Choosing the Order of My Affections
I had a professor in college who challenged all of us to be passionate . . . about anything. Throughout the semester he often said that it didn’t really matter what we were passionate about, just that we cared deeply enough about a cause, a line of work, or an area of study to give ourselves completely to it. Half-heartedness was our greatest enemy as we took steps into adulthood. I was moved and spent quite a bit of time afterwards pondering what I could care about so deeply to have it direct my life in the way that the teacher described. While I claimed to follow Jesus at the time, the idea of making God the focus of my passion did not come to mind for some reason. The professor had directed us to find a cause or activity, one to feel deeply about. And so, I tried a few things, like long-distance running, exploring new kinds of music, and even political projects and positions that benefited the poor.
It was not too long after this that I proposed to my girlfriend. Marriage and my passion for her and our life together became my focus. The other pursuits were pushed into the back seat, with some of them falling out of favor for good. Left to themselves, after all, passions often don’t last long – definitely not forever. But I have often revisited some of those early ponderings and wondered whether it is true that it doesn’t matter what I’m passionate about, or what I allow my deepest affections to go after. Passion is the goal, regardless what it’s focused on. But is EVERYTHING worth passionately committing to as long as I feel it deeply? Does simply choosing to give my affection to something automatically make it worthy of a passionate pursuit?
Read MoreChoosing to Hold My Ground
Many years ago I read a slim little book by a Chinese pastor known as Watchman Nee. It was a study of of the Biblical book of Ephesians. It is called Sit, Walk, Stand, and I have referred to it many times since.
SIT
He points out that the first three chapters of Ephesians focus on what God has done for us through Jesus. We are told that God predestined us to be adopted by Himself through Jesus (Ephesians 1:5). That He’s given us the Holy Spirit as a guarantee of our future inheritance until we acquire possession of it (Ephesians 1:13-14). That we have been saved by grace through faith (Ephesians 2:8). That we are no longer strangers and aliens but members of God’s household (Ephesians 2:19). That Christ is ready to dwell in our hearts (Ephesians 3:17). And these are a mere fraction of what all is stated to be ours in the first three sections.
Pastor Nee calls these the SITTING chapters. All that God has done for us is laid out, and we simply have to learn to rest or SIT in what has been set into motion. There are really no commands or directions given to obey here. We are called to believe and trust — which of course is not always easy.
Read MoreChoosing Authenticity All the Time
No matter how hard I try, why are some things so difficult to resist? Overeating? Harsh responses to those who correct me? Anxiety about the future? I know how I should respond, what I’m supposed to do, and what I ought to feel. But that rarely gives me what I need to actually do it and never provides what is necessary to truly feel it. No matter what they say, will power alone does not have what it takes to change me and keep me strong against all the types of temptation that push on me.
A 15th Century German-Dutch follower of Jesus named Thomas á Kempis wrote, “The beginning of all evil temptations is a mind not firmly fixed on its purpose…”* I have pondered what this means for quite a while now, and I think brother Thomas has something to teach us. The understanding of my purpose is rooted in the understanding of my identity. Who and what I believe myself to be forms the foundation for all that I do and why I do it.
But to make it a bit more complex, it’s not just what I believe about my purpose and identity that is key. The essential point is that these beliefs are what motivate me and they, in turn, shape me. I act according to who and what I interpret myself to authentically be. My identity informs all that I do. How I view myself and my purpose then becomes that which determines how I make all my life decisions.
Read MoreChoosing the Way of Thanks
I am afflicted with a condition that I understand many men have. I often cannot see what is right in front of my face. The can of soup I’m looking for in the pantry mysteriously disappears when I go to retrieve it. I’m perplexed and frustrated. And then my wife steps in and produces it out of thin air. How is that possible? To my embarrassment, it isn’t a mere coincidence.
Somehow, she has the ability to see what is really there. I look, and if it is not where I imagined it should be, or if it is a different color or shape than I assumed, or not moving, I’m afflicted with a curious blindness. Items in plain sight are cloaked. I experience this while searching for socks, medicine, keys, and books more often than I care to admit.
But I’ve come to see that it also is a condition that affects my soul.
Blind to What I Have
I am naturally programmed to focus my attention on what I can’t see—that is, what is not immediately in my grasp. My mind is alert to comparing my status, career, possessions, education, relationships, personal satisfaction, experiences to those around me. More often than not, however, I come out on the short end. What I have doesn’t seem enough and I become agitated, restless, pessimistic. This blinds me to what I do possess. I then don’t see what I really have. And sometimes I don’t even have to go as far as comparing myself to anyone; I just see everything in my life and around me that’s wrong.
When our family has a financial need, my tendency is to then focus on the many other things that are not ours (and probably never will be). Something breaks in our house that I cannot immediately afford to repair, and my eyes then zero in on the walls that need to be painted, the deck that needs to be sanded and stained, the roof that will soon need to be replaced and I feel myself slipping into depression. What I fail to take in and savor in those moments is that we’ve actually been blessed with a house to live in!
This is NOT a good way to live!
Read MoreChoosing the Reason I Love
There are a lot of people I don’t like. In fact, there are some, if I had it my way, I would avoid completely. They either believe differently than I do and make me feel uncomfortable; they are interested in things I cannot relate to; or they have rude habits that irritate and make me look for an exit. Many people in this world make “loving my neighbor” a real chore, if not completely impossible.
To speak honestly, I don’t feel any love for most the people I see walking the streets. I particularly feel a void of affection for other drivers on the road (after all, they’re mostly idiots, right?). Politicians and public personas tend to push me into a judgmental attitude. The personalities projected on social media often strike me as fake. And the arguments I observe breaking out on the internet typically feel like nothing more than image polishing and virtue signaling. As I grow older and follow the twisted patterns of people’s behavior, I fear I am turning into a cynical judge of all things that are human (baa humbug)!
It’s a Command!
And yet, Jesus tells me that the Second-Greatest Commandment for His followers is to love my neighbor as I love myself (Matthew 22:39). When someone asked Him, “Who is my neighbor?” obviously looking for a loophole (which is what I would have done), Jesus then told the story we know as the Good Samaritan. The conclusion was that the Samaritan — despised and avoided by all Jews at the time — was The Neighbor. The one nobody liked and viewed as coming from the problem people of their land was the example given of who Jesus followers are to love (Luke 10:25-37).
Ouch!
This feels offensive and doesn’t fit my sentiments of love.
So, what am I going to do if I seriously want to follow Jesus?
I want to first clarify what Jesus meant by love. What is it, and what it is not?
Read MoreChoosing to Call Out Dishonest Desires
As a Follower of Jesus, is it wrong to ask God to fulfill my desires? I have been asked this question more than once. There are two extreme responses that I now see getting associated with Christianity. One comes out of the God-wants-you-to-be-happy theology and therefore, of course, wants to satisfy every desire. The other is more related to Eastern asceticism, labeling the pursuit of fulfilled desires as a distraction that leads to suffering and deceitfully draws us away from God.
I usually offer a short (and usually unsatisfying) answer: it depends.
So, maybe a more helpful question is, how do I determine if the desire I have is a good one?
The Bible talks a lot about desires, and I have written before on the topic (read “Choosing to Desire Well”). Here I am writing about it again. I never seem to get away from thinking about how integral desires are to how we do life. Whether we’re always aware of it or not, we make choices and pursue our paths according to whatever object or goal our desires have zeroed-in on. Thus, the Bible warns us of fraudulent desires (Ephesians 4:22) and even ones that lead to death (James 4:2). But it also informs us that there are desires that lead us to good places (Proverbs 11:23) and ones that God longs to fulfill (Psalm 37:4; 145:16).
Read MoreChoosing to Value Faith
The well-known British philosopher and atheist, Bertrand Russell (1872-1970), was supposedly asked later in his life how he would explain his beliefs if he was confronted with God after he died. It is said that he quickly replied, “Not enough evidence, God! Not enough evidence.”
I have often wondered how much evidence would it take to convince him, or any atheist, of God’s existence. What kind of proof is necessary to satisfy anybody that there is a personal God? It seems to me that belief in a deity or some kind of spiritual reality is more a matter of human will than anything else. If I don’t want there to be a God, then I am likely to find the means to explain away any “evidence” that might be presented. But, if I do desire a God (of any kind), I am more apt to have eyes to see all kinds of things and happenings as evidence pointing to the likelihood that there really is a spiritual Being and reality outside myself.
Faith (a choice of my will) makes the difference.
But What Am I Assuming?
The word “faith” often gets a bad rap. It is typically relegated to the ranks of the unthinking, naive, and even disingenuous. Mark Twain, the famous 19th Century American author supposedly said, “Having faith is believing in something you know ain’t true.” Whether or not this was his final conclusion, his statement sums up how many people pass faith off as insensible and even moronic.
Beliefs and faith (or lack of faith) run very closely with what we presuppose — those attitudes of the heart from which the process of belief begins. If I assume that miracles cannot happen (because it offends my intellect), then I will naturally come to the conclusion, when reading the Bible, that a good portion of it is imaginary and made up. On the other hand, if I assume miracles are possible (because I sense there is much in the world that my little brain cannot comprehend), I can therefore write off much of atheist Richard Dawkins’ writings as shallow propaganda. Where I start greatly determines where I end up.
Read MoreChoosing to Be More Than Just “Fixed”
The Geek Squad technician looked at me and said, “It’s dead. Your laptop’s motherboard has failed.”
Of course, my first question was how much it would cost to repair it. I liked this computer. We had accomplished a lot together.
He shook his head. “It wouldn’t be worth it for this old thing,” grimacing with a condescending air. “And if you did replace the motherboard, something else would soon go wrong. This one wasn’t made to be repaired. You need a new one.”
Those were not words I wanted to hear. I didn’t have the money to buy something new, and I truly felt attached to this particular laptop. It felt like an old friend.
When I finally accepted the fact that my beloved computer was gone, I wondered what my options were. I took a look at refurbished ones. It was my wife that talked me out of that. She didn’t trust them and urged me not to. Somehow, we got the money, and I ended up with a new laptop.
Why Not Just Fix the Old Thing?
Refurbished technology has become a big business because the new stuff can be so expensive. My wife and I have looked into refurbished phones, but there are always those risks. One article I found gave three reasons to buy new rather than refurbished:
- You don’t know the history of the device you’re purchasing. It may look nice on the outside, but it could be a lot older than it looks with hidden problems.
- The lifespan of the refurbished device is unknown. The battery life cannot be checked and therefore you are taking a risk on how long it is going to last. Battery life seems to be everything for electronics.
- Refurbished devices (for the most part) don’t come with warranties. There’s typically no recourse if it doesn’t work the day, the week, or the month after you purchase it.
While I’m not sure that all three of the above points are true for every refurbished device, the point is that starting with something brand new is overall usually a better experience. It’s just more costly. And so, we look for cheaper and easier options to get by. Why can’t it just be fixed?
God’s Plan for Us
I have been doing a lot more thinking about what God has in mind for our lives. He’s not merely wanting to fix us and replace a few broken parts. He wants to make EVERYTHING new. This sounds great!
That is until we realize the cost.
Read MoreChoosing to Be Empty
I despise fasting. I hate the way it makes me feel grumpy, irritable, distracted with thoughts of burgers, pizza, and ice cream when I’m trying to do something important. But most of all, it makes me feel hungry. And hunger tells me I need something to fill and nourish the emptiness inside. It isn’t the way I was meant to live. No one was meant to live perpetually hungry.
But yet the Bible refers to fasting multiple times. Jesus fasted, along with the Apostles. Early church writings refer to fasting as if it is expected to be a regular part of the life of a Jesus follower. It has often seemed strange to me, though. How am I supposed to focus on my relationship with God when all I can think about is the next time I will pop something into my mouth? And now there’s this trendy thing called “intermittent fasting” that’s supposed to help a person lose weight and get healthier.
I recently decided to take a second look at fasting after talking with several people who claimed it has improved their health. The intermittent kind can take a couple different approaches. One can regularly refrain from eating for a couple days out of each week (sounds awful). Or a person can restrict the time periods during each day in which one does eat. This means that someone might not eat for 16 hours out of a day and eat only during the other eight hours. I read that besides losing weight, this can help lower cholesterol, blood pressure, and reduce the risk of type-2 diabetes. So, with gritted teeth, I decided to try it.
Nourishment By Going Without?
It wasn’t fun. I would resist food up until 12 noon each day, and then eat nothing after 8:00 in the evening. The morning hours were especially challenging as I was constantly glancing at a clock to see how much time I had left until I could stuff my face. After about a month, I was about to give up on it, despite the supposed health benefits, when I heard God speak to me. It was in the form of a very strong impression that there was something important He wanted me to learn from this experience. He used Deuteronomy 8:3, part of the ancient speech of Moses speaking to the Israelites after they had wandered in the desert for 40 years.
Read MoreChoosing to Be Right
Wife: “You forgot to put the garbage can out this morning.”
Husband: “I put it out last night.”
Wife: “I’m pretty sure I just saw the garbage truck go by, and it did not stop at our house.”
Husband: “I put it out! You just weren’t paying attention. I’m sure the truck stopped.”
Wife: “No, I was watching. [Strong, accusatory tone]. And the truck did not stop because our garbage can was NOT out there.
Husband: “I know I put it out! [Over-the-top defensive tone].
Wife: “Then go and see for yourself.”
Husband: [Goes outside. Returns and sits back in his chair saying nothing].
Wife: “Hmm?”
Husband: “I thought YOU were going to put the garbage can out.”
Winning an Argument
Why does it feel so important to prove I’m right? Why can I go to ridiculous lengths to justify my behavior, beliefs, and attitudes? The possibility of someone saying to me “You were right,” even about the smallest disagreement, pumps a shot of dopamine into my brain. But, I rarely hear those words.
As far back as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be right, about everything! Much of my motivation for learning and formal education has been fueled by the validation I imagine I would receive while being told I’m correct in my knowledge of any given subject I have studied. And in the back of my mind I still feel a thrill at the thought that I’ll hear the words, “You are right, Jeff.” Yet, those words still remain elusive. And I am hungry for them.
Please Tell Me I’m OK
I suppose the desire is rooted in my need to be validated, assured that I am not damaged goods. The fear of being wrong, of somewhere, somehow missing the correct path has been strong. This drive has quite naturally transferred over to my faith walk as well. Much of my younger years was about studying to know the Bible in order to answer all the questions that might be thrown at me. Ultimately, even “good works” were motivated more by the need to prove to myself that I was a worthy Christian. The hope was always to one day hear every unbeliever I talked with say that charmed phrase: “Jeff, you are right!”
At some point while doing some research, I realized that the word “righteousness” simply means to be right. I’m not sure what I had always thought the definition of this Bible word was, but this simple explanation surprised me. I pondered scriptures that told me I was to live a life of righteousness. The Bible was telling me to be right and, of course, to live right. I quickly saw that it was not saying I should work hard to know stuff so I can win arguments. Rightness, according to the Bible is something deeper.
Read More
Choose This Day 