Choosing God’s Definition of Love
I was in Lhasa, Tibet the first time I saw someone physically bow in worship to a statue. The Buddhist temple was filled with smoky incense, and dozens of people prostrated before a grinning image. Sunday-school stories of the ancient Israelites giving offerings to idols bubbled up from my memory. It was difficult to comprehend there were people today still worshiping gods made of wood and metal. The second Commandment came to mind: “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them” (Exodus 20:4, ESV).
My next thought: “I’m so glad we don’t carve images and worship them in our Western culture.”
Of course, I’m embarrassed now that I blindly believed the American people were idol-free. As a nation, we’ve made gods out of so many things, it’s mind blowing. Money and comfort are only the tip of the proverbial iceberg. There are all kinds of things we worshipfully run after to make our lives feel easier and worthwhile. We have relational idols—ideal connections with others that we trust will remove or cover our loneliness and give a greater sense of significance. We have philosophical and political idols—ideas we count on to provide a sense of control, self-determination, and justice. We even have religious idols—reshaped images of God that allow us to better relate to, manage, and fit the divine into our lifestyle.
Yes, we still worshipfully “carve” and fashion things and ideas into shapes we believe will benefit us. And we then bow down in submission, living our lives and treating others according to how these “gods” dictate.
Buddhist temples have nothing on us when it comes to worshiping hand-crafted images.
The Shape of Love?
One such thing I have noticed popping up more and more among Christians is the refashioned image of love. We quickly assume we know what it is: to show love is to affirm the feelings and personal interests of another. Granted, sometimes that is how love is manifested. But as far as a definition goes, it’s not quite what’s presented in the scriptures. Nobody today disagrees that we need more love in our society. However, if you ask someone what the word means, you’re likely to hear something about being nice and letting people alone to do and be whatever they want.
The most succinct definition of love in the Bible is found in 1 John 4:8: “God is love.” It’s important to note that it doesn’t merely say God is loving. In other words, love is the essence of the totality of God’s being. It is not just what He does, it is what He is.
Some are drawn to this definition because it allows us to call out anyone who does something that we consider insensitive or unloving as working against or opposing God. The logic appears to be sound: if God’s essence is love and we claim that His Spirit indwells us, then love is what we should be all about. And someone who isn’t loving is thus “Godless.”
However, if we’re going to take this definition seriously, it seems to me that we first must determine what God is like so we can then know what love is really like. Only then can we conclude whether what we feel love ought to be fits with what has been revealed about who God is. To be faithful to this definition, we must start with God. If we begin instead with what we personally believe love is or should feel like, we end up shaping our image of God, and love, after ourselves. Thus, we would be saying something more like, “My idea of love is God.” We would then be on the pathway of worshiping an image rather than the Almighty Creator of heaven and earth.
This possibility should concern any follower of Jesus.
Read MoreChoosing to Turn from Anger
I almost killed my younger brother when I was 12. He was being mean to our sister, and when I stepped in, he said something—I don’t remember what. But I lost it. I put my hands around his throat and squeezed as hard as I could. The screams of our sister finally cleared the red haze clouding my brain. My brother’s face was a shade of blue. I pulled away, stunned that I could do such a thing. Even though I was young, and I felt my feelings were justified, I couldn’t deny that something dark had churned up to the surface. And It scared me, not to mention my siblings.
What is it?
Anger is an emotion that provides a surge of energy through the body and mind. In addition, it’s a protective armor that covers the vulnerable and weak places where my insecurities dwell within. It makes me feel bigger and more powerful than I actually am. It’s addictive and difficult to put away once it is found to be effective for injecting strength I can’t otherwise access. It makes me feel in control . . . for a moment.
But it’s also destructive and twists my judgment. Yes, the Bible mentions righteous anger, the kind without sin (Ephesians 4:26). But the stuff we mostly deal with falls far from any rightness in its results: holes in walls; broken tennis rackets; refusal to speak to that person; impulsive texts that “speak our minds;” friends and family members who now avoid us; canceling; secret desires to get even and see people hurt, a younger brother with bruises around his neck. And it only gets worse.
For centuries, Jesus followers have classified anger as one of the Seven Deadly Sins.* These sins are the attitudes and behaviors that early Jesus followers recognized as seedbeds for all sorts of evil. Anger is a particularly toxic one since it is so easily justified and quickly grows. While anger can take various forms and even smolder hidden within our hearts, a common way this particular sin manifests is as a drive for revenge, desiring and even meditating on others getting the humiliation or pain we feel they’ve earned.
Wishing on them what they deserve
The Bible declares that vengeance is territory that belongs to God alone (Romans 12:19). But the hunger for it can get so strong. And the taste of it, so sweet (at least that’s what we imagine). We want justice—that is, personal satisfaction—when we’re offended. Finding a way to take it into our own hands, right a wrong, humiliate a bully, hurt a hurter or humble someone acting too arrogant just feels right and even pleasurable. But God seems to be saying that we will rarely, if ever, get it right and the pleasure, if any, will be short-lived. We only mess things up more. We are urged to leave it to Him and then bless our enemies (Luke 6:28). Anger interferes with us dealing with “undeserving” people God’s way. And He has a way, if we’ll only trust Him.
So, why is anger a deadly sin? Because so many dark, ugly, and damaging sins spring out of it. In its essence, it opens the door for us to dehumanize another person or group. Unrestrained anger then paves the way for prejudice, malicious talk, defaming another’s character, gossip, shunning, broken relationships, hatred, violence and homicide—justifying each sin the whole way. We don’t treat people as made in the image of God because in our anger we have judged they don’t deserve that sort of value. Basically, we can’t handle anger without inflicting some kind of damage on others—and ourselves. Uncontrolled anger will destroy us if not confronted. We must call it what it is and choose to turn away from it.
Read MoreChoosing to Read Even the Little Words
Full disclosure: I am a recovering English teacher. It’s been many years since I stood in front of a class of middle-schoolers and attempted to convey the beauty of past participles, gerunds and the joy of diagraming a sentence. The response was almost always less than rewarding. Honestly, I never personally liked anything grammatical. It was just part of the job. And focusing on grammar never seemed to produce more motivated readers anyway. But I do find myself every once in a while, as I read, breaking apart a sentence to see if there might be anything hidden a little deeper in the text. This can be helpful when I attempt to comprehend the pithy thinking of a philosopher or theologian. Typically it sounds boring and labor-intensive, so it doesn’t happen often.
My grammatical antennae recently went up, however, as I was reading the Bible. It’s a book that is not always easy to appreciate, especially if you venture into the non-stories. It easily feels like theological gibberish and takes some work to comprehend what’s being said. But the payoff for making the effort can be enriching for a Jesus follower (and even those who are not yet following Him). Unfortunately, I don’t know the original languages of ancient Hebrew or Greek to help me in the process. But as my eyes passed over the text last week, some insignificant English words caught my attention and got me wondering. Suddenly I was seeing prepositions and actually asking myself what they meant. And that can be a bit unsettling, even for an English teacher.
WARNING: Short grammar lesson ahead!
It’s a category of words that most of us forgot the moment we stepped out of the classroom. Some may not have even gotten that far. Simply put, prepositions are connecting words that show the relationship between two items. They provide information about location, time, position, direction or relation. Commonly used prepositions are – to, at, in, on, before, after, through, of, by, towards, about, inside, over, under, between, within – and the list goes on. Learning to use these words give speakers of other languages fits when studying English (why do we get ON a bus but IN a car?). A simple, but not complete, image for identifying prepositions that I offered my middle schoolers in the past was, think of how an airplane might relate to a cloud. It could fly above, behind, around, below, beneath, beside, and through it – all prepositions. You get the idea.
I realized that when reading the Bible and trying to better understand our relationship to God, prepositions can provide a window to better appreciate what’s being said. Let’s look at the passage Colossians 3:3-7 (ESV) for example and focus on the seemingly insignificant word “IN”:
Read MoreChoosing the Right Kind of Crazy
Most people have done things they look back upon and view as a bit wacky. “What was I thinking?” Sometimes they were done for love. Sometimes they were done to relieve boredom. Sometimes they were done for the thrill and attention. And sometimes they were done because of personal convictions. Then there are the things done that are downright insane with potential life-threatening consequences.
- A stuntman named Freddy Nock is known for walking on tight ropes over mountain gorges, often on an upward slope without safeguards.
- Skydiver, Luke Aikins, jumped from 25,000 feet (7,620 meters) without a parachute in 2016, landing in a giant net and setting a world record. Yes, he could have easily missed the net.
- Then there’s a man named Amou Haji from Iran who hasn’t showered in more than 60 years. He believes that bathing will make him sick. And, of course, he doesn’t live with anybody.*
It Makes Sense to Me
Interestingly, every one of these and others that have done or are doing things considered weird or “off the deep end,” believe they have “good” reasons for their actions. That which is seen as reasonable, justifiable, and positive is always determined according to an individual’s values and worldview. Amou, the non-bather, has explained the reasoning behind his position. He got quite sick after taking a bath when he was young. Because he values feeling well, it logically followed in his mind to never wash himself again.
The same idea can be applied to how a society or an entire generation thinks. Common thought processes and unique patterns of logic develop in groups that make sense to the members but many times not to “outsiders.” We often look back in history and negatively judge people for their stupid actions or beliefs. But many individuals we think of as nutty or deranged were actually quite intelligent, maybe even more so than us. It’s the way they viewed the world, understood reality, and determined values that shaped their dubious and sometimes atrocious behavior. Beliefs are the machines that produce our actions and lifestyles.
Glad I’m Not the Crazy One
But before we divide the present population between the right-minded and the crazies, maybe we should ask ourselves some questions.
- What do my life and choices look like to those watching from the outside?
- Where are there inconsistencies between what I believe, what I say, and what I do?
- How might future generations look back on me or my group and shake their heads in disbelief, ridicule, or disgust over what we have chosen to embrace?
Choosing the Right Source For Help
For some reason it’s painful to admit that I’m not a handyman. Sure, I have taught myself how to fix some things around the house. But, I have also created a lot of messes. The bottom-line issue has almost always been to save money. Time is usually less expensive for me than hiring a trained professional. So, I have been motivated to figure it out myself, or find convenient and cheap advice. My do-it-yourself plumbing jobs and electric wiring projects, therefore, have rarely been completed without mishap. Yet I’ve had just enough successes to keep me feeling “I’ve got this one.”
The writer of Psalm 121 said, “I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come?” This is an ageless question. Where should we look when we need some help? We all require it, regardless if we admit it to ourselves or not. Whether it’s how to fix the bathroom faucet from dripping, or how to climb out of a massive hole of credit-card debt, or what to do with the confusing questions surrounding identity, purpose, sexuality, past, future, etc. Sooner or later we all ask ourselves, “From where does my help come?” How we answer greatly determines where we end up down the road. The source we seek help from today will either create greater messes or lead us toward a life-giving, peaceful future.
What do the “hills” have to offer?
The Psalmist’s natural inclination was to look to the surrounding hills for support and guidance. This initially doesn’t make sense to my 21st Century mind. But when I recall that in ancient Israel there were mini worship centers called high places sprinkled throughout the land, it becomes a little clearer. These altars were more convenient than traveling all the way to the Temple in Jerusalem to worship Yahweh. And since they were rogue sites, not really answering to any real spiritual authority, over time they absorbed the worship practices of local Canaanite deities. Yahweh worship got muddled with the practices of ancient pop culture.
Ultimately, the “hills” were where a person went to find aid and answers on their own terms. They had a more comfortable, “hip,” and broad-minded feel than Yahweh’s seemingly strict and narrow commandments. The local gods and goddesses came across as more accommodating in receiving the people’s worship and spiritual loyalty.
Yet, the ancient prophets of Israel were explicit: the Temple of Yahweh was where God’s Spirit manifested. It was THERE they were to worship, their sins to be forgiven, and God’s intervention in their lives accessed. Having ONE location and ONE source was an important way Yahweh distinguished Himself from the pantheon of powerless deities the local people worshiped.
The difference between good and evil kings of both Israel and Judah was often determined by how they dealt with these high places. The leaders who had them torn down and directed the people back to the Temple were the ones that displayed a humble respect for God’s place in Israel’s history and society. Those who encouraged high-place worship, or even ignored it’s practice, were leaders remembered as the ones that contributed to the corruption and downfall of the nation.
Do I look to the “hills”?
The question for the 21st Century Jesus follower is, “Where are my high places?” We all have them. They’re where we naturally go for guidance, particularly for convenient and easy answers that don’t disrupt the rhythm of our life too much. Let’s face it. Seeking God can expend a great amount of energy, rattle schedules and social engagements, as well as create some awkward moments, and just be down-right difficult. And to top it off, we don’t always hear or get what we want. Our modern-day “hills” on the other hand can be fashioned to fit our personal preferences and make our spirituality work for us.
I believe that each generation has had their trendy go-to “high places.” I suppose there can be as many as there are people on the earth. It can be Public Opinion or Pop Culture. The more cerebral among us might find themselves regularly cruising the “hills” of Rationality or Science for help and guidance. There are also the “isms” that draw a broad spectrum of worshipers: Nationalism, Socialism, Capitalism, Liberalism, and Conservativism to name a few. Even Personal Feelings have become a favorite “place” to retreat as the final authority on what is right or wrong.
Positive aspects for each of the above can be argued. But it’s when we go to any one of these ahead of, or instead of, God that we sooner or later find ourselves drifting from Him and His word. Our present-day “high places,” like the ancient ones, are often more convenient than faithfully seeking the Almighty, and they provide nice, quick-access answers (albeit short-sighted) to the dilemmas we find ourselves in. To put it bluntly, even today our “hills” are doorways to idolatry.
I lift my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
My help comes from the LORD,
Who made heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot be moved;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, He who keeps Israel
Will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD is your keeper;
The LORD is your shade on your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
Nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all evil;
He will keep your life.
The LORD will keep
Your going out and your coming in
From this time forth and forevermore.
Psalm 121 (ESV)
The Alternative
Which one of our “hills” can match what the LORD promises, to do and be for us as we look to Him? These “high places” all make their own promises to us. But they are at best temporary, and ultimately empty. Granted, there is a price for making God our first and primary source of help. He demands every part of us, mind, soul, and body. However, as we surrender ourselves completely to Him, He offers Himself completely to us. Just look at what Jesus has already given.
I will still need to call on a professional plumber to fix my water lines. And professional counselors can be helpful for other struggles. Yet, God is the One who is the source of all help that lasts. And as Jesus followers, we save ourselves much futility and grow in wisdom by going to Him first.
Response:
- What might be some of the reasons that convenience is not what God is most concerned with when He calls us to look to Him first?
- What are the “high places” that I typically want to go to first when I’m needing help?
- What makes my “high places” so attractive? What do they promise me?
- Jesus, what are your promises that I can hold on to in my times of trouble?
Choosing to Not Run From Desperation
It was hot and humid. Our family of five had just joined YWAM ministry staff and purchased an old mobile home in East Texas. But, within a few weeks, the worn central air conditioner died. The repairman said it would take at least $1200 to replace it. At that time, we barely had money to put gas in our car and buy food. Doubts bubbled up and then plagued us over whether we had really heard God when we joined the mission and committed to “live by faith.” Working in YWAM was turning out to be more difficult than we thought. Everything felt so hard—living circumstances, ministry expectations, working relationships. Things were not coming together as I believed they should. My wife was giving me the look that said, “It’s the last straw. I can’t do this anymore.” And did I mention that it gets hot and humid in East Texas?
This went on for months. Self-condemnation weighed heavily. I was a terrible husband, father and missionary, probably ruining my family. I sent out a letter to our friends and supporters asking for help with our A/C unit, but in the end received only $25. And just as the heat of summer was intensifying and we were discussing leaving the mission, one more unexpected thing happened.
Read MoreChoosing Resolutions that Stick
A chance for new beginnings and making life improvements. A clean slate to start over. That’s what so many of us long for and what the new year seems to offer. The tradition of making New Year’s resolutions has been popular for quite a while. There’s evidence that the ancient Babylonians more than 4,000 years ago were using the beginning of their new year to make promises to their gods. The Romans adopted that practice, as well as Medieval knights renewing their chivalric vows. Later, Protestants started holding New Year’s Eve watch services to pray and read scripture as they committed themselves to renewed efforts of living out their Christian faith.*
Today, New Year’s Resolutions are pretty much a secular practice. Rather than seeing them as vows to a deity, most people now make promises to themselves. From what I’ve read, around 45% of Americans make resolutions at the beginning of each year. However, 80% of those who do, give up after the first week. Around 8% of those who take that first step at the beginning of the year end up achieving their goals. It appears that few of us are able to keep the promises we make to ourselves.
New Habits are Hard
Why are personal goals so often not met? For one, we tend to focus on the areas of our lives where we know some kind of change is needed. But we feel little, if any, motivation to actually ‘pay the price’ and do anything about it. I look at myself in the mirror and decide I need to lose some weight. But my immediate alarm over the poor shape I’m in recedes when I see the plate of Christmas cookies sitting on the table. Motivation is the engine for change. Tapping a reason for losing weight that stirs something more than momentary satisfaction to look good in the mirror is an important key. I need to know myself and what makes me tick.
Another reason personal goals are so regularly abandoned is that we try to go at them alone. Encouragement, support, and accountability are necessary for even the most independent souls. Involving others increases the likelihood that we’ll actually follow through.
And what’s the result of setting a goal that you don’t really want to tackle with no plan for support or accountability? Failure. Though it can be a powerful teacher and motivator at times, for many of us failure just makes us not want to set anymore goals. We easily rationalize and settle.
Read MoreChoosing a Good Reason to Celebrate Christmas
At the beginning of my senior year in high school, my family moved to another state. It was difficult for many reasons. The hardest one was that I was leaving a girlfriend (who would eventually become my wife). This was back before the internet and FaceTime. Cell phones were still a thing of the future, and long-distance calls were expensive. Yet Christine and I somehow managed to keep our relationship going, eventually attending the same college. But I can say this with conviction: long-distance relationships are difficult.
The ability to have Zoom meetings has made this present pandemic, with so much isolation, more tolerable. Yet, I still long to be with people in person. There are some things that can only be communicated, imparted, and received when we’re together in the flesh! Christine and I enjoyed our overpriced phone calls and hand-written letters during that last year of high school. But the real thrill came counting down the days to each visit when we would actually be together (and we managed several throughout that year). Those were the moments when I paid attention to every movement, posture, facial expression, fragrance. Her words and smile resonated in my mind and heart in a way that wasn’t possible over the phone. Those visits cemented our love for each other and are part of the foundation of our relationship to this day.
What a Loving Creator Will Do
God began His love affair with humans in person, in a Garden. But through our own fault, we were separated. He provided an opportunity for a long-distance relationship with willing people through laws and regulations He gave. But while these commandments revealed some aspects of God’s desires and character, intimate connection was painfully difficult to develop merely through a written code.
And at a certain point in human history, God decided it was time for a visit.
Read MoreChoosing to Live Free
“Being able to do whatever I want to do.” That’s how a young man at the mall replied to my friend who was randomly asking strangers to define “freedom.” Many of the other responses that day were similar. After later hearing all the descriptions, it struck me that I wasn’t sure I had a clear definition in my mind of this word we throw around so often. We Americans have traditionally prided ourselves in living in the “Land of the free.” So, what does that mean? And of course, it’s also an important word for Jesus followers. We’re told that “For freedom Christ has set us free” (Galatians 5:1, ESV).
An online dictionary defines freedom as “the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.” This sounds good for me personally. But when I think about others having this same ability, particularly those with below-average character, those with dark intentions, and those who just don’t like me, I’m uncomfortable. I want restraints put in place. I don’t want others doing whatever they want without hindrance because I don’t trust everyone’s heart motivations. And thankfully, there are some restraints, such as social expectation and laws.
Freedom is a strange thing. That which I passionately protect for myself, I reluctantly release to others. After all, if freedom is not understood or used rightly, it’s dangerous.
God’s Freedom
What is the Bible talking about when it says, “So if the Son [Jesus] sets you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:26, ESV)? Free from what? What has tied up humanity and left us enslaved?
Read MoreChoosing to Remember
It’s December 7th–Pearl Harbor Day. Seventy-nine years ago, the Empire of Japan launched a surprise aerial attack on the American naval base in Honolulu, Hawaii. In the harbor, 21 American ships were sunk or damaged, leaving over 2400 American servicemen killed that morning and more than 1100 wounded. The next day, the U.S. Congress declared war on Japan, and America entered World War 2. It would be a terribly bloody four years, filled with experiences that many people would want to forget.
As with the beginnings of all wars, the Pearl Harbor attack is a sobering event to reflect on. I am particularly drawn to remember it because my uncle was stationed there at the time. As a child I heard his stories of driving a military jeep while trying to outmaneuver Japanese fighter planes strafing the roads around the naval base with their machine guns. Meanwhile his newlywed bride was down at the harbor’s edge pulling sailors from the flames of the oil-coated water. These and other descriptions burned deep impressions into my mind.
Besides the historic value, what are reasons for stopping to reflect on events from the past? Philosopher George Santayana said, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” This aphorism rings true in a general sense, especially for those of us who consider ourselves history buffs. The illogical, self-centered, damaging enterprises and policies that people and governments repeat over and over is difficult to fathom. It’s as if we’re trying to NOT learn.
Remembering for Life
But for a Jesus follower, remembering carries a core significance. The night that He was betrayed and sent to the cross, Jesus passed around a cup of wine and loaf of bread for His followers to drink and eat. He then said, “Do this in remembrance of me” (Luke 22:17-20). He was giving them and all who followed a tangible activity to recall the ultimate sacrifice He was about to make. The act of remembering was to be part of the faith process for all who look to Jesus for salvation. To partake of the Lord’s Supper and not reflect on what Jesus did is to totally miss the point.
Another remembrance lesson comes through Moses in the Book of Deuteronomy. After wandering in the wilderness for 40 years, the descendants of the freed Israelite slaves were preparing to cross the Jordan River and enter the Promised Land. Moses, who would not be going with them, once again read aloud the Law given on Mount Sinai. He also added some wise commentary. As they thought about the powerful armies they were about to face, Moses called the people to remember (Deuteronomy 7:18-19). He took them back to the plagues that ruined Egypt and the parting of the Red Sea that saved them but destroyed their enemies. His summation: the same God who did all of this for you in the past is with you today. So, go out and live your life as if it’s true.
Moses also reminded these Israelites of the foolishness of their parents who disobeyed God. It was the previous generation’s behavior and attitude that kept the nation wandering for 40 years. Remembering the results of past mistakes and sin is an important discipline for everyone. It means we must give up making excuses, agree with God’s assessment of our past behavior, and receive His forgiveness. Rather than remember through a lens of guilt, we can have a new lens of wisdom. And of course, if we apply this wisdom the way it’s meant to work, we can learn from the past mistakes and misdeeds of others too.
Read More
Choose This Day 