Choosing to Resist an Adulterous Heart

The first time I remember contemplating the word “adultery,” I wondered why it was called that. My conclusion, as a child, was that it was a word to describe the many things that adults do. Though I did not understand it, at the time, this homemade etymological explanation made sense to me. The world of adults was still mysterious. It wasn’t till I was a teen that the more specific meaning became clear. The word “adultery” was then replaced with a more contemporary term, “having an affair.”

But opportunities to ponder expressions of the word did not go away. Movies and stories referred to it. I eventually heard of colleagues and friends having extra-marital affairs, occasionally calling it adultery. But my understanding of the meaning had to be expanded when I ran across something Jesus said to those following Him:

“Then some of the scribes and Pharisees answered him, saying, ‘Teacher, we wish to see a sign from you.’ But he answered them, ‘An evil and adulterous generation seeks for a sign, but no sign will be given to it except the sign of the prophet Jonah’” (Matthew 12:38-39 ESV).

How could an entire generation of people be adulterous?

Recently, I returned to wrestling with this question. The word, used as an adjective in this verse, doesn’t seem to refer to sexual unfaithfulness. So, what’s behind it?

Lots of Affairs

A quick Google search reveals that unfaithfulness in marriages and cohabitating relationships is quite common. There is no single consistent number given, but I saw 25% mentioned several times. That’s a quarter of all “committed” unions experiencing some kind of sexual/emotional unfaithfulness, often more than once. And these numbers come from the ones who have admitted it. Surely there are many who never confess. Of this number, males have a higher rate of occurrence by quite a bit. But it appears that the female number is growing.

What leads someone to have an extra-marital affair, to commit adultery (as the Bible calls it)?

I’m sure the details of why varies with every person. But, from what I have read and those I have talked with, it generally begins with a dissatisfaction with one’s present state. Or, it’s when I feel everything is fine with my partner, but “that person” comes along and makes me feel different, more alive and excited about life. As to what makes an affair attractive and addictive, adrenaline rush is referred to more than once.

There is growing sentiment to de-stigmatize adulterous affairs (think “open marriages”). I have read more than one article about how monogamous relationships are unnatural. But of course in these articles, humans are typically compared with animals, and it’s assumed that fleshly indulgences should not be restricted. Arguing for the sanctity of marriage commitment, however, is not the point I want to make here.

A Heart Position

I don’t think Jesus was necessarily talking about sexual infidelity. Like in most of His teachings, He is exposing a condition of the human heart. Adultery seems to be a mindset or another way to describe unfaithfulness in general. The prophets of the Old Testament used adultery to illustrate Israel’s pursuit of idols and their hard and unsteady attitudes toward Him.

An unfaithful heart is easily distracted. It has weak cords or none at all to hold it in place. What is important or most valuable for an untethered soul can change, depending on circumstances, the “latest thing,” and the emotional pull that accompanies it all. That’s the bottom line. What feels right and good for myself at the moment is the standard used to decide what commitments to keep and which ones to abandon. The result is instability – in my beliefs, my relationships, my direction in life.

It’s not surprising that God uses the concept of adultery to illustrate what it’s like for those who refuse Him or find themselves wandering to easier and more tantalizing ways of life. When Jesus called an entire generation adulterous, He was pointing out how they were demanding something to wow themselves, and if they didn’t get it they would just move on. His response is interesting. They are not going to get the momentary thrill their wandering hearts are lusting for. They are only going to get the “sign of Jonah.”

And what is that?

Sacrificial Love and Covenant Relationship

“For just as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of the great fish, so will the Son of Man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth” (Matthew 12:40 ESV).

They are going to watch the Son of Man die, and their response will reveal everything. The suffering and death of the Jesus is repulsive to an adulterous heart. It seems ridiculous, grotesque, or non-consequential. It definitely does not feel good. Those with such a heart miss what is in front of them. The beauty and attraction of such a sacrifice by the Lamb of God bounces off those who have let themselves become calloused to the ways of God. They resist a covenant relationship. But to those who have humbly covenanted with Him, surrendering the core of their being, eyes are opened to see this as the greatest sign of all.

As a follower of Jesus, one of my tasks is to guard against an adulterous heart. Yes, it’s important for my marriage. But it’s even more vital for my walk with God.

What does an adulterous heart look and sound like?

• It avoids commitments.
• It avoids self-sacrifice.
• It blames others for its difficulties and problems.
• It excuses itself by calling itself “realistic.”
• It justifies itself by emphasizing the need to “take care of me first.”
• It idealizes itself by pushing me “to pursue my dreams.”
• It demands its own way and urges me to leave my commitments when I don’t get what I want.

An adulterous heart is the natural way of most of us adults. It may lead me to some short-term thrills and self-justification. But it will never take me to an eternal place of true peace and contentment. Only the Lamb of God, His sacrifice, and covenant with Him can do that.

Let’s turn our hearts to Him and ask to be taught faithfulness.

Response:

• How important is faithfulness in my life?
• How easily do I give up my commitments?
• What role does self-sacrifice play in my relationship with God? My relationships with others?
• What do I need to do to resist an adulterous heart and embrace covenantal love?
• Jesus, reveal to me the beauty and hope in the Sacrificial Lamb of God.