Choosing the Direction of My Love

I realize now there was one central reason I played sports as a kid. I wanted to belong. There were some bright moments on the high school football team, but I knew I would never be a star player. It was the opportunity to connect with a group, develop camaraderie, and form an identity that held the drawing power. I basked in the glow of being a football player! I was one of the guys! I even heard myself telling others that I loved football.

Looking back, the hype all feels a bit silly now.

Yet everyone, it seems, gravitates toward a group identity – even the non-conformist rebels tend to drift toward one another. The power of belonging is what I believe is behind the cohesiveness of ethnic groups, political parties, gangs, religious groups, and social-sexual associations – think of all the letters hanging together in LGBTQ+. Group identity empowers individuals to feel bigger than just one little ol’ person. But what fuels a person’s drive toward a particular association?

I believe it is rooted in what a person has chosen to love.

The Highway of Love

There are a lot of ways to define how love is talked about these days. But regardless what definition a person adheres to, I think it’s important to remind ourselves that none are immune from pursuing that which they have chosen to give themselves. Everyone loves in some manner. I’m referring to love as the choice or impulse to hand ourselves over in thought, deed, and affection to another. It could be to an idea, an activity, a system, a group, or a person. We all do it! Not all wisely, and not all that leads to good ends. We attach ourselves and our affections through our choices to admirable people (often just ourselves), stimulating projects and entertainment, stirring ideals, intriguing philosophies, heart-gripping beliefs. It depends on what we are convinced will enrich our identities or at least make us happier.

Recently, I have been reading some of the writings of a guy known as Saint Augustine. He was a North African philosopher/theologian/pastor born in the year 354 and died in 430. That’s a long time ago. But he has profoundly influenced many of the ways that Western societies think even today – though that may be changing. He spoke and wrote a lot about love. He’s the one who said (I paraphrase) it is not what we know that rules and directs our lives but what we love.

In other words, it’s not just information or intellect that points us to our destinies. It is on that which we have chosen to focus our hearts, minds, and strength (for whatever reason). That which I choose to love leads me into my future. Think of what Jesus said was the greatest commandment (Matthew 22:37-38). A wise person will ask, is what I am loving leading me to a good place? For, I’m going to have to live forever wherever it takes me.

Leading to My Ultimate Destination

One of the works Augustine is known for is a book called The City of God. It was written after Rome was sacked by the Barbarian Visigoths in the year 410. The empire was in shock that something like that could happen. Rome wasn’t just a city, it was an ideal, a way of seeing the world and understanding one’s own identity through the order that humans could bring. Augustine juxtaposed this human constructed city with the city God has been building and inviting humanity to join Him in.

At more than 1,000 pages long, it lays out the emptiness of attaching one’s hope and identity to a human (and sometimes demonic) construct. Instead, it’s in God’s City, which has been established and will continue on into eternity, where a person will find meaning and fulfillment. It’s the kingdom of this world versus the Kingdom of God motif. And it applies to followers of Jesus today more than ever.

The bottom-line question Augustine asks me is, what do you love? The city of the world offers all sorts of short-term stimulation, pleasure, affirmation, and explanations for why I need not submit to anything greater than myself. If my heart is focused on those things, then my love will lead me into the destiny (and limits) of what those things ultimately offer. That which I love, in this sense, is the route or highway by which I pursue and solidify what I become and where it all ends.

Desires that Guide Me

If I choose to love the City of God and all that is part of it, I will labor to make it my home. It doesn’t always feel comfortable (at least at first). I have been so accustomed to the immediate self-gratification of the world’s city. But, my love for God is leading me into all the beauty, goodness, and rightness that I find my heart longing for. And it is found in Him. Yes, I also find there is suffering in my pursuit of His City. But deep down I realize that pain and discomfort are almost always attached to the true treasures of life. Jesus is my example of that.

“Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world – the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life – is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever” (1 John 2:15-17 ESV).

Depending on which city the desires of my heart are focused, my love can lead me in different directions. Love for the things valued and promoted in this world (which is passing away) will take me away from my Heavenly Father and to a dead end. Am I loving the wrong things?

I still want to belong to a team. But to which team are my loves leading me?

After all, what I love makes all the difference. Do I need to love differently?

Response:

• What things get the majority of my time, attention, and affection? To which city are they leading me?
• What are the ways I can see how what I love is leading me? How satisfied am I with the direction I am heading?
• What can I do differently to change the direction of what I love? How can I make my loves more eternal?
• Jesus, teach me to love what lasts, what you love.