Choosing to Love God First
There are a lot of people I don’t like. In fact, there are some, if I had it my way, I would avoid completely. They either believe differently than I do and make me feel uncomfortable; they are interested in things I cannot relate to; or they have rude habits that irritate and make me look for an exit. Many people in this world make “loving my neighbor” a real chore, if not completely impossible.
To be honest, I don’t feel any love for most the people I see walking the streets. I particularly feel a void of affection for other drivers on the road (after all, they’re mostly idiots, right?). Politicians and public personas tend to push me into a judgmental attitude. The personalities projected on social media often strike me as fake. And the arguments I observe breaking out on the internet typically feel like nothing more than image polishing and virtue signaling. As I grow older and follow the twisted patterns of people’s behavior, I fear I am turning into a cynical judge of all things that are human (baa humbug)!
It’s a Command!
And yet, Jesus tells me that the Second-Greatest Commandment for His followers is to love my neighbor as I love myself (Matthew 22:39). When someone asked Him, “Who is my neighbor?” obviously looking for a loophole (which is what I would have done), Jesus told the story we know as the Good Samaritan. The conclusion was that the Samaritan — despised and avoided by all Jews at the time — was The Neighbor. The one nobody liked and viewed as coming from the problem people of their land was the example given of who Jesus followers are to love (Luke 10:25-37).
Ouch!
This feels offensive and doesn’t fit my sentiments of love. So, what am I going to do if I seriously want to follow Jesus? First I will clarify what I believe Jesus meant by love. What is it, and what it is not?
Read MoreChoosing Within Limits
I have been an on and off fan of Star Trek (and its various versions) over the years. As a kid, the alien enemies scared me: Klingons with their cold, hard, and aggressive logic; the emotional paranoia of the Romulans; and the greed and cowardice of the Ferengi. All of them, I learned to laugh at as I grew older. But the one group that still sends a chill through me is the Borg. They are the race of beings that has incorporated technological enhancements with the physical body, turning themselves into a single living machine controlled with a common consciousness in the Queen Borg. They can live forever, and no one can really stop them.
Now we are seeing science fiction and present-day reality beginning to entwine. The 1999 film The Matrix presented what felt like the very unrealistic idea that machines could eventually dominate and enslave humans. Before that was The Terminator, again the machines taking on their own life and will. Beyond thrilling entertainment, such story telling gets us talking about questions I never heard my grandparents’ generation asking. What does it mean to be human? At what point does technology begin to dehumanize us? And even deeper, just because we can, does it mean we should? Where are the boundaries? And, should there be any limits put on human ambition to take control of our own existence?
Right now, ChatGPT (artificial intelligence) and all its technological cousins seem to be enhancing our lives. But the questions persist: where is it all taking us? Is it leading us to a better place? Are limits always bad? And where is God in all our human advancements?
A lot of questions!
Read MoreChoosing to Start with Faith
The well-known British philosopher and atheist, Bertrand Russell (1872-1970), was supposedly asked later in his life how he would explain his beliefs if God confronted him after he died. It is said the man quickly replied, “Not enough evidence, God! Not enough evidence.”
I have often wondered how much evidence it would take to convince him, or any atheist, of God’s existence. What kind of proof is necessary to satisfy anybody that there is a personal God? It seems that belief in a deity or some kind of spiritual reality is more a matter of human will than anything else. If I do not want there to be a God, then I am likely to find the means to explain away any “evidence” that might be presented. But, if I do desire a God (of any kind), I am apt to see all kinds of things and happenings as evidence pointing to the likelihood there is a Supreme Spiritual Being and reality outside myself.
The choice of faith makes the difference.
But What Am I Assuming?
The word “faith” often gets a bad rap. It is typically relegated to the ranks of the unthinking, naive, and even disingenuous. Mark Twain, the famous 19th Century American author supposedly said, “Having faith is believing in something you know ain’t true.” Whether or not this was his final conclusion, his statement sums up how many people pass faith off as insensible and even moronic.
Beliefs and faith (or lack of faith) run very closely with what we presuppose — those attitudes of the heart from which the process of belief begins. If I assume that miracles cannot happen (because it offends my intellect), then I will naturally conclude, when reading the Bible, that a good part of it is imaginary and made up. On the other hand, if I assume miracles are possible (because I sense there is much in the world that my little brain cannot understand), I can therefore write off much of atheist Richard Dawkins’ writings as shallow propaganda. My starting point determines the direction I go and where I end up.
Read MoreChoosing to Go Slow
So much of the truth revealed through the scriptures is counterintuitive. At face value it does not make sense. One of the results is that we have to stop, think about it, and go a little deeper. For example:
- To save your life, you must lose it.
- To live, you must die.
- To get, you must give.
- To genuinely love, there are things you must hate.
And there is one that is not explicitly found in the scriptures, but nevertheless is in there:
- To go farther you must go slower.
Yes! In the big picture of life “slow” is good and often the absolute best way to do things.
In our culture, here in the USA, we admire speed and often exalt it as the highest value. If something can be done faster, it’s better.
- Why do some of us push the accelerator to the floor to get to the next traffic light?
- Why are many restaurants rated according to how quickly they deliver food to our tables or to our doors?
- Why do we look for the shortest check-out line?
- Why are computers and phones praised and marketed according to their speed connecting us to the internet?
Go ahead; I bet you can add many more to this list.
Sometimes the preference for swiftness is to save money. Completing a four-year college degree in three years rather than six has strong monetary motivation. But most often the issue is that I just do not like waiting. I want to see things happen sooner rather than later. Waiting is another topic that I have written on more than once (Choosing to Wait). Here I want to talk about how valuing the slowness of a process can enrich our lives and better prepare us for eternity.
Read MoreChoosing to NOT Cheapen God’s Reputation
Online debates typically resolve nothing. And yet they continue and get ever more heated. There was one I saw awhile back that bantered back and forth over whether it was okay to say, “Oh, my God” as an exclamation. The discussion included strong opinions on how wrong it is to exclaim “Jesus Christ” when a person is not referring to Him at all but only expressing emotion. There were multiple references to the 10 Commandments, particularly the third one concerning not taking God’s name in vain. One comment, however, summed up many people’s view: “Let’s not make a big deal of this [taking God’s name in vain]. I’m sure God is secure enough that he can handle mere words that come out of people’s mouths.”
Mere words?
I agree with this comment in that God is secure in Himself, the most secure being in all of existence. But I disagree that the third commandment, which says we should not take God’s name in vain, is not a big deal. Even though the 10 Commandments are found in the Old Testament (Exodus 20), Jesus affirmed every one of them in one way or another. He even added His own commentary to some, making them even stronger. So, a Jesus follower needs to understand the heart behind these commandments because they seem to have been important to Him. Even in the prayer He modeled for us we say, “Our Father who is in heaven, hallowed (or holy) be your name.”
Read MoreChoosing My Habits
It was my high school Spanish teacher who challenged an old axiom I had heard all my life.
“Practice makes perfect.”
This little phrase had been a mantra that I had assumed must be in the Bible somewhere because I heard it so much. It was the challenge used to keep me at my piano lessons (which I eventually quit). It promised great results for my plans to become a famous artist (which I gave up on), and pushed me in sports (for which I eventually lost interest). Consistent practice was hard. But it was supposedly the pathway for developing good habits and accomplishing all the things I dreamed about!
Of course, the other side of the coin is true also: practice what you claim to value (even when you don’t feel it). Most good fruit in a person’s life results from good practices established that turn into good habits. Practice matters. We cannot honestly separate what we habitually do from who we are.
My Spanish teacher, however, popped the bubble. She said, “Only perfect practice makes perfect.” Her point, I assume, was that if I practice Spanish without correcting errors of pronunciation or syntax, I’m only reinforcing mistakes and will forever sound like a careless, ignorant Gringo. In other words, mediocre practice produces mediocre results.
It’s Too Hard
She was right, of course. But I took this rebuke to heart in the opposite direction she intended. It didn’t motivate me to study Spanish. Why even try? I knew I was not self-disciplined, and this language thing was not coming naturally. Disciplined practice was suddenly overrated! This thought became a foundation stone for giving up on many other practices for many years to come. “If I can’t do it perfectly, why even try?” But ironically, I was living out her words in a way I didn’t realize.
I was practicing and becoming very proficient in defeatism and making excuses. For a while, though I did not recognize it as such, this was the “disciplined” mindset to which I gave myself. I felt that there was nothing I could do to a standard of perfection. Interestingly, there is a body of psychological studies behind these kinds of mindsets and how habits (good and bad) are formed. It can be quite interesting. . . and spiritual.
Read MoreChoosing to NOT Feel Sorry for Myself
Ever been treated badly? Abandoned? Insulted? Ignored? Forgotten? Replaced? Taken for granted? Or just feel like you never get a break and nothing goes your way?
Join the club!
I have felt the sting (and sometimes the gut-punch) of all these abuses and misfortunes in my lifetime. I have not always responded in the healthiest way: anger, accusation, and resentment have been common. But my favorite go-to for a good part of my life has been the cuddly-soft emotional blanket of self-pity.
The word “pity” comes from a Latin word that means “dutiful respect” or “devotion.” Its roots are closely related to the English word, “piety.” To show pity to others fundamentally refers to “dutifully showing respect” for the pain or suffering of those around us. But when this pity turns inward, we “dutifully” give ALL our attention and energy to the care and comfort of OUR OWN wounds and bruised feelings. The more we indulge in this type of “self-care,” the more it becomes an engrained pattern. We have less time and energy to direct compassion toward others as well as to respond to what God desires to show us.
Read MoreChoosing to Obey
Often, the secret to success with any endeavor is learning the basics of a needed task and trusting the tried-and-true process. I believe this can apply to almost any skill. I remember my dad teaching me to wash a car: always start at the top and work down. That basic idea seems to work well for almost any type of cleaning.
Learning to drive a car at age 16, I thought I was a pro within the first couple days. Practicing regulating my speed and judging braking distance felt too basic after my first week behind the wheel. I was itching for “Indy 500” experiences. However, after nearly running off the road while taking corners, almost rear-ending cars in front of me, and having a head-on collision on a dirt road, I finally adjusted my thinking. Maybe it would be good to master the fundamentals before testing how fast I could drive.
Another example was learning to write. My teachers provided the parameters and rules of composition. Correct spelling, no run-on sentences, organized paragraphs, proper punctuation, etc. But it all felt so restricting. I had story ideas and deep thoughts that I needed to get on a page. My teachers, however, were turning papers back to me with big red question marks next to most the paragraphs. Were they just too slow-witted to recognize brilliance? After a while, it hit me that I needed to learn to write more clearly. And that meant, among other things, applying the rules they were talking about. My ability to express myself grew as I took their directions seriously.
The Disgusting Word
Living within restrictions or boundaries feel unpleasant to most of us. We look for ways to get around them. It is a growing part of our culture to perceive restraints – particularly restrictions that limit self-expression – as wrong, and even, evil. And thus, the word “obey” can send waves of disgust, fear, and instant rebellion through many. Yet, learning to work within rules and instructions are so often the key to success and satisfaction.
When a person’s default is to resist limits or authoritative guidance, he or she has a hard road ahead. Obedience is a skill that when properly applied contributes to success. Sure, there are constraints that need to be challenged, unfair rules that should be discarded. Not all boundaries contribute to flourishing. But many are there to help us flourish. We need to make sure we first understand why there are limits present in the first place before we start blindly disregarding them.
Read MoreChoosing the Process Over the Product
“Christianity doesn’t work.”
I’ve been told this more than once. Someone explains why he’s giving up his faith, and it usually has something to do with him not getting what he feels he needs. Typically, references are made to unanswered prayers; troubling questions without satisfactory answers; doctrines that don’t make sense; and of course, there is always that person or group of people who claim to be Christians and are jerks. He simply does not want to be associated with such ignorance or insensitivity anymore. His position is often summed up with a statement like, “Neither the world nor my life has improved because of Christianity. In fact, it’s made everything worse. So I’m moving on.”
So, what makes something workable and worth sticking with it? I don’t know if it’s a Western thing or just a human thing that leads so many in my culture to judge something or someone according to how everything turns out. It is my tendency. If I have an itchy scalp, the question for the new shampoo I’m purchasing is, does it take the itch away? If it doesn’t work it’s not meeting my felt need, and it’s not good for me. This is how I, and I’m sure most people, judge consumer products.
But is it the right way to look at all of life?
Read MoreChoosing to Give Myself
The word ‘love’ in English is quite pliable. I can say that I love my wife and I love pizza, and most people will not accuse me of reducing my spouse to a mere platter of pepperoni nor looking to marry an Italian meal. The word can refer to a need (a plant “loves” water) or enthusiasm for a particular thing or activity (my son “loves” the Minnesota Vikings). It can also describe a profoundly tender affection for another (I love my children). In addition, it can reference almost every positive feeling between the two extremes. This flexibility, however, can sometimes lull us into not thinking about what we mean when we use the word. For a follower of Jesus, care in what we say we love and particularly in what we do love has important theological, and eternal, implications.
When I talk about the concept of love with others, I like to point out that it is much more than a feeling. It is a type of choice. Most people agree with this in theory but then get a bit uncomfortable when we examine how we apply the term. When we use phrases like “falling in love,” or “falling out of love” there’s no getting around the idea that we’re talking about an emotion that acts independently of our will. It can be here one moment and gone another. Such usage leaves the impression that we are helpless victims to this thing we call love. So much of today’s understanding of relationships (romantic and otherwise) is centered on what we feel about a person at any given moment. All the fluctuation in our feelings can stir up deep insecurity in relationships, not to mention crass cynicism. Love does not seem very stable.
A More Durable Understanding
The biblical presentation of love, however, talks about something more reliable than good and affectionate feelings. How else should we interpret Jesus’ command to “love one another” (John 15:12)? He tells His followers to do it, no qualifications, or exceptions. Most people realize that feelings cannot be commanded to come or go. Instead, feelings tend to follow our beliefs, our choices, and what we focus our attention on. The love Jesus is talking about, therefore, must be something we choose to engage with regardless of what we may or may not feel. It is a matter of obeying Him.
A definition I find helpful for this understanding of love is choosing to give the highest good to another. It is what God does for us and what he tells us to do for others. Sometimes the words that carry the meaning of love the best are I still choose you.
Read More
Choose This Day 