Choosing a Better Option
It’s a condition I have had for many years.
I get infections in my colon. They can be extremely painful and put me in the hospital. I have learned to recognize the feeling when it’s beginning and usually have to fight a sense of panic at the first twinge. My initial impulse has been to scramble for antibiotics. I send a frantic call to my doctor begging for a quick prescription. In recent years, however, those pills promising healing relief have made me feel almost as bad as the sickness.
What to do?
The condition is called diverticulosis. When an infection develops, it’s known as diverticulitis. I finally came to the conclusion that through increased fiber intake with water, probiotics, and a lot of prayer, I could avoid the antibiotics. It has worked for the past few years!
So, what’s the point of detailing my journey toward intestinal health?
When I’m in pain, I look for relief — usually whatever I believe will provide it the quickest. Sometimes what I imagine to be a cure ends up being as bad, if not worse, than the disease from which I am seeking freedom. I don’t think I’m alone in this.
Emotional Pain?
Discomfort of the soul stirs similar desires for relief. I don’t like feeling bad, whether it be sadness, guilt, inadequacy, helplessness, or boredom. However, I typically do not seek to understand where these feelings of uneasiness come from. I just want relief. So, I reach for the nearest remedy that will dull or cover the distress. The self-medication I apply to my soul or psyche rarely, if ever, solves anything. It either merely prolongs the uncomfortable feelings, once the quick fix wears off, or it leaves me feeling worse with increased sadness, intensified guilt, or far-reaching confusion.
Read MoreChoosing a Different Look
It’s been used as a joke, but there are some very funny images to support it as a reality. Do humans resemble their pets? In attitude and temperament? Even in their looks? It appears the answer is a strong YES! This phenomenon, particularly with dogs, has been studied and photographed multiple times*. Theories vary as to why this is more than a coincidence. But for me, it is obvious. We are attracted to things (and people) who are like us in some way. And we tend to take on the characteristics of those we hang out with.
This can be seen in couples who have been married for many years. Friends who are constantly together also begin to take on similarities they don’t even recognize but are obvious to observers. While my wife and I will be the first to point out all the ways we are different, others see our similarities: our values, our lifestyles, our faith, and even some of our habits and mannerisms. It wasn’t always that way. But having been married for more than 40 years, it’s fair to say we’ve rubbed off onto each other a bit. And, as for the non-couples out there, just look at social groups, teens and on up in age. From hairstyles to clothing choices, to the use of piercings and tattoos, not to mention language and all the other cultural traits. We become more and more like those we open our lives up to.
More than a physical thing
I can see a spiritual side to this as well. I heard it said many years ago, “You become like whatever you worship.” Why would this be so?
We have to consider what it means to worship. This is not a reference to music or singing. It has to do with what we adore and love. One of the thoughts I have gleaned from reading Saint Augustine’s teachings: we are not ruled by what we know (that is, our intellect), but we are ruled by what we love (that is, those things we choose to give ourselves to).
The people, the attitudes, the ideas we choose to embrace will be the most powerful direction-givers in our lives. Over time, we become more and more like that which we think about, that which we meditate on, that which we obey, that which we adore. Worship is obedience and submission. It can be applied to anything and anyone. And it will always produce some kind of fruit in our lives.
The anonymous poet who penned Psalm 115 gives us thoughtful insight. Idols and those who make them are described. They are crafted by humans and reflect what the human crafter values. They also mirror human foibles, flaws, and blindspots:
“Their idols are silver and gold,
the work of human hands.
They have mouths, but do not speak;
eyes, but do not see.
They have ears, but do not hear;
noses, but do not smell.
They have hands, but do not feel;
feet, but do not walk;
and they do not make a sound in their throat.
Those who make them become like them;
so do all who trust in them” (Psalm 115:4-8 ESV).
Be careful what you worship
True worship always calls us to rely on something. It can be money, public opinion, education, our own reasoning abilities and feelings, or God. The Psalmist effectively says that what we worship and trust in pretty much determine what we think about, what we adore, what we do, and ultimately what we look like and become.
But of course, there is another aspect to all this. What might we look like or become if we give ourselves over to be true worshipers of God? How does consistently loving God shape us from the inside out? If one is truly worshiping the One who defines beauty, goodness, justice, and love, then a person’s character will reflect Him: patient, forgiving, loving, committed to truth and righteousness, to mention a few qualities.
By implication, the writer of Psalm 115 is telling us how worshipers of human-made gods are limiting what they ultimately will be able to do with what they have:
They will have physical mouths,
but what they say will be meaningless as if nothing is being communicated.
They will have physical eyes
But they will be blind to what is permanently valuable.
They will have physical ears,
but what they hear will not be a voice communicating truth nor one guiding them into eternal wealth and satisfaction.
They will have physical noses,
but their spiritual sense of discernment will be unable to distinguish between what is eternally good and that which brings only short-term relief and pleasure.
They will have physical hands and feet.
But what they feel with all their senses will not be reliable, and neither will their feet take them to places that give true health and life.
Like our Father
Our lives are going to be modeled after someone or something. It’s inevitable. We can determine now what those features will resemble. The Bible is clear. Jesus came to make us children of God (John 1:12). We are called to be like our Heavenly Father, to take on His characteristics.
Choose this day what you are going to look like. We all are in the process of forming our eternal identities. It has everything to do with what we are bowing down and giving ourselves to now.
We may take on similarities with our pets, spouses, and good friends. But the shape of our character, ultimate beauty and worth has much more to do with what and WHO we love and worship!
Choose well! Your spiritual complexion depends on it!
Response:
- How might the things I love influence my attitudes and actions? For good or for ill?
- What do I trust in that shapes how I think? Is it leading me toward God or away from Him?
- What things, relationships, or accomplishments in my life have the potential of becoming idols?
- Jesus, what needs to change in my life so that I look more and more like you?
*Google “humans resembling their pets” and see what comes up.
(Edited and reposted from April 17, 2023 “Choosing What I Look Like”)
Choosing the Direction of My Love
I realize now there was one central reason I played sports as a kid. I wanted to belong. There were some bright moments on the high school football team, but I knew I would never be a star player. It was the opportunity to connect with a group, develop camaraderie, and form an identity that held the drawing power. I basked in the glow of being a football player! I was one of the guys! I even heard myself telling others that I loved football.
Looking back, the hype all feels a bit silly now.
Yet everyone, it seems, gravitates toward a group identity – even the non-conformist rebels tend to drift toward one another. The power of belonging is what I believe is behind the cohesiveness of ethnic groups, political parties, gangs, religious groups, and social-sexual associations – think of all the letters hanging together in LGBTQ+. Group identity empowers individuals to feel bigger than just one little ol’ person. But what fuels a person’s drive toward a particular association?
I believe it is rooted in what a person has chosen to love.
The Highway of Love
There are a lot of ways to define how love is talked about these days. But regardless what definition a person adheres to, I think it’s important to remind ourselves that none are immune from pursuing that which they have chosen to give themselves. Everyone loves in some manner. I’m referring to love as the choice or impulse to hand ourselves over in thought, deed, and affection to another. It could be to an idea, an activity, a system, a group, or a person. We all do it! Not all wisely, and not all that leads to good ends. We attach ourselves and our affections through our choices to admirable people (often just ourselves), stimulating projects and entertainment, stirring ideals, intriguing philosophies, heart-gripping beliefs. It depends on what we are convinced will enrich our identities or at least make us happier.
Read MoreChoosing to Honor My Parents
My dad turns 86 tomorrow. He and my mom have been living with us for the past several years. And it’s been so good to have them near in this senior season of their lives. They are able to engage with their grandchildren and great grandchildren in regular and meaningful ways. Having them close has also kindled reflections on what a parent is and can be through all the seasons of life. Traversing the ups and downs of raising four children, my mother and father have provided an example to me and my wife of what it means to endure in faith, hope and love through layers of pain, joy, and disappointment. They exude a tenacious wisdom and belief in God’s goodness as I hear them praying daily for every member of their family and the struggles of their nation.
From a godly mom and dad, I have consistently been given a healthy perspective for navigating life . . . that is to take EVERYTHING to God.
Difficult Parents
But not everyone is able to say the same about their parents. A father and a mother can be either a source of great comfort, joy, and guidance or a contributor to deep confusion, pain, and bitterness — most often a perplexing mix of the positive and negative. During my years in ministry, I have encountered heart-wrenching stories of parenting: abuse, neglect, abandonment, selfishness, narcissism. And the question often comes up, how can a child with such an upbringing sincerely obey the 5th biblical Commandment: “Honor your father and mother”? What if nothing honorable can be seen in how mothers or fathers have lived their lives or raised their children?
Read MoreChoosing to See IT in Me
I have worked with some people over the years with serious pride issues. Surely you know the type I’m talking about. They see and hear only what they want and leave room for little to no outside input into their work, their projects, their relationships or their lives. They’re blind to everything outside themselves.
Ugh!
I remember one of my very first jobs working as a government employee. My immediate manager was tasked with training me to take over her job before she retired—that was the position I had applied for and what I was hired to do. The problem was, however, that she personally felt (I found out later) that I was being given this position at too young of an age. Afterall, she had had to work her way up over the years through the ranks having started as a janitor. I was a punk kid fresh out of college. So she stalled. I was given meaningless tasks for months but never trained to do any of her job. Many a night I fumed at home over this woman’s arrogance. She thought her personal assessment of me and the situation trumped what I had been hired to do. She was blind to my needs, my abilities, my ambitions and, not least of all, our supervisor’s instructions. And I was being abused in the process. But of course, she thought she knew better. So I quit.
Ouch!
After recalling this little piece of my history, I’m reminded (uncomfortably so) that people who walk in pride typically are very sensitive to and angered by the pride they see in others. They rarely, however, see it in themselves. That doesn’t reflect well on me.
Read MoreChoosing to Follow His Promises
What is it about children and their selective hearing? They conveniently fail to perceive instructions or warnings they don’t like. But if a parent for some reason does not follow through with something he said he might do, there is a predictable mantra shouted:
“But you promised!”
And it’s that word “promised” that carries the punch. They never say, “You mentioned . . .” or “suggested” or “implied.” They use the most powerful word they know, making it synonymous with a vow, a pledge, a commitment, or a blood oath. It’s all to impose guilt on the parent, of course, as if he is committing a moral sin (and perhaps he is) by not fulfilling what the child expected. And yet we adults are not much different in how we use that word.
Trust Issues
A promise is the assurance given that something is going to happen. And as we get older, it’s typical for us to become cynical about any kind of verbal guarantee. When broken promises become more common than those that are fulfilled in our lives, we lower our expectations. Words become more meaningless. Written contracts become more necessary. Promises made in relationships, politics, and religion become more doubtful.
And we eventually scoff and sneer at the idea that any person can be counted on to keep a promise. The crux of the issue is always the questions surrounding the character and reliability of that “person” making the promise. Is there anyone who is worthy of such trust?
Read MoreChoosing a Long-Term View of My Life
It hit the airwaves just before I graduated from high school. And though I never absorbed any of the lyrics except the first line, I found myself humming and singing those few words over and over. There was also a movie and TV series that showcased the song.
“Fame! I want to live forever!”
Irene Cara belted it out so effectively at the top of the charts that I didn’t have to see any of the shows to remember it. Afterall, who doesn’t want to be famous, and who doesn’t want to live forever?
Well, it turns out that there are those who don’t want the pressures of fame. Ask celebrities who cannot go out in public without being harassed. And concerning living forever? it depends on who you ask.
What’s so great about a long life?
I recently read a post by a self-proclaimed Gen Z atheist. He was poking fun at how long the Bible claims pre-flood people lived. Methuselah has the biblical record of 969 years. “I’m already bored with this world,” he wrote. “Can you imagine living hundreds of years without the internet or any technology? No thank you.”
While there is much that could be said about this young man’s stereotypical Gen Z dependence on technology to get through any given day, it’s his view of the burdens of a long life that interests me here. It sounds like he might disagree with the song Fame. Living forever without technical support for entertainment sounds miserable, even cruel. If living hundreds of years is intolerable, what would it be like to be immortal?
Yet the search for immortality seems to be as old as humanity’s existence. The Mesopotamian Epic of Gilgamesh is an example of an ancient quest for immortality. The conclusion, of course, is that death is inevitable. But some sort of eternal life can be attained through being remembered by those who are left behind. This is what I assume the song Fame is referring to: I want to be famous for something so that I will live in people’s minds and the stories they tell long after I die.
Read MoreChoosing to Speak Life
As far back as I can remember, I have largely interpreted life, my value, and my impressions of those around me through the words I hear. What I have taken in through my ears has lodged deep into my soul. Countless words have cut like a knife, leaving me emotionally bleeding and struggling for air, while many others have wrapped around me like a warm blanket on a wintry day, imparting strength to keep going. And still others, for better or worse, have quietly and subtilely shaped my perceptions and understanding of the world. Some carry the breath of life. Others work to strangle or crush it. They are more than just physical sound waves pounding on my eardrums. They carry something invisible and other-worldly with a potency that can rearrange my insides for good or for bad.
Words matter!
Their force, I believe, is rooted in their origin. The Bible tells us that the Almighty Creator brought into physical existence that which was in His mind by speaking. “And God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light” (Genesis 1:3). In that same chapter, we’re also told that God created man and woman in His image (Genesis 1:26-27). While bearing His image holds many theological implications, one of them, it seems, is that we possess abilities patterned, to a lesser degree, after our Creator. Humans can take something they have imagined in their minds and bring it into existence through creative labor. Every invention (like the lightbulb), every work of craftsmanship (like a mahogany table), and every organizational system (like government agencies) started at one time as an idea in someone’s head. Like the One who made us, we all are creators at some level . . . for good or for bad.
What are we calling into being?
Words are the most basic creative element we possess. They start as ideas in our heads, or even in our spirits, and as we choose to speak or write them, they can transform into forces that impact everyone around us.
Read MoreChoosing to Begin Small
How many plans have been started with grand vision and then abandoned because of how insignificant and underwhelming the idea later felt? My visionary follow-through often struggles. Emotions of discouragement settle in when the glorious things I imagine don’t swiftly materialize.
Not seeing an acorn rapidly sprout into a mighty oak, could easily keep me from watering, nurturing, or even planting it in the first place. Difficulty envisioning a broken, painful relationship restored to something beautiful and life-giving could keep me from pursuing it, praying for it, and persevering in hope. Even the process of what God desires to transform within me could stall before it starts as old fears, mindsets, and doubts stubbornly refuse to surrender their dominance. It’s so difficult to go all in when what I’m starting with is pitifully minuscule or deformed, carrying no resemblance of what I’m hoping for.
Exercising faith can be so difficult.
Yet a tiny, mediocre, or unlikely beginning best describes the inception of so many significant undertakings. Only later is the fully-matured outcome looked upon as grand and imposing. God seems to have no problem starting with something or someone that is tiny, broken, or unimpressive. In the book of the prophet Zechariah, He warns His people to not wrongly judge the initial steps of rebuilding the temple. All they could see was a sadly mediocre foundation. It promised none of the greatness of the awe -inspiring place of worship that Solomon had built.
“Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin . . .” (Zechariah 4:10a NLT).
He Sees it Differently than Us
God was the hopeful One. He was delighted that what He had in mind was being acted upon. He didn’t degrade any part of the project that had begun in faithful obedience. But what do we tend to do when we despise something? Reject it. Neglect it. Disregard it. When we can’t see the significance, we easily turn our attention to other things, and in the process miss what God is doing and what He has in mind for our future and the future of the world.
Read MoreChoosing a Different Kind of Friendship
I was a child when I remember first hearing the concept of having a “friendship with God.” It provided a welcome relief from the burden of legalism my young perception of religion had pressed on me. But looking back, I now see that this new paradigm also brought a problem. My reference point for “friendship” was rooted in adolescent relationships, which were all focused on what made ME feel good. Thus, while thinking of my connection with God as a friend made Christianity more attractive, it also skewed my image of Him as I viewed our relationship through the fuzzy lens of what’s-in-it-for-me.
Friendships, in my adolescent mind, were supposed to boost MY self-esteem. They were supposed to make ME feel more valuable and less lonely. I was supposed to feel happier, more attractive and always affirmed in MY likes, dislikes and behavior. With the perfect friend at MY side, I imagined MY social awkwardness would disappear; MY shyness around girls would evaporate; I would get more compliments and affirmation. And I would have someone to help ME with MY homework to get straight A’s. The friendship motif was brilliant! Who would not want a relationship like this with God?
A Different Kind
Initially, I felt hopeful. I had found the secret to the good Christian life: walking through this world with God as my Buddy. However, as time went on, I began to experience frustration and disappointment. God didn’t show up as a friend in all the ways I expected. I didn’t always feel happy, and I felt even more socially awkward. Loneliness still haunted me and guilt and shame nipped at my heels. My relationship with God eventually cooled as I began to see Him as not knowing how real friends were supposed to act. He needed to learn a thing or two about how to be there for me when I needed Him.
It was quite a few years later that the truth dawned on me. I had never looked into or thought about God’s understanding of “friendship.” Was it possible that His perspective was different than mine? Was He actually friends with people in the Bible? And if so, were there ground rules? How did they work?
Read More
Choose This Day 