Choosing the Right Memory

I forgot a friend’s name the other day. For a few moments I couldn’t recall that word that represents someone I care about. It should be so familiar to me. I felt ashamed. Fortunately, the lapse didn’t last long. But moments like these make me wonder if this means age is catching up with me. Or am I just not thinking about that person enough to keep his name fresh and alive in my memory?

Whatever the reason, forgetfulness is becoming more common. Besides people’s names, there are those book or movie titles that stay on the tip of my tongue, but I cannot bring them fully up from my memory. Jokes or stories I start to tell but then realize I can’t recall the details. It’s often a matter of focus. I can be intent on one subject while being asked about another and find it difficult to shift efficiently. Sometimes I can feel the memory I’m pursuing swirling away like a feather in a gust of wind. And the greater effort I give to grab it, the more elusive it becomes. I don’t remember it always being this way. But maybe that’s just another memory problem.

Perhaps it is age, after all.

But, I feel there can be some forgetfulness that has nothing to do with aging. How often have I forgotten God, His power, His goodness, His mercy? Particularly when I was younger, all it took was a shortfall of money, a miserable sickness, an expectation not met, or a relational hurt. My focus would be on myself, my fears, my anger so much that it felt as if everything God had promised or provided in the past never existed.

Yes, there is a forgetfulness that has nothing to do with age.

But it’s an Age-Old Problem

The irony of it all is that I so easily forget the good stuff God has done while never seeming to lose the memories of the not-so-good stuff that has happened. Left unchecked, fearful and painful memories overpower the pleasant and life-giving ones and then dominate my life. I have to choose which are going to stay in focus and get the most attention.

In the Old Testament book of Deuteronomy, Moses seems to have been aware of this phenomenon of forgetfulness. He assembled the Israelites after 40 years of wandering in the wilderness to give instructional reminders. They were going to cross the Jordan River and claim the fruitful land God had promised. But it was going to be difficult. There were many things to fear, including hostile armies that outnumbered them as well as legendary giants. In addition, they were surely thinking of the battles where their fathers had been defeated and sent running. Moses’ tactic for instilling courage, however, was to redirect their focus to the RIGHT MEMORIES, challenging them to remember all that God had done for them.

He reminded them how God had delivered them as slaves from the most powerful nation in the world. Miraculous signs that perplexed the wisest men of Egypt were followed by the complete destruction of the Egyptian army at the Red Sea. Food and water were supplied in the middle of the desert. Their clothing and sandals did not wear out – their feet didn’t even swell or blister (Deuteronomy 8:4 NLT). And when the seemingly super-human giant Anakites, King Sihon and King Og, attacked with their armies, the Israelites completely defeated them. On these historical events they needed to place their focus. If they could only call to mind all that God had done before and remember that He had not changed, they could go forward with courage to face the new challenges.

Changing My Focus

I am very much like the Israelites in my tendency to forget the examples of God’s goodness and power. What can I do to live daily in the memories that bring life and hope for the future?

Thankfulness is one of the most potent disciplines for living out my faith. There are many negative, hurtful, and confusing events of the past and present that, if given habitual mental attention, will poison my ability to move forward. Pain has to be acknowledged, yes, and counseling as well as prayer ministry can be very helpful. But the past failures, betrayals, and hurt cannot remain as my focus. It is when I give more of my attention to the good things I have been given that a doorway of life opens. Gratitude for life itself is an effective place to begin. When I realize that I am owed nothing in my present existence and all that I have are gifts, I can begin to see life rightly, walk in humble thankfulness, and believe that there is goodness in my future.

Once I begin to cultivate gratitude, I need to tell the stories. Testimonies of the gift-giving nature of God are powerful. They keep my focus on that which I am to build my life – God’s faithfulness. In addition, when I ask others to tell their stories of God’s gifts, a new environment of faith can be established for all who hear. The atmosphere changes when stories of divine intervention, provision, and expressions of God’s love and kindness are proclaimed into the airwaves.

The biggest question that I often have is why do I not practice these disciplines even more? Remembering the good and releasing the bad is a healthy way to go forward in life.

On a practical level, I am forgetting more than I used to. But there are some things I need never let slip away. My choice to recall all the amazing people that have crossed my path and all the ways my needs and the needs of my family have been met are things I can choose to hold onto now. What joy in remembering I can experience even as my body and mind age. And because of the goodness of God I recall from the past, I can choose to believe that there is goodness still in my future. This is the basis of my hope.

I choose not to forget it!

Response:

• What do I easily forget? How can I change the habits of what I focus on to improve the things I remember?
• What gets my attention more than God?
• How can I strengthen the disciplines of gratitude and sharing stories of God’s faithfulness?
• Jesus, may my focus be less on what I don’t have and ever increasing to be on what I have been given.