Choosing to Not Stir God’s Jealousy
Scenario 1: An ugly thing. A man claims the sole right to his girlfriend’s attention and affection. He gets heated when she laughs with a coworker or appears to be sharing something personal with an acquaintance. He looks as if he wants to hurt someone when the FedEx delivery guy lingers a little too long at her desk. Observers shake their heads, wondering how someone can be so dense and immature. Doesn’t he know she doesn’t belong to him? Afterall, that’s not how love is supposed to work.
Or does it?
Scenario 2: A heart-breaking thing. A woman stares at her wedding ring with tears smeared across her cheeks. She replays in her mind that day when he vowed to give himself completely to her and no other for as long as they both would live. But there’s more than enough evidence now to the contrary: numerous late nights at work, passcode changed on his phone. And then there are the multiple sightings she’s been told of—dinner with her. The theater with her. Strolls in the park with her. In a surge of anger mixed with pain, she removes the ring and hurls it against the wall. Doesn’t he know that he belongs to his wife, not her? That’s how marriage is supposed to work.
Is it?
Broken Covenant
Jealousy is unpleasant and rightfully condemned in relationships—that is, unless there have been binding vows exchanged. Somehow, marriage commitment changes matters. What starts out as mutual attraction morphs into two people in love. The lovers then commit in matrimony to reserve their affection, intimacy and bodies for each other, uniting their lives in an exclusive intimacy. So, how is one supposed to feel if his partner violates this covenant?
Suppose a friend observes my wife spending “extra” time with the FedEx delivery man as he drops off packages. It starts with him lingering longer than necessary at her work to chat. Then he begins leaving little gifts on her desk, including a vase of red roses, that she seems to thoroughly enjoy. Finally, my friend happens to see them together at a coffee shop, holding hands. The friend solemnly approaches me and shares all that’s been observed. What would he think if I responded with, “Yeah, I know. But I’m sure it doesn’t mean anything. Besides, she’s old enough to make her own decisions. No big deal.”
I imagine this friend, and anyone else who heard my reaction, would question how much I love my wife. They might also begin to understand, in light of my indifference, why she finds the FedEx man attractive. On the other hand, what would be an appropriate reaction as a husband? Distress? Tears? Anger? My response to unfaithfulness reveals how much I value the relationship in the first place. Jealousy is fitting when what has been pledged to me is given to someone else. And I’m not the only one who feels that way.
Read MoreChoosing to Wear the Right Protection
It’s known as PPE: personal protection equipment. And from everything I’ve read, for our health-care workers combating COVID-19, there is a shortage of it. If you’re not familiar with what PPE looks like, Google it. The full outfit, when put on, is quite intimidating, and from what I’ve been told, not very comfortable. Yet it saves lives. Many of the deaths from the Coronavirus in the hardest-hit regions of the world have been among medical personnel who did not have the proper gear. The right protective covering can make all the difference, especially when battling an unseen enemy.
There are other invisible dangers in this world besides parasitic microbes. Yes, a pandemic is scary when you’re not sure where or how you might be infected. But what about the infestation of “spiritual viruses” that have eternal consequences for every person in the world? They threaten us daily and leave many broken, confused and completely lost. Lies that are believed. Shame and guilt that never leave. Doubts. Fears. Loneliness. A defeated heart. Pride.
The Apostle Paul laid out God’s provision for our protection against such insidious infections in Ephesians 6:10-18. This passage envisions our struggle against unseen forces as a battle. Our survival, well-being and victory depend on our making use of armor that protects us from a hidden enemy intent on our destruction, or at least our ineffectiveness. The PPE that Paul outlines follows what was ancient-Roman battle gear. But the imagery is still applicable for Jesus followers today who are aware that spiritual sickness and brokenness is just as bad as, if not worse than, physical infirmity.
What is God’s Personal Protection Equipment for us?
The Belt of Truth (Ephesians 6:14a)
A lot of us Jesus followers still carry debilitating burdens. Much of the baggage is rooted in the disinformation we believe about ourselves, the world around us and the nature and character of God. The power of a lie is that it feels true. And when we rely primarily on what feels right within to determine what is real, we are in danger of believing the wrong thing about so many life issues. Our lives easily end up stuck in places we never intended or wanted to be.
My baseline for reality must be grounded in something outside myself. Just as the other pieces of a Roman soldier’s armor connected into his belt, truth for a Jesus follower is what binds the rest of God’s PPE together. If I am believing false stuff, particularly about my identity and who God is, nothing in my faith walk is secure. Jesus said, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life” (John 14:6). He is the one who must define truth for me—what He says, what He does, what He reveals—regardless what I feel. Am I cinching the truth of Jesus more tightly around me? It holds everything else up afterall.
Read MoreChoosing to Be Brave
I woke this morning and didn’t feel like getting up. Yes, my body was sore from some recent ambitious exercise. But that wasn’t the reason I wanted to stay in bed. I realize now that I was wrestling with fear. I was feeling apprehension that this quarantine is never going to end. I was feeling anxious that we are going to run out of money. I was worried that there are things I should be doing that I’m not. I was feeling afraid that somehow I have missed my life calling, though I don’t know what that might be. Remaining under the blankets felt like the overall best option for the day.
I finally decided to get up and make coffee for my wife. While standing there grinding the beans, my thoughts turned to Psalm 46, which I have been meditating on the past few days. “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea…” I began to feel better.
Fear versus Courage
Angst lurks around every corner seeking to entrap us. Immersed in a world-wide pandemic and isolated from our normal routines, these circumstances produce fertile soil for fear of all kinds. And once we give in to one it seems that there are 20 more pushing behind it. Feelings of fear quickly multiply when we let them. But how do we stop it all? Winston Churchill supposedly said, “Fear is a reaction. Courage is a decision.”
I agree. Fear seems to pounce without warning, giving the impression that we have no option but to submit and let it maul us. Courage, however, is a choice to defy fear—act the opposite. Rarely, if ever, do I feel courageous. So, I can’t count on my feelings to come around. It was the cold decision to get out of bed this morning that challenged my paralyzing thoughts. In the same way I must actively choose to fight any fear that would try to dominate me during this season.
What’s the Choice?
The Bible is sprinkled with phrases like, “fear not” or “be not overcome by fear.” It’s usually stated by God or His representative when someone is facing bleak or evil circumstances. It also often precedes an announcement from God or one of His angels. God’s words, when rightly heard, often can cause us to shake with uneasiness. Take Luke 1:30 for example. When the angel Gabriel appeared to Mary to inform her that she had been selected to give birth to God’s Son, his words, “Do not be afraid, Mary,” were necessary. Why?
Read MoreChoosing to Take the Long Way
There’s something gratifying about finding a way to make a long journey shorter. I look to my GPS for help these days. But even when I was a kid, a shortcut was always appreciated. When I was 12, my friends showed me a quicker way to the store where we could buy candy. It happened to go through a stranger’s backyard and across his patio. I used it many times until an angry man stuck his head out a window and yelled at me, threatening to call the cops. Shortcuts may get you where you want to be sooner, but they can create unforeseen problems as well. Looking for a quicker way can also become a mindset that touches all my choices.
The temptation to reach goals faster, cut corners or bypass steps in a process shows up in a multitude of situations. Businesses consider it when they have the option of offering lower-quality products. Builders face it when they’re trying to increase their profit margin. Students have to make a choice when they discover a way to cheat on a test and get the ‘A’ with minimal studying. I fall into it when I’m assembling IKEA furniture and don’t want to take time to read the instructions. A shortcut offers a more direct path to an objective and the feeling that I have escaped unnecessary pain, suffering or drudgery. But at what hidden cost?
The Easier Path
Jesus was offered a shortcut. It was His third temptation in the desert (for thoughts on the first and second, read Choosing to Not Take the Bait and Choosing to Not Test God). We’re told in Matthew 4:8-11 that the devil took Him to a high mountain where they saw all the kingdoms of the world and said he would give them to Jesus if He would only kneel before Satan. Of course Jesus resisted and told the devil to leave, reminding him that the scriptures instruct us to worship and serve God only. While it’s no surprise that He didn’t give in to Satan, I have wondered what was so attractive about the Evil One’s offer. What could possibly tempt Jesus to bow down to the devil?
Read MoreChoosing to Put My Hope in Something Worthy
The governor of Minnesota recently announced that the number of COVID-19 cases will most likely peak in our state at the end of June. Some are forecasting that it could take 18 months to get through this. And then when I add in the economic gloom for who-knows-how-long, as well as news that some people I know have contracted the virus, I feel depression knocking at my door. This isn’t going to be a sprint, and I can’t see how it’s going to end.
“Hope” is a nice word for such a time we’re in now. But how does that word play out in this season of the coronavirus? How do we find real hope when most the news coming at us feels dark with no reliable light at the end of the tunnel?
What Does It Actually Mean?
An online dictionary defines hope as “the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.” While this is how most people generally think of hope, I have a problem with this definition. It reduces hope to a mere feeling. And if I’ve learned anything about feelings, it’s that they’re unreliable and rarely stick around. For such a time as this, I need something that works apart from my emotions and that I can rely on regardless what I’m feeling as I scan the news.
I prefer to understand hope as the belief that there is good in the future. Beliefs can be felt at times, but they aren’t dependent on feelings. To believe that there is something ahead that can give me a kind of goodness that will make my present pain and confusion melt away gives me strength to endure today. Hope is more than wishing for something to be true. It’s the confidence that the way things are now is not the way they’re going to remain.
Not Everything is Worthy
My definition, however, requires hope to be rooted in something that can deliver the goods. Sometimes hope is put in things that do not have the capacity to produce what I am truly desiring. “I hope I can make more money and finally find peace.” Or “I hope I can find a ‘significant other’ and finally feel secure.” And even, “I hope a certain person gets elected as president so I can finally feel good that my country’s problems are going to improve.” None of these, though they involve significant issues that impact my life, are worthy of my hope. They can’t deliver the bottom line of what my heart is longing for. Unfortunately, many of us have built our lives on false hopes. We believe that if this particular thing will change or can be added, then I will be able to have a better life. Yet, even if on the surface we get what we want, sooner or later it always seems to feel empty again.
Read MoreChoosing to Do My Part
I was recently asked, “Why are people who are being prayed for still getting sick and even dying?” With the COVID-19 pandemic hammering people’s sense of control of their lives, many are giving prayer a try. But what if it doesn’t work? What if I still become ill or a person I care for dies? For some, this global health crisis is putting God and prayer on trial. “If asking for the ‘Big Guy’s’ help doesn’t change anything, then I’ll just have to depend on my own abilities to protect myself and my family. And I’ll know not to count on Him.”
Unanswered prayer has been a challenge for believers for as long as there has been prayers prayed. For many, the lack of hoped-for results from their prayers indicates either God doesn’t exist, He doesn’t really care, or He just doesn’t have the ability to change anything about their problems. In many people’s minds unanswered prayer equals God is irrelevant. Yet, I believe there are other ways to understand how prayer works and what goes on in the spiritual realm.
We’re told that effective prayer requires faith (Matthew 21:22, James 5:15). We’re also told that in the spiritual realm, faith is a shield that extinguishes the fiery darts of the devil (Ephesians 6:16). Thus, I understand that faith-filled prayers can form a shield or wall that provides covering and protection in times of distress and danger. But here’s the important part: prayer is not meant to be merely an individualistic endeavor. In other words, I should not view my personal faith-filled prayer as the only thing that’s covering me. A community of shields being lifted creates a larger canopy over myself, my family, my community, my nation and the world. Our prayers are meant to intertwine and form something bigger than what I alone can produce.
Defensive Measures
In ancient warfare, soldiers typically overlapped or interlocked their shields to form a protective wall in battle. From the Greek hoplite and Roman legionary to the soldiers of Medieval armies, forming shield walls was standard practice when engaging an enemy. An individual was dependent on the overlapping shields of his fellow fighters to protect his vulnerable blind side. He in turn shielded the exposed side of the soldier next to him. I imagine such a covering could have been one of the things the Apostle Paul had in mind as he described the full armor of God in Ephesians 6.
Read MoreChoosing To Not Test God
“He will order His angels to protect you.” These words from Psalm 91 are a great comfort for many people right now. It says in verse 6, “Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday” (NLT). What a reminder that COVID-19 is not outside God’s jurisdiction. And the promises here are meant to stir up our confidence in our Heavenly Father’s love and power today in the same way this Psalm encouraged the original hearers nearly 3,000 years ago.
But interestingly enough, this Psalm has also been used as a tool of temptation. We’re told in Matthew 4 that when Jesus was tempted in the desert, Satan quoted scripture at Him. It was the second of three temptations (read post, Choosing to Not Take the Bait). The devil took Jesus to the highest point of the Jerusalem temple and dared Him to take a leap. “If you are the Son of God, jump off! For the Scriptures say, ‘He will order his angels to protect you. And they will hold you up with their hands so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone’ ” (Matthew 4:6 NLT).Sounds reasonable to me as a way to prove He’s the Son of God. But Jesus did not give in to Satan’s use of this Psalm. He responded: “The Scriptures also say, ‘You must not test the LORD your God’ ” (Matthew 4:7 NLT).
Testing God?
What is that supposed to mean? I personally have never felt the slightest temptation to throw myself off any tall edifice to see if an angel would catch me. Curious? Maybe. Temptation? Definitely not. So, how am I to relate this incident to my own life? Is it testing God when I stupidly get myself into a dangerous situation and expect Him to snap His fingers and get me out?
No. I think there’s much more to it.
Read MoreChoosing to Love, John 3:16 Style
I first wrote the words “I love you” in a note to a girl when I was in the 5th grade. It felt good. And the feeling was even better when I received a note back with the same words. A core belief took shape in me. From that point on, I understood love as something that was meant to make me feel good. Of course, my 5th-grade love affair didn’t last long (I was too shy to actually talk to her). But the impression that love is defined by how another person makes me feel, stuck.
And then I encountered God.
Believing in His unconditional love felt good too. But He asked me to love others in the same way—even those I don’t like. How was that possible? If I didn’t have “the feeling,” how was I to love them?
Later in life, I remember reading through the book of Isaiah, grimacing over the descriptions of God’s loathing of sin and what it has done to His creation. Where was His love in all this? No good feelings here. It felt as though divine frustration was ready to destroy everything! But then the words of John 3:16 pushed into my mind. And I was struck with the awareness that even with God’s hatred of evil He longs to find ways to express His love and affection for those He has created. The familiar Bible verse declares God’s love to be an action, not a feeling! It shows how far His love is willing to go to deal with the sin problem.
But how does this change how I love?
Read MoreChoosing to Not Take the Bait
In every house I’ve lived, sooner or later, we have to deal with pests. We’ve battled everything from snakes to bats, all looking to make a home with us. But of course, the most common little irritating critter has been the mouse. Unfortunately for him, but thankfully for us, its downfall is always its palate. I can drop a tidbit of something savory onto a trap and be guaranteed to seduce and eliminate any rodent within sniffing distance. What dumb little critters they are that let the growling in their stomachs obliterate their ability to discern their impending destruction.
But stupidity moves up the predatory chain as well. Depending on what my mind, emotions or body is craving, I easily ignore or minimize the potential consequences of my choices. It’s called temptation. And its allure defies my rational thought and spiritual values. My feelings don’t actually catch up with what’s truly at stake until I taste the bait and experience the pain of the sprung trap. And even then, if I don’t always learn my lesson.
In case you’re not sure where temptation leads, the Bible is clear: “Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death” (James 1:14-15 NLT). Yikes! It’s the starting point of a very nasty ending and nothing to mess around with—if I’ll take it to heart. For a Jesus follower, it’s vital to recognize what tempts me to disobey God and wisely install defenses against such deadly enticements.
Fight It!
Jesus urged His followers to take radical preventative steps, saying we should identify the sources of our temptations and sin and gouge them out or slice them off (Matthew 5:29-30). He metaphorically speaks of our eyes and our hands as being the causes, but of course we all know that our physical body parts are not where temptations begin. They take root somewhere deep within, among our insecurities and fears and they only use our body parts to accomplish their purpose—our destruction. Jesus says don’t coddle any of it. Find their points of supply and their triggers and cut them off.
To make matters even more difficult, we have a spiritual enemy who uses temptation quite skillfully to accomplish his goals. Satan is also known as the Tempter. He has observed our habits and weaknesses enough to know exactly where each of us are vulnerable. His suggestions and urgings always promise relief, comfort and a way out of difficult situations but at the cost of compromising or breaking covenant and fellowship with God. We are instructed to resist him (read post on Choosing to Be a Fighter). But how?
Jesus, Our Example
Temptation is so common for all people, it’s considered part of the human condition. The Bible tells us that although Jesus was God in human flesh, He was still tempted in every way. And yet He did not sin (Hebrews 4:15). This is good news! It tells us that just because we experience temptation does not necessarily mean we have sinned (read post on “the Problem”). It most certainly means each of us are human. But Jesus provides guidance for how a human who is committed to honor and love God is to respond when tempted.
The Bible tells us that the Spirit of God led Jesus into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil (Matthew 4:1). After not eating for 40 days, Satan said to Him, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become loaves of bread.” What’s so bad about that? What was the real temptation here? I don’t think we’re being told that it’s wrong to eat when we’re hungry. Jesus’ response, however, gives a clue. His comeback is, “No, the scriptures say, ‘people do not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” He was quoting Deuteronomy 8:3 from the Old Testament.
Jesus recognized what Satan was trying to do. It was His submission to the Spirit of God that had led Him into the wilderness and into a time of fasting. The enemy, on the other hand, was enticing Jesus to draw His strength, energy and purpose from physical stuff He could control rather than from relationship with the Father through the Holy Spirit. Jesus was offered immediate relief and satisfaction in His physical body along with personal assurance that He was the powerful Son of God by performing a simple trick. Instead, Jesus chose the longer route to comfort and relief by reminding Satan and Himself where His true, long-term strength came from—obedience to and fellowship with the Father.
What does this mean for us?
Temptations of the flesh can be so alluring. They urge us to prioritize the fulfillment of our mental, emotional and physical desires and needs over what God has already told us (read post on Gluttony). The pathway to satisfaction looks so clear in the moment of temptation. Yes, I will have to minimize or completely ignore some of the things God has spoken to me, but surely He too wants me to find relief in this situation. God will understand.
Such temptations exalt our personal feelings and perspective as the final judge of what’s good for us, above the word of God already given. Jesus cut right to the heart of it: my nourishment for life comes from what God says to me, he proclaimed with His actions. We must meditate on and nourish our souls with what He shows us here so we can be ready when Satan or even our own desires seek to ensnare us.
The trap can be baited with the promise of comfort, security, excitement, enriched ego or feeling more alive. And it may take the form of food, entertainment, porn, self-pity, approval from others, workaholism or any other indulgence that offers relief and satisfaction apart from God’s word. But the end is always the same. We accept the enticement, and sooner or later the triple hammer of guilt, shame and confusion pin us to the ground.
But fleshly temptations need not always defeat a follower of Jesus. It depends on how badly you want to overcome them. If you’re ready to cut off the sources of temptation or invite a new level of accountability into your life, things can change. Temptation does not have to automatically equal defeat. You don’t have to take the bait. Jesus wants to show you how.
In the next two posts, we’ll look at what we can learn from the other two temptations Jesus experienced in the wilderness.
Response:
- To which temptations of the flesh am I most vulnerable? Stimulation of my body? Stimulation of my emotions? Or, stimulation of my mind? Where do I end up when I give in to them?
- Jesus quoted scripture when He was tempted. How prepared am I to fight temptation the way He did? What do I need to do to better arm myself?
- Who can I let into my life that can provide accountability for how I respond to fleshly temptations?
- How much do I really believe God to be my source of comfort and satisfaction? What can I do to begin to get these needs met from Him?
- Jesus, how do you want to meet the deep desires of my heart?
Choosing to Be a Fighter
Though I could be quiet and reserved as a child, I wasn’t passive. I got into quite a few fights—the kind that involved punching, slapping, kicking and bloody noses. Before you form a mental picture of me as a delinquent or hooligan, I can honestly say all the incidents were me against a bully and usually on behalf of another, typically smaller, person. I even hit a girl one time (not all bullies are males). And I didn’t always come out on the winning side.
I now look back and like to think of myself more as a resister. I didn’t, and I still don’t, like to see people get pushed around by oppressors and tormentors.
The Bible tells us to resist the devil and he will flee from us (James 4:7). Whether you think about having an invisible enemy who bullies you or not, the scriptures have a lot to say about such a being. And we are instructed in more than one place to resist, stand against and wrestle the spiritual forces that are harassing, confusing and oppressing us. The Bible does not call us to be passive when it comes to spiritual opposition. It does, however, instruct us to know who our enemy is and who it is not. We are not to wrestle “flesh and blood” (Ephesians 6:12). How often I forget that people are not the ones I’m fighting, but my struggle is against evil spirits of the unseen world that seek to twist and destroy my world. Through Jesus I have been given the authority to stand against all that is thrown at me (Ephesians 6:11, Colossians 2:14-15).
But I have to continually remind myself that I must choose the attitude of a fighter. This does not mean I am belligerent and testy with anyone, for no person or group of people are my real enemies. But it means I am alert and never surprised when I experience opposition, conflict, strife, contention, animosity, disputes, hostility, hassles—you get the idea.
Though clashes may come through other people or even my own thoughts, it is the invisible enemy behind others’ behavior and attitudes or the voices in my head that I must learn to resist. As a follower of Jesus, I can expect attacks and challenges in specific areas of my life because the enemy knows well the strategic points that my life and purpose in Jesus rest upon. If he can intimidate me to back down in these crucial areas of my life, he wins. By identifying them and readying my mind and heart for battle, I can have the advantage of not being caught off guard when forces of darkness strike.
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Choose This Day 