Choosing a God Who Knows How to Love
I was attending college in Southern California when I had my first discussion with a Muslim about the nature of God. He was from Iran, highly intelligent and very polite. After listening to my stumbling words trying to explain the Holy Trinity, using my Sunday-school knowledge, he asked a one-word question: “Why?” I had learned the quaint analogy of the Trinity being like the three components of shell, yoke and white making one egg. There was also the one compound of water expressed in its three forms of liquid, steam, and ice. But no one had ever explained to me WHY the Trinity was important for my understanding of God. Was it? Or did it merely operate as a theoretical abstraction that needlessly divided people? I was speechless. My friend smiled but was kind and let the matter drop.
Several years later as my relationship with God was deepening, I came back to this topic. Besides Muslims, I had since bumped into Unitarians and Jehovah’s Witnesses who ridiculed the absurdity of worshiping “three gods.” It was intellectually embarrassing. Was this Christian doctrine necessary for my faith? It certainly wasn’t convenient for my logic. I needed to explore it in earnest.
Read MoreChoosing Lasting Satisfaction
As a Follower of Jesus, is it wrong to ask God to fulfill my desires? I have been asked this question more than once. There are two extreme responses that are often associated with Christianity. One comes out of the God-wants-you-to-be-happy theology and therefore, of course, wants to satisfy every desire. The other is more related to Eastern asceticism, labeling the pursuit of fulfilled desires as a distraction that leads to suffering and deceitfully draws us away from God.
I usually offer a short (and unsatisfying) answer: it depends.
So, maybe a more helpful question is, how do I decide if the desire I have is a good one? And how do I go about truly fulfilling it?
The Bible talks a lot about desires, and I have written before on the topic (read “Choosing to Desire Well”). Here I am writing about it again. I never seem to get away from thinking about how integral desires are to how we do life. Whether we are always aware of it or not, we make choices and pursue our paths according to whatever object or goal our desires have zeroed-in on. Thus, the Bible warns us of fraudulent desires (Ephesians 4:22) and even ones that lead to death (James 4:2). But it also informs us that there are desires that lead us to good places (Proverbs 11:23) and ones that God longs to fulfill (Psalm 37:4; 145:16).
Read MoreChoosing to Release My Pain
As a kid, I avoided certain people. They were the kind that didn’t seem to have the capacity to endure the messiness and clumsiness of children. They couldn’t see the intentions of little ones when something got spilt or broken. They were the kind who yelled or growled when there was a bit too much noise. They complained when kids walked on their lawn, left fingerprints on their windows, created stains on the carpet, or ran through hallways in church. Unfortunately for me, I couldn’t always avoid them. At times it felt as if they were stalking me, pointing accusing fingers, wishing aloud for the good ol’ days when children were seen but not heard. In general, they lamented how poorly they were treated by everybody. It wasn’t till I got older that I learned a good descriptor for this type of person: bitter.
Getting older myself, I now sometimes wonder what can keep me from becoming like one of those crotchety elders whose company I so much wanted to escape. It’s not as simple as I once assumed. For I can feel within myself attitudes or thoughts that remind me of those despised ancient ones. When I feel irritated that those around me don’t see things the right way – the way I do. When I want to blame the world’s messes on all the people out there who know nothing but at the same time overlook my own ignorance. When I don’t want to let go of the hurt and offenses committed against me and those I care about. When I feel like God has forgotten me and doesn’t seem to be concerned if I hurt or wallow in bewilderment. When pain and confusion get the better of me and all I want to do is spill it out and force others to feel it too.
The hard truth: I have enormous potential for becoming a bitter old man.
It Can Take Over
No one turns into a rancorous, vitriolic, distasteful human being overnight. It seeps into an individual little by little, choice by choice. I know of no one who has made it their life ambition to become that person everyone wants to avoid. But bitterness, nevertheless, shows up and produces more fruit like itself until it takes over and rules a personality.
Read MoreChoosing an Atoning Sacrifice
I wasn’t more than ten years old when I watched my grandfather butcher a pig. Contrary to what some might imagine, I don’t think I was emotionally damaged by it. Sure, it was gruesome and bloody. But I also remember thinking that this is how we get food. I liked meat. I liked the idea of nourishing my body. And that was enough for my kid’s way of thinking to justify the act and not blame my grandfather for any cruelty.
Years later I learned that there was a lifestyle called vegetarianism. A classmate confronted me with the horrors of murdering living creatures for human consumption. I was troubled. Was it wrong to kill an animal for food? And then I read the novel When the Legends Die in one of my high-school English classes. It told the story of a young Native American struggling to navigate the traditional ways of his parents with the practices of white men that had been thrust upon him. At one point, the protagonist returns to the forest to hunt like his father had. After killing a deer, he thanks it for its sacrifice so that he, a man, can eat and live.
Weird to pray to a dead animal, but something about it left an imprint on my imagination.
Death for the Innocent?
After all these years, this scene is the only one I remember from that book. It helped me visualize and articulate a personal proverb that was forming in my mind and that I’ve never forgotten: sacrifice precedes life, and thanksgiving is always the right response.
Read MoreChoosing to Love What is True
I have been a fan of J.R.R. Tolkien’s work for quite a while. Not only do I enjoy reading and rereading his stories of Middle Earth Hobbits, Elves, and Dwarves, but I find snatches of insight about his personal life, faith, and philosophy intriguing and inspiring as well. Recently I read on an online site the following statement: “JRR Tolkien refused to let his books be read out loud to people until after his death, preferring to keep his words ‘on the page.’”
This fascinated me. Since he was a philologist (someone who studies the history of languages), I knew from other reading that Tolkien had picked up some quirks from his studies, particularly from Medieval Norse languages and their accompanying myths. He was fluent in the Anglo-Saxon language, also known as Old English, and studied ancient Finnish. He also strongly disliked allegory and bristled at the suggestion that The Lord of the Rings was a parallel retelling of the first and second world wars. It is even said that he had a near-fanatical love of plant life, refusing to cut down or even prune overgrown trees. He was a creative man of strong and sometimes eccentric opinions.
Thus, this latest anecdote stirred a delighted sense of wonder. What might have been his thought processes motivating such reverence for written words (he was Roman Catholic) that he desired his own to be read silently?
I wanted to know more.
OUCH!
The most interesting thing I ended up learning about this, however, was that it simply was not true. Tolkien never said such a thing. He had no problem with his books being read out loud. I now believe the source I got it from meant the whole thing as a joke.
But why did I find this fabrication so fascinating?
I think its subtle quirkiness made it believable in my mind. I could somehow see such a creative man saying something like this. I knew, after all, that he wasn’t afraid to consider things that flowed against the popular current. Yes, this particular view was very odd. But it felt true. There was part of me that actually wanted it to be real.
I have often heard it said that a good lie is 90% truth. Lies aren’t useful if they’re not believable and at least somewhat attractive.
And so, I’m once again pondering the nature of deception.
Read MoreChoosing to Drop the Mask
Who wouldn’t want an opportunity like Bilbo the Hobbit? The thrills of having a magic ring. Oh, the mischievous things that could be done! In addition, there would be the tantalizing comfort that comes with the ability to turn invisible, hiding from the prying eyes of goblins, evil wizards, and judgmental or annoying people.
And there is Harry Potter with his invisibility cloak. Without it he would have been terribly vulnerable, unable to fool Lord Voldemort or slip away unseen from those dangerous predicaments.
The idea of being able to become invisible simply by putting on a piece of clothing or jewelry is more than mere childish fantasy or silly imaginations.
Many adults would happily embrace such a power.
Why?
Because there are many times in a given day, we all would love to simply hide.
Whether the desire to not be seen is brought on by fear, embarrassment, shyness, guilt, or humiliation, a hiding place is something every human, sooner or later, seeks. Ever since our ancestors, Adam and Eve, disobeyed their Maker and realized they were naked, we all have looked for ways to cover up. If not with invisibility, then a disguise or some kind of camouflage (fig leaves?). The goal always is to conceal that part of ourselves we don’t want others looking at.
Sure, there is danger out there. And hiding can help us feel safe, for the time being, from the vicious orcs or wicked sorcerers. But generally, we just don’t want others to see what’s inside, those vulnerable, guilt-ridden rooms of our hearts. We all have those deep internal chambers that if exposed will be viewed unfavorably by others. Or they will get us into some kind of trouble.
But we mainly hide those places within where it just feels there is something wrong with us.
Read MoreChoosing to Let Desperation Work
Not too long ago I had a conversation with a person who struggles with addiction. He told me how he has a goal of developing more self discipline in his life. But he finds that he always fails in his efforts. He feels that he can’t stick with anything for very long. I affirmed this desire to develop a more disciplined life and then probed a bit into how he has pursued this goal in the past. We talked about what he might do differently going forward. I then asked him how faith might be helpful. He visibly bristled and his tone became sharper.
“I’ve tried Christianity,” he spat. “But I just can’t meet all the expectations that are put on me. And of course, the Bible says that God will love me only if I can meet all of His perfect expectations.” All this was said while rolling his eyes and shaking his head.
I didn’t get a chance to adequately respond to his summation of Christianity and God’s expectations. Time ran out and he had to go. But his words got me thinking about how so many people see God. Our view of the Almighty so profoundly affects how we choose to live our lives. Somewhere in this man’s history, he had picked up the message that God is a fussy rule keeper and is not really interested in helping a person who is not already near perfect. Like so many, he sees humans as being on their own while God watches with His arms crossed, scowling in judgment.
More Information?
Of course, I think this man has it all wrong. That is not the God I have come to know and love. But what does it take for a person to change his or her view of God? I have been asking myself this question for many years.
Read MoreChoosing to Trust God’s Way
We have just finished Holy Week, and I am still reflecting on what it all means. Resurrection Sunday morning provides some hearty food for thought, considering that the followers of Christ are promised to one day experience being resurrected with new incorruptible bodies themselves. Good Friday is a bit more challenging. The Cross tends to stir offense or ridicule. But each one of Jesus’ followers have to wrestle with why he had to die a bloody death. What does it mean that Christ died for me? Christ’s death and resurrection have been and always will be the core of the Christian faith. How one responds to them determines what kind of Christ follower a person really is.
But what about that first day of Holy Week? We call it Palm Sunday. It has always been a bit of a mystery to me. Even as a child, I noticed the incongruence of Jesus being hailed the King of the Jews by applauding crowds on this day only to be arrested, beaten, mocked and killed as a criminal a few days later. Why is recognizing this day significant? Why should we still celebrate it? And what application does it carry for our daily lives today?
Read MoreChoosing the Right Memory
I forgot a friend’s name the other day. For a few moments I couldn’t recall that word that represents someone I care about. It should be so familiar to me. I felt ashamed. Fortunately, the lapse didn’t last long. But moments like these make me wonder if this means age is catching up with me. Or am I just not thinking about that person enough to keep his name fresh and alive in my memory?
Whatever the reason, forgetfulness is becoming more common. Besides people’s names, there are those book or movie titles that stay on the tip of my tongue, but I cannot bring them fully up from my memory. Jokes or stories I start to tell but then realize I can’t recall the details. It’s often a matter of focus. I can be intent on one subject while being asked about another and find it difficult to shift efficiently. Sometimes I can feel the memory I’m pursuing swirling away like a feather in a gust of wind. And the greater effort I give to grab it, the more elusive it becomes. I don’t remember it always being this way. But maybe that’s just another memory problem.
Perhaps it is age, after all.
But, I feel there can be some forgetfulness that has nothing to do with aging. How often have I forgotten God, His power, His goodness, His mercy? Particularly when I was younger, all it took was a shortfall of money, a miserable sickness, an expectation not met, or a relational hurt. My focus would be on myself, my fears, my anger so much that it felt as if everything God had promised or provided in the past never existed.
Yes, there is a forgetfulness that has nothing to do with age.
But it’s an Age-Old Problem
The irony of it all is that I so easily forget the good stuff God has done while never seeming to lose the memories of the not-so-good stuff that has happened. Left unchecked, fearful and painful memories overpower the pleasant and life-giving ones and then dominate my life. I have to choose which are going to stay in focus and get the most attention.
Read MoreChoosing Risky Love
I was 19 years old working a summer job between college semesters painting our little town’s city hall. It was a season of experiencing new life in my spiritual walk with Jesus. One day, I was overjoyed to have a conversation with a local business owner next to the government building, in which he expressed thanksgiving for all that Jesus had done in his life. I was encouraged and shared a bit of my spiritual journey. He seemed encouraged as well.
The next day, as I was high up on some scaffolding, I overheard the businessman’s conversation with a customer below in his shop. The windows were open. The exchange got heated. The businessman’s volume increased, and his language became abusive, calling the customer many foul things. I was devastated over the behavior of my Christ-following brother. And for the rest of the day and all that night I couldn’t get out of my mind all the things the man had said.
In the middle of the night, the thought occurred to me that I should talk to him about what I had heard and how it had affected me. I did not like that thought. The next morning and all through my day of work, the thought would not leave. Just before going home, I happened to see him. Trembling, I told him what I had heard and how poorly I thought it had represented Jesus. The man looked at me in shock and was speechless for a few moments. He finally waved his hand, muttering “nobody’s perfect” and walked away. For the rest of the summer, I never saw him again. I suspect he made it a point to avoid me.
Because I care?
To this day, I can’t say for sure that talking to him about his behavior was the right thing to do. I only know that I was hoping (rather naively I suppose) that he could be a true Christian brother and we could encourage and challenge one another in our faith throughout those long summer days. What I am certain of today is that there are always going to be conversations to be had that are very hard. And I have wrestled with the question over the years whether or not they’re worth having. As a husband, father, son, brother, friend, and ministry leader, why bother with bringing up difficult things with people, especially with people I want to have a good relationship with? Why not work to avoid what’s uncomfortable and “keep the peace?”
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Choose This Day 