Choosing How I See God

Not too long ago I had a conversation with a person who struggles with addiction. He told me how he has a goal of developing more self discipline in his life. But he finds that he always fails in his efforts. He feels that he can’t stick with anything for very long. I affirmed this desire to develop a more disciplined life and then probed a bit into how he has pursued this goal in the past. We talked about what he might do differently going forward. I then asked him how faith might be helpful. He visibly bristled and his tone became sharper.

“I’ve tried Christianity,” he spat. “But I just can’t meet all the expectations that are put on me. And of course, the Bible says that God will love me only if I can meet all of His perfect expectations.” All this was said while rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

I didn’t get a chance to adequately respond to his summation of Christianity and God’s expectations. Time ran out and he had to go. But his words got me thinking about how so many people see God. Our view of the Almighty so profoundly affects how we choose to live our lives. Somewhere in this man’s history, he had picked up the message that God is a fussy rule keeper and is not really interested in helping a person who is not already near perfect. Like so many, he sees humans as being on their own while God watches with His arms crossed, scowling in judgment.

More Information?

Of course, I think this man has it all wrong. That is not the God I have come to know and love. But what does it take for a person to change his or her view of God? I have been asking myself this question for many years.

Rarely does more information make a difference. Christian apologetics rarely seem to change a mind (or will) that is already set against God. Seeing God for who He is does not require great amounts of cerebral energy. It’s more about heart posture and the willingness to admit that maybe I have been looking at Him the wrong way.

But even before that, there is the motivation question. Why would I want to see Him differently. Or what makes me content with how I see Him now? Maybe even a better question to start with is what motivates me to change how I view other things in my life? What is necessary for the eyes of my heart to see anything differently?

Something’s Gotta Change

Several years ago, a friend of mine shared with me that he was struggling with sleep-related issues. He would stop breathing for short periods of time throughout the night. This was accompanied by snoring and tiredness the next day, even after sleeping all night. The only way to get any sleep was to sit upright in a chair rather than lying on a bed. He finally did a sleep study and was told he had sleep apnea. They introduced him to the machine he could use that would allow him to get better rest.

The equipment was expensive, however. And he was suspicious. His initial take-away was that the whole thing was a money pit, possibly a scam. When he talked with me after the sleep study, he had very few good things to say about it all.

A year and a half later, when I talked with him, everything had changed. Particularly his attitude. He was using the equipment and sleeping so much better. He even said to me that he loved his CPAP machine. It had taken some time to get used to, but he was now feeling so much better.

What motivated the change?

The Role of Misery

It wasn’t more information. I would say it was discomfort that led to desperation that led to opening his heart where it had been closed. He already had all the data. His view and feelings on CPAP machines changed as his options narrowed down until there was nothing else left. It’s not a fun place to land. But desperation can push us to new and better places. Desperation is our friend, if we will only let it open our eyes to what has always been there. As it has been said, sometimes you have to go low before you can climb high.

No Guarantees

But, of course, the gloom and misery of options being taken away can lead us into a greater hopelessness. And this is when we come to an important crossroad. We have the choice of where we will let discomfort, pain, confusion, doubt, and suffering lead us. It will either take us deeper into the pit of ourselves or stir us to humbly cry out to One who is higher than I.

So, to return to my original question. What does it take for a person to change his or her mind, particularly about something deeply imbedded, something as fundamental as our concept of God? Suffering and discomfort seem to be the tools that dig deep enough to give the opportunity for real change. But even then, some of us resist releasing old ideas to the point of absurdity.

The Rewards of Suffering

The man I chatted with about God’s place in helping him with his addictions is still wrestling. I doubt there is new information that can change his mind and attitude. He may yet have some deeper levels of frustration he has to pass through before he’s willing to give God another chance. But it will still come down to his choice to let his mind change and his eyes to be opened.

As followers of Jesus celebrate Holy Week and reflect on the sufferings of Jesus, may we gain a new appreciation of what adversity, anguish, and hardship can give us. The rewards are counter intuitive. May our pain, doubts, and confusion not lead us deeper into ourselves. But may there be a new revelation of the One who is there to receive us into His arms and instill an eternal hope that cannot be taken away.

May we see God more and more in the way He has intended.

Have a blessed Resurrection Day!

Response:

• How stubborn am I? What does it take for me to change my mind?
• What attitudes or feelings about God keep me from really trusting Him?
• How do discomfort and suffering affect me? Do they tend to push me closer or farther away from Him?
• In what ways could the feelings of desperation actually help how I see God?
• Jesus, what do you want to show me in your sufferings?