Choosing to NOT “Fix It” Myself
“I will kill as many of them as I can.”
A man in his early 20’s from Prizren, Kosovo said this to me quietly through clenched teeth. Not knowing how to respond, I silently reflected on the story he had just told me.
It was July of 1999, and I was staying in a town just across the border in Albania. This young man was a war refugee. And as we drank tea together, he told me how he had come home to find his entire family dead and buried in a shallow grave in their front yard. Groups of Serbian paramilitary had made their way through Kosovo, an autonomous region of Serbia at the time. Generations of ethnic hatred had erupted into a move to purge the land of the traditionally Muslim Albanian-speaking Kosovars. The young man’s family was one case out of thousands of murders that had recently taken place. It got so bad that NATO finally intervened, bombing until the paramilitary troops retreated back into Serbia.
I and my YWAM team were there to help the United Nations repatriate thousands of Kosovar civilians returning to their homes that summer. But though the war was technically over, healing was not on the horizon. This young man I talked to told me that the sin of the Serbs could only be covered with their own blood. When I finally asked him what he expected the family members of those he planned to kill would do in response, he replied matter of factly, “They will come and kill more of my people. This kind of thing never stops. We will all ultimately be destroyed.”
Does it never end?
Years later, the words of that young man still echo in my mind – and stir despairing questions. Is there no hope for an end to the ongoing violence layered throughout human history? Can the cycles of our sin against each other ever be broken?
Once again, I go back to ponder the Christian hope of redemption (read post on Atonement). The basis of it is that Jesus the Messiah came to break the hold that sin has on humankind. And He did it by letting His own innocent blood be shed on our behalf.
But does it work?
Read MoreChoosing to Wrestle with God
After my face was smashed into the sweaty mat several times by a brute bigger than me I changed my mind. That was enough, and I gave up the thought of becoming a wrestler. The high school coach had said he could make me a champion, but one practice was enough. Sure, I was young and wanted to prove my strength and sense of manly confidence. But there was nothing glorious about this. The air in the room was stifling hot with the scent of body odor permeating everything. I walked out of that wrestling room seeing nothing worthwhile in submitting myself to such an abusive workout every day for an entire season.
I look back now and wonder what I could have become if I had believed the coach enough to persevere. A different perspective has taken hold over the years. Wrestling now seems to be a poignant metaphor for life. And the longer I seek to follow Jesus, the more wrestling images come to my mind. But, at the same time, it doesn’t seem right. Shouldn’t my expectations of the Christian life be that of royalty sitting at a table having all that I need or want served on a silver platter? I am a child of the Creator and King of the world afterall. I have been given the assurance of ruling with Christ and judging angels!
Confusing Discomfort
This seems to be the tension of following Jesus. He came to earth to make me a child of God (John 1:12), and has even said that I will one day share His glory with Him (Romans 8:17). So many promises have been made that reinforce the idea that I am a favored child and should expect nothing less than good gifts from my Heavenly Father (Galatians 3:26; 1 John 3:1; James 1:17). But then there are promises of sharing in Christ’s sufferings (Philippians 3:10-11). I am called to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17), persevere through trials and temptations (Romans 12:12), and remain faithful even if it means an early death (Revelation 2:10).
I am left with two pictures of what I can expect my life to be like as a follower of Jesus, but they stand in tension with each other. It appears that the images of royalty and promises of glory are true. But there is a process of preparation for getting there. There is something that God desires to form in us. And the image of wrestling is an effective metaphor for understanding what that is.
Read MoreChoosing to Honor God’s Name
Online debates typically resolve nothing. And yet they continue and get ever more heated. There was one I saw awhile back that bantered back and forth over whether or not it was okay to say, “Oh, my God” as an exclamation. The discussion included strong opinions on how wrong it is to exclaim “Jesus Christ” when a person is not referring to Him at all but only expressing emotion. There were multiple references to the 10 Commandments, particularly the third one concerning not taking God’s name in vain. One comment, however, summed up many people’s view: “Let’s not make a big deal of this. I’m sure God is secure enough that he can handle mere words that come out of people’s mouths.”
Mere words?
I agree with this comment in that God is secure in Himself, the most secure being in all of existence. But I disagree that the third commandment, which says we should not take God’s name in vain, is not a big deal. Even though the 10 Commandments are found in the Old Testament (Exodus 20), Jesus affirmed them all in one way or another. He even added His own commentary to some of them, making them even stronger. So, a Jesus follower needs to understand the heart behind these commandments because they seem to have been important to Him. Even in the prayer He modeled for us we say, “Our Father who is in heaven, hallowed (or holy) be your name.”
Thou Shalt Watch Your Mouth?
So, what does it mean to NOT take God’s name in vain? Is it referring to swearing? Well, yes. Kind of. One of the meanings of the English word vain’ or ‘vanity’ refers to that which has no significance, value, or importance. It is empty or hollow. Thus, one way to understand this commandment is that we are not to empty God’s name of its value or meaning. It has been common for thousands of years that individuals try to strengthen their words and oaths by swearing by the name of their gods. The God of Israel said, “You are not going to treat me as any common god or idol. You are going to set my name apart, holy and unique.”
Read MoreChoosing Love that Gives
I first wrote the words “I love you” in a note to a girl when I was in the 5th grade. It felt good. And the feeling was even better when I received a note back with the same words. A core belief took shape in me. From that point on, I understood love as something that was meant to make me feel good. Of course, my 5th-grade love affair didn’t last long (I was too shy to actually talk to her). But the impression that love is defined by how another person makes me feel, stuck.
And then I encountered God.
Believing in His unconditional love felt good too. But He asked me to love others in the same way—even those I don’t like. How was that possible? If I didn’t have “the feeling,” how was I to love them?
Later in life, I remember reading through the book of Isaiah, grimacing over the descriptions of God’s loathing of sin and what it has done to His creation. Where was His love in all this? No good feelings here. It felt as though divine frustration was ready to destroy everything! But then the words of John 3:16 pushed into my mind. And I was struck with the awareness that even with God’s hatred of evil He longs to find ways to express His love and affection for those He has created. The familiar Bible verse declares God’s love to be an action, not a feeling! It shows how far His love is willing to go to deal with the sin problem.
But how does this change how I love?
Here I find the definition:
Read MoreChoosing to say, “NO!”
In every house I’ve lived, sooner or later, we have to deal with pests. We’ve battled everything from snakes to bats, all looking to make a home with us. But of course, the most common little irritating critter has been the mouse. Unfortunately for him, but thankfully for us, this creature’s downfall is almost always its palate. I can drop a tidbit of something savory onto a trap and be confident that it will seduce and then allow me to eliminate any rodent within sniffing distance. What dumb little critters they are to let the growling in their stomachs obliterate their ability to discern their impending destruction.
But stupidity also perches at the very top of the predatory chain. Depending on what my mind, emotions or body is craving, I easily ignore or minimize the potential consequences of my choices. The enticement is called temptation. And its allurement defies my rational thought and spiritual values. My feelings don’t actually catch up with what’s truly at stake until I taste the bait and experience the pain of the sprung trap. And even then I don’t always learn the lesson.
For those who are not sure where temptation leads, the Bible is clear: “Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death” (James 1:14-15 NLT).
Yikes! It’s the starting point of a very nasty ending. And for all those who care about what God thinks, it is nothing to mess around with. For a Jesus follower, it’s vital to recognize what tempts me to disobey God and wisely install defenses against such deadly enticements.
Read MoreChoosing to Resist
Though I could be quiet and reserved as a child, I had a belligerent side as well. I got into quite a few fights—the kind that included punching, slapping, kicking and bloody noses. Before you form a mental picture of me as a delinquent hooligan, I can honestly say all the incidents pitted me against a bully and usually on behalf of another who was smaller. One time, I even hit a girl who was physically assaulting a small boy (not all bullies are males). Even with such chivalrous zeal, I took a few beatings and didn’t always walk away as the victor.
I now look back and like to think of myself more as a resister than a fighter. I didn’t, and I still don’t, like to see people get pushed around by oppressors and tormentors. Yet even as an adult, I see them all around. The real bullies and hidden enemies, I now understand, are the ones that pull the strings behind stage. We don’t see them. They’re incorporeal spiritual beings. But there is still a need to stand up to them.
Who is the REAL enemy?
The Bible tells us to resist the devil and he will flee from us (James 4:7). Whether we think about having an invisible enemy who bullies us or not, the scriptures have a lot to say about such a being. We are instructed in more than one place to stand against and wrestle the spiritual forces that are harassing, confusing and oppressing us. There is no room for passivity in the Bible when it comes to spiritual opposition. We are instructed to know who is our real enemy and who is not.
We are NOT to wrestle “flesh and blood” (Ephesians 6:12).
How often I forget that people are not the ones I am to fight. But what I’m struggling against are the influences of evil spirits of the unseen world that seek to twist and destroy my world. Through Jesus I have been given the authority to stand against all that is thrown at me (Ephesians 6:11, Colossians 2:14-15).
Even though it’s not a physical brawl, I have to still choose the attitude of a fighter. This does not mean I am to be belligerent and testy with anyone, for no person or group of people are my real enemies. But it means I am alert and never surprised when I experience opposition, conflict, strife, contention, animosity, disputes, hostility, hassles—you get the idea.
Though clashes may come through other people or even my own thoughts, it is the invisible enemy behind others’ behavior and attitudes or the voices in my head that I must learn to resist. As a follower of Jesus, I can expect attacks and challenges in specific areas of my life because the enemy knows well the strategic points that my life and purpose in Jesus rest upon. If he can intimidate me to back down in these crucial areas of my life, he wins. By identifying them and readying my mind and heart for battle, I can have the advantage of not being caught off guard when forces of darkness strike.
So, what am I fighting for?
Read MoreChoosing to Turn Around
I’m growing—particularly around my gut.
As I get older, I find myself fantasizing about coming up with a plan to return to my 18-year-old body, back when I felt no need to think about what or how much I ate. And it was more pleasant to look at, too. Of course, that has remained merely a dream. For me to get back even to what I weighed when I was a high-school student would take some major changes in my habits and lifestyle and perhaps my DNA. The problem is, I would like the fruit of the change, but I don’t want to—at least not badly enough—make the necessary changes.
This dilemma stretches into my spiritual life as well. The more I learn about the behaviors and attitudes that draw me away from God (see posts on the 7 Deadly Sins: Pride, Anger, Lust, Envy, Greed, Gluttony, Sloth), the more I like the idea of being rid of them. Afterall, life for a Jesus follower—or anyone, for that matter—is better without habitual sin (read my post on the “problem”). But, how to begin to make those changes? That’s a trick, if I truly want to learn it, that can be applied to every part of my life.
Changing Our Minds
It’s actually not a trick. It’s described in the Bible with a mundane word that is not in fashion today.
Repent.
It literally means to “think again,” or “to change the way one thinks.” It’s sprinkled all throughout the scriptures. And it’s usually associated with the process of dealing with sin in a person’s, or group of people’s, life (Ezekiel 18:30; Acts 2:37-38). Jesus used this word when He began His ministry. “Repent, for the kingdom of God is at hand” (Matthew 3:2). What was He intending the listeners to do? Well . . . to change their thinking patterns, particularly their ideas about the Kingdom of God, what His expectations were for them, and what it meant for them to obey Him.
Read MoreChoosing Guidance from God
I was sure I heard God’s voice. “Take your family to Romania.” It had been that clear in my mind as I prayed, and it was one of the outreach options for our YWAM training school. My wife had prayed and agreed, and we were excited to say, “We’ve experienced God’s clear direction!”
But we had no money. Sad and confused, we watched the team leave for Romania without us. Inner-city Chicago ended up being where our family spent that summer instead (another story). For a long time afterward I was discouraged. Hearing God was obviously for people much more spiritual than me.
Three years later we were on staff at a YWAM base. The Discipleship Training School (DTS) leader asked me to lead an outreach to Romania with my family. Christine and I nervously agreed. Within a short time all the money we needed came in, and with our three young children, we went to Romania for five weeks. It was an amazing time of ministry for all of us, particularly in the orphanages. Maybe we had heard God afterall. . . but just hadn’t understood His timing?
Lighting Up the Harbor
Later, I read a book* about receiving guidance from God. The author used the illustration of a 19th century Italian port with an entrance so treacherous from submerged rocks that something innovative had to be done to safely guide ships in. Three light houses were set up in a row. As long as a ship’s pilot kept all three aligned in his sight so they appeared as one light, boats could enter the harbor safely. But if ever he saw three separate lights, disaster was eminent.
The author used this illustration to explain components of seeking God’s direction in life. He proposed that (1) the word of God, (2) the internal witness of the Holy Spirit and (3) circumstances were all “lights” that need to align in order to be confident of God’s leading in any major decision. I quickly saw the wisdom in this and eventually added a fourth light that complemented the three.
God Told Me to Do It?
We all can think of examples of people who have claimed to be guided by God but in the end their decisions proved to be foolish, wrong, or outright evil. Below are four “lights” that, when aligned, can provide clarity and safety as we seek to hear God’s voice and make life decisions.
1. Alignment with the light of God’s written word
From the very beginning of the Christian Faith, what was written in the Old Testament scriptures was considered authoritative and inspired. The writings of the first followers of Jesus were later added to create what we know today as the Bible. Without the Old and New Testaments there would be no followers of Jesus today because we would not know the story of God’s work in the world. Thus the Bible is still the reference point for those who claim to be Christ followers (Matthew 5:18-19; Luke 21:33).
Yet it can be used wrongly, deceptively and selfishly when quoted out of context. Without seeking to know the heart of God, which is both loving and holy and revealed throughout the book’s entirety, many words can be twisted to justify almost anything. Hatred, murder, various perversions as well as slavery have all been “supported” using the Bible. Despite the sometimes conflicting interpretations of certain passages, it still holds a unique place as a standard for right and wrong behavior and insight into what is truly important to God. It must be the starting point for any follower of Jesus when seeking God’s guidance.
2. Alignment with the Light of the Holy Spirit’s Internal Witness
Whether it comes through a desire, idea, strong impression, voice or vision while reading the Bible, the Holy Spirit’s personal confirmation is very important. Through an internal witness we experience the intimate awareness of God’s presence. What we “hear” within should not be ignored (John 10:3-4). This is where we own the guidance God is giving us with our “yes.” Any internal leading, however, that is contrary to what God has already revealed in His word and what He values must be rejected.
Occasionally people tell me what they think God wants me to do. Could that be God speaking to me? At times something inside immediately resonates and it seems clear that this is from Him. It’s like experiencing an internal “amen.” In other cases, I feel nothing or even an uncomfortable sensation. On such an occasion, I have learned to not throw their word to me away but place it on the “waiting shelf” in my mind. If anything comes along in the future that confirms it, I can take it down and consider it once more. There are “words” from other people that have been on that shelf waiting for many years.
Ultimately, I’m responsible for all my decisions. I can’t blame my actions on some other person telling me what the Holy Spirit is saying. I have to own my choices, and the Holy Spirit helps me do just that. His witness is an internal conviction that is accompanied with peace (Colossians 3:15) even when I don’t like what He’s saying. A lack of peace could also be the Spirit’s witness and should not be ignored. The Spirit’s voice will never back me into a corner in a condemning way but will offer His counsel with the freedom for me to refuse or embrace it. He always gives me the choice of obedience. It’s His way of love.
3. Alignment with the Light of Wise Counsel
The Bible is full of instructions to seek input from others, besides the internal witness, when making decisions (Proverbs 12:15; 15:22). Of course, choosing the right source for my advice is of vital importance. If I go only to those who always tell me what I want to hear, it’s wasted effort. I’m really just doing what I want and not truly interested in God’s will. Who is the person not afraid to tell me “no” and I will respect it? That’s the one I should seek out. On the other hand, going to someone who has a vested interest in the decision I’m making is not a good idea either. Even good and godly people can have selfish reasons for the counsel they give, which may not be God’s for that particular situation.
In the end, everyone of us, no matter how spiritual, needs to hear from outside ourselves. We then are left to prayerfully decide whether the counsel is good and fits with what we know to be true about God’s character. This light can also help correct a subjective inner witness that may be leading us astray—if we have the humility to actually listen (read “Choosing to be a Learner”) .
4. Alignment with the Light of Circumstances and God’s Timing
When the first three lights line up, we must then wait for the “open door.” Favorable circumstances alone provide poor guidance. Just because something is a good opportunity does not make it God’s will. The word of God, the Holy Spirit’s internal witness and wise counsel are all important tests for any “great” opportunities no matter how perfect they appear on the surface. How easily we can misinterpret the inner witness of the Spirit, presuming to know how God is going to do what He said. The light of circumstances helps keep guidance from God rooted in reality.
As when Christine and I heard God’s direction to take our family to Romania, timing is an important factor. For us, three of the lights were lining up. But God used finances to steer us to be in Romania at just the right time. I’m still not sure why He spoke the directions more than three years before the door opened, but that’s how He works sometimes.
These are good principles. But guidance from God is not a formula with four easy steps to always know God’s direction. It’s not “magical” like using a Ouija board or crystal ball. It’s based on relationship with Him because that is His first priority. He wants you to know He has your highest in mind throughout the entire process. Trusting that He is good and desires to lead you to good places, whether you can presently see them or not, is the foundation for all godly guidance (read “Choosing to Hear God on His Terms”).
He desires, more than anyone else, to see you and me guided into the safe harbor of His love.
Response:
- Which light do I find easiest to depend on?
- Which light do I find easiest to ignore?
- When have I given up on trying to hear God because things didn’t work out the way I thought they should?
- Jesus, what do you want me to know about your desire to guide me?
*Take Another Look at Guidance by Bob Mumford is presently out of print, but used copies are available online.
(Edited and reposted from October 28, 2019)
Choosing a Clear Eye
My cousin and I had started a window-washing service as our summer job between college semesters. We figured we could make easy money with our pails and squeegees catering to the affluent Los Angeles suburbs. I didn’t mind the washing part. But knocking on doors and soliciting potential customers stretched my non-salesman personality.
A particular experience remains my reason for making that the last summer of door-to-door sales for me. In a very nice Southern California neighborhood, a woman invited me to walk around the outside of her house to calculate an estimate. The area surrounding the back patio was cluttered with assorted items, but my focus was on counting windows. I navigated clay pots, garden tools, patio furniture and other debris scattered through the yard. At one point I glanced down at my feet that were almost touching an inflatable pool toy. The life-size “toy” alligator then opened its eyes and turned its head toward me.
Positive that my heart stopped beating, I dropped my clipboard and pressed my back against the wall, unable to make a noise. Looking up for help, I saw another long reptilian figure moving across the grass toward me. The scream that finally found its way to my throat was cut short when the woman of the house popped her head out of the patio sliding-glass door and said, “I forgot to tell you about my pets.”
Oh really!?
In the end, we got the job. But when it came time to wash the windows, I did the inside and let my cousin brave the outside. We were college students, afterall, and couldn’t pass up the money.
Blind
Why do we sometimes not see what is right in front of us? The surface answer is that we’re not paying attention. But in many cases, especially for myself, it has to do with not seeing what I’m not expecting—like seven-foot alligators in the LA suburbs. The adage, “I’ll believe it when I see it” is only true part of the time. For many it’s just as true to say, “I’ll see it when I believe it.” Beliefs and sight are closely tied together. Which one comes first is hard to say for sure.
Read MoreChoosing a Bigger Picture
What gives meaning to life? That is the philosophical and spiritual question that has been asked for thousands of years. As a follower of Jesus, I have assumed that all others who follow Him would answer this in the same way: God. In His son, Jesus, “the image of the invisible God” (Colossians 1:15), He has brought all reality together. The greater purpose of life is found in Him. But I have learned that though there are many who claim to believe in God and even nod in agreement with these words, not all live their lives as if this is true.
Universal Meaning?
I recently read a quote from the diary of an author from the early 20th Century. Though I do not know anything about her faith, her ideas easily represent how many people resolve the question of what gives life meaning.
“What makes people despair is that they try to find a universal meaning to the whole of life, and then end up by saying it is absurd, illogical, and empty of meaning. There is not one big, cosmic meaning for all, there is only the meaning we each give to our life, and individual meaning, an individual plot, like an individual novel, a book for each person. To seek a total unity is wrong” (The Diary of Anais Nin Volume 1).
This woman’s approach to minimizing the anguish some feel as they try to figure out life’s purpose is to not think too big. To seek universal meaning for all of existence will never end well, according to this author. Keep it small. And I have no doubt that many today agree with her. What was interesting (as usual) were the comments on this post. Most of them sang the praises of this philosophical take on how to view life. One in particular said, “Meaning in life is only found when I focus on the individual, particularly me. If it’s not going to make me happy then I’m going to have nothing to do with it.”
Read More
Choose This Day 