Choosing More than Results

“Christianity doesn’t work.”

I’ve been told this more than once. Someone explains why he’s giving up his faith, and it usually has something to do with him not getting what he feels he needs. Typically, references are made to unanswered prayers; troubling questions without satisfactory answers; doctrines that don’t make sense; and of course, there is always that person or group of people who claim to be Christians and are jerks. He simply does not want to be associated with such ignorance or insensitivity anymore. His position is often summed up with a statement like, “Neither the world nor my life has improved because of Christianity. In fact, it’s made everything worse. So I’m moving on.”

So, what makes something workable and worth sticking with it? I don’t know if it’s a Western thing or just a human thing that leads so many in my culture to judge something or someone according to how everything turns out. It is my tendency. If I have an itchy scalp, the question for the new shampoo I’m purchasing is, does it take the itch away? If it doesn’t work it’s not meeting my felt need, and it’s not good for me. This is how I, and I’m sure most people, judge consumer products.

But is it the right way to look at all of life?

Happiness or Something Else?

There is an approach to ethics known as utilitarianism. Right and good actions are decided by what gives the highest sense of happiness, pleasure, or contentment to the greatest number of people. From this way of thinking come phrases like, “whatever makes you happy;” or, “the end justifies the means;” or, to use something my grandmother would have said, “the proof is in the pudding.” It’s all about a desirable product, problems being solved, pain eradicated, everyone happy and feeling better. If, on the other hand, the results of an event or a choice or a relationship is pain, confusion, loss of resources, tension, or widespread dissatisfaction, then it’s natural to call the triggering event “bad.” And if my system of doing things (i.e., my faith) cannot fix it, heal it, or take it away then it’s useless and should be discarded.

Another way of identifying goodness can be framed by the question, “what does the process provide?” This question opens the door to other questions that can help us look a little deeper beneath the “helpful/not helpful” dichotomy.  “What can we learn from this?” or “Is there something more valuable here than my getting what I want?”

That Hidden Something

Other questions press into the very source of faith. “If God is good, why don’t I feel happier? Why does God not produce more obvious goodness in my life or in the world?” These are so common. But maybe the answers depend on where we are looking for good things. I have found that goodness is often encountered outside nice and neat endings. It’s the up and down process of life, relationships, spirituality, faith, and a host of other things that reveal a deeper reality, that is, where goodness is dwelling. God is often accused of not being good because things don’t work out in the ways we think they should. But maybe the issue is that His goodness typically is not revealed to this present world packaged in neat parcels.

Take the idea of love for example. The scriptures tell us that “God is love” (1 John 4:8). Everyone, even the non-religious, shout that we need more love in this world. But most people look for a certain “product” to determine if love is happening or being received: smiles, sense of harmony, cooperation, feelings of contentment, etc. And while these can all be by-products of loving interactions, I don’t believe they provide the whole picture – not even close. So often, I judge the worthiness of my love given to another according to how well that person responds to the act of kindness, tenderness, or vulnerability I display. A negative response is often interpreted as a waste of effort or an example where love didn’t work.

I have known people who have adopted children out of abusive situations. They pour themselves out in the most selfless, loving way, caring for every physical and emotional need, representing God so well. But in the end, the children grow up and reject the adopted parents, living anti-social and self-destructive lives. Shouldn’t sincere parental love modelled after God produce good, upright, stable, and moral children? It seems that even God’s love doesn’t always work.

Growth is in the Process

Yet, what if the process of loving another is good in and of itself, regardless the results we see?

Can we imagine the value of love outside of producing pleasant feelings in ourselves or desired behavior in another? The process of love acts on me doing the loving as much as, if not more than, the one receiving the benefit of my care. To love and give myself to another, especially when it’s hard, painful, and seemingly fruitless connects me with God beyond materialistic logic. I want to know this love because it is the kind the Bible speaks of when it tells us God IS love. It is so much a part of His essence that He gives though it costs Him everything (John 3:16), with the possibility that no one might ever respond.

Maybe, in the same way, there is more worth in the Christian faith than any “results” an individual can feel or see in the short term. Even if being a follower of Christ doesn’t “fix” my problems, heal my relationships, enlarge my bank account, or end all wars there is still a supreme goodness in walking with Him in obedience. For, that is how we grow to become more like Him.

It is the process of loving and following Jesus that shapes me and prepares me for eternity. That is the result I am looking for.

Response:

• How often have I viewed my faith merely as a means for making my life feel better? What needs to change about the way I view faith?
• What might help me slow down and let God show me His grace within the process of my present struggle, frustration, or pain?
• In which of my relationships might God be trying to show the value of love beyond favorable results?
• How might having my focus more on eternity help me be at peace when I don’t get the product I want now?
• Jesus, may loving you and being loved by you be enough for me.

(Edited and reposted from September 30, 2024 “Choosing the Process Over the Product”)