Choosing to Learn from Others

“Experience is the best teacher.” I have heard this statement in multiple forms over the years and can attest to the truth it contains. There are some life lessons it seems cannot be taught from a book or a lecture. How does a person learn patience or endurance? How does one learn the true weight of grief or how to forgive another from the heart? And we can hear someone preach every day that money cannot buy happiness. But for it to truly sink in someone must first feel the emptiness of putting one’s hope in possessing material power.

Yet, this can be taken to an extreme. Some, particularly those categorized as youth, often demand they be left alone to learn from their own experiences. Picture eyes rolling as an old person gives a teen warnings and “helpful ideas” for how to do something or how to avoid some unnecessary pain.

Learning from others who have gone before us has usually been understood as wisdom.

“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but a companion of fools will suffer harm” (Proverbs 13:20 ESV).

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17 ESV).

“Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future” (Proverbs 19:21 ESV).

Become Wiser

There are multiple ways to do this if someone is truly interested in growing in wisdom. Learn to listen more than you speak. Reflect on what you hear. Push advice out to its logical conclusion and imagine where you might end up if you apply what someone is telling you. Choose to cultivate humility: I understand this to mean always viewing myself as a learner, regardless my age, my experience, and my IQ. And as a starting point, I should ask God to teach me what the scriptures call “the fear of the Lord.” Proverbs 9:10 says, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight” (ESV).

On a practical level, I need to find people wiser than myself in areas where I am weak. I need to hang out with them. Just because I know a lot about one topic or aspect of life does not mean I am an expert on all things. I have come to see that people younger than me, with less formal education, and from other cultures all have insight and understanding that I am lacking. Wisdom tells me to swallow my pride, shut up, listen, and learn. And maybe in the process I’ll be asked to share a few things I have learned from my life experiences.

Learning from Other People’s Stories

Another practical option is to read biographies. There is so much sensible wisdom to take in from observing other people’s life stories. I have not read nearly enough. People who have gone before me have wisdom and guidance to impart. Interestingly, some of the most powerful learning moments come from studying the mistakes and sins of another and seeing how they play out. Rather than merely judging other people’s failures, I can take the opportunity to recognize where I could fall into similar snares.

One example is from a biography I read years ago about the revolutionary Che Guevara. As a young man, he was so disturbed by the poverty and injustices he witnessed in many Latin American nations, he joined the Castro brothers in overthrowing the corrupt regime in Cuba. But, his zeal for “justice” led to much violence and questionable executions of political adversaries. I remember thinking, as I read his story, how my good intentions could also easily morph into disregarding the very values I started out with and justifying it all the way. Yes, I can learn from a communist revolutionary, just not necessarily the lessons he would have chosen for me to learn from him.

Even more ancient stories have much to offer to our 21^st Century lives. I just finished reading about the life of Julius Caesar by the ancient Greek historian, Plutarch. I was struck by how Caesar used relationships to manipulate his way into places of power. Yet in the end, he could not see how some of the people he trusted most had turned against him. His hubris blinded him until it was too late and he was murdered by so-called friends. Here is another lesson warning me of the subtlety of pride and its self-destructive end.

Ultimately, we do well when we learn to listen to the stories all around us. Those of your neighbor, co-worker, and family member all contain nuggets of wisdom, guidance, and warning if we listen with a discerning heart.

The Source of ALL Wisdom

“History repeats itself” is a common phrase I hear, especially when we see people and communities making the same mistakes year after year, generation after generation. But it doesn’t have to be that way. If I demand to learn EVERYTHING through personal experience, refusing the “authority” of those who have gone before me, I’m a victim of pride, doomed to repeat the stupidity of those around me as well as the hubris of every generation. The Bible would also call me a fool.

Be a learner. Don’t let yourself think you know all there is to know on a certain topic. Let God open your eyes to all the opportunities to become wiser. Many of those avenues for growing in wisdom will be through tapping into people around you; listening more than talking; looking at the fruit of people’s lives rather than the attractiveness of their ideas; and asking God to teach you how to care more about what He thinks of you and the world than what the people around you think. After all, He is the source of wisdom.

Response:

• How easily can I learn from others?
• From which people or circumstances have I decided I cannot learn anything? How might this be blinding me from opportunities to become wiser?
• What is my definition of pride? How well can I recognize it in myself? Why is it so much easier to see it in others and despise them for it rather than recognizing and dealing with it in my own life?
• Jesus, teach me to be a learner.