Choosing the Reason I Love

There are a lot of people I don’t like. In fact, there are some, if I had it my way, I would avoid completely. They either believe differently than I do and make me feel uncomfortable; they are interested in things I cannot relate to; or they have rude habits that irritate and make me look for an exit. Many people in this world make “loving my neighbor” a real chore, if not completely impossible.

To speak honestly, I don’t feel any love for most the people I see walking the streets. I particularly feel a void of affection for other drivers on the road (after all, they’re mostly idiots, right?). Politicians and public personas tend to push me into a judgmental attitude. The personalities projected on social media often strike me as fake. And the arguments I observe breaking out on the internet typically feel like nothing more than image polishing and virtue signaling. As I grow older and follow the twisted patterns of people’s behavior, I fear I am turning into a cynical judge of all things that are human (baa humbug)!

It’s a Command!

And yet, Jesus tells me that the Second-Greatest Commandment for His followers is to love my neighbor as I love myself (Matthew 22:39). When someone asked Him, “Who is my neighbor?” obviously looking for a loophole (which is what I would have done), Jesus then told the story we know as the Good Samaritan. The conclusion was that the Samaritan — despised and avoided by all Jews at the time — was The Neighbor. The one nobody liked and viewed as coming from the problem people of their land was the example given of who Jesus followers are to love (Luke 10:25-37). 

Ouch! 

This feels offensive and doesn’t fit my sentiments of love. 

So, what am I going to do if I seriously want to follow Jesus?

I want to first clarify what Jesus meant by love. What is it, and what it is not? 

What is Love?

What I always notice when pondering biblical love is that it has little to do with pleasant feelings. Like so many of the spiritual qualities spoken of in the scriptures, love primarily involves an engagement of my will. Choosing to give the highest possible good to another seems to best describe what Jesus illustrates as loving another. Looking for ways to bestow blessings on others (especially those I don’t like), regardless what I feel toward them is the way of Jesus. The story of the Good Samaritan illustrates this well.

Regardless how unauthentic this may feel, and how difficult it may be to do, what God calls love has very little to do with what we may feel. Pour out goodness in word and deed on others even when there’s no sensation to go with it or when they don’t deserve it. Speak blessings over the “idiots” on the road (and wherever else you may bump into them)!

I will be the first to say it: I don’t think I can do this. I’m not sure I even want to. And I am confident that I am not alone in how I feel.

Did Jesus realize how difficult and even impossible this commandment is?

Where Does it Come From?

He knew human nature well. Jesus would have been very aware of how difficult such a commandment and its application were for the average human. And yet, I don’t see Jesus as merely making a rhetorical statement here for emotional effect. The key, in my understanding, is found in the First Greatest Commandment (the one we skipped over): You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, mind, and strength (Matthew 22:37-38). There is a reason that these two commandments are presented to us in this particular order. The first must be acted on before the second can be obeyed.

Most agree that there ought to be more love between people. “Love is the answer” is not a controversial statement in and of itself. It’s what the world needs. Few people would say, however, that our focus and greatest energy should be put into loving God. At face value, with the mindset of the average person, there seems to be no practical value in loving an invisible spirit. We should just focus on the second commandment: try harder to love those unlovable flesh-and-blood people who are always messing things up.

But it doesn’t work. No matter how hard I try, my good will toward others operates in starts and spurts and then disappears and dies. Sooner or later (mostly sooner), I run out of my “love” for others.

First Things First

I find that the way I can best love people (especially the ones I don’t like)  with something more enduring is to first choose to give my all to God. When I’m walking in right relationship with Him, I then am motivated to love and bless those that He loves and desires to bless. With my mind and heart humbling focused on the heart of my Creator and all He has done for me, I find that I can begin to choose the best for those around me. And He’s a resource that never runs out.

In other words, I need a reason outside myself and my sentiments to love people. The only one that I have found to always give me what I don’t possess is the reminder that God loves them. As I learn to love Him more, I open myself up to a greater capacity to love all those I find naturally unlovable.

It has always been easy to theoretically love people with my sentiments, especially people I don’t have to be around or live near. Responding to the love God has shown me, gives me motivation to bless the individual who cuts me off in traffic even as I am not liking what that person has done.

The reason I choose to love others makes all the difference. I confess that I cannot truly love any other person on my own. Only as my love relationship with God deepens does it seem even remotely possible to give to another that doesn’t seem to deserve it. But when I choose to love, it starts out not even being for that individual. Instead, it is for the sake of the One who made and loves that individual. And He happens to be the One who also loves me.

God is love. Learn it from Him. Get it from Him. And give it away for His sake.

Response:

• To what extent can I love another from my own storehouse of affection? What happens when the feelings are no longer there to support my efforts?
• What’s my definition of love? How much of it depends on how I feel?
• How much do I look to God as the source of my love for people?
• Jesus, teach me how to love God first and then love people.