Choosing My Building Materials
I first became a homeowner when I was 25. It was a small run-down rental in a suburb of Sacramento, California. My wife and I decided we could buy it at a good price and “fix it up” ourselves in preparation for our soon-to-arrive first child. I had never done any kind of remodel work or even basic house projects for that matter. And this was before YouTube do-it-yourself videos. But it seemed like a good idea at the time. And thus I began to climb a steep learning curve: painting, wallpapering, roofing, siding, wiring, digging (an inground sprinkler system). Many mistakes, and a lot of money, later, our house was pretty much the way we wanted it. And then we sold it and joined Youth With A Mission (YWAM), all five of us living in one bedroom for more than a year.
Upon reflection, there are a couple of valuable life-lessons I learned, besides “measuring twice to cut only once” and that aligning wallpaper patterns does matter. For one, it is not good for someone with a red-green color blind condition to do household electrical work (a true story for another time). But probably even more important to be applied to the big picture of life is that the quality of the materials you use in your projects makes a difference – especially long-term.
My tendency has been to go cheap to save money. There are always less expensive toilet-repair kits, garden hoses, and brands of paint that catch my eye and keep more in my wallet. In contrast, my wife’s mantra has always been, you get what you pay for, so go with quality for the things that are important. We have had more than a few disagreements over this topic when money was tight (more true stories for another time). But, as the years have gone by and after many repeated repair jobs, paying again to replace the same part, I have come pretty close to now agreeing with her. The bottom line is, I want things to last. And making that happen never comes cheap.
The Most Important Investments
Yes, the Bible does have some things to say about quality building materials and lasting dwelling places. There is Jesus’ parable about the man who built his house on the rock (Matthew 7:24-27). We’re told that it is the quality and wisdom of Jesus’ teachings that are solid enough to be the foundation of our lives and keep us from collapsing in the storm. Of course, there is the cost of studying, meditating on, memorizing, and loving His word to actually have the benefits of this foundation.
But there is another passage that intrigues me, found in 1 Corinthians 3:10-15:
Read MoreChoosing to Follow Honest Desires
As a Follower of Jesus, is asking God to fulfill my desires a bad thing? I have been asked this question more than once. There are two extremes that I now see getting associated with Christianity. One comes out of the God-wants-you-to-be-happy theology and therefore wants to satisfy every desire. The other is more related to Eastern asceticism, labeling the pursuit of desires as a source of distraction that leads to suffering and deceitfully draws us away from God.
The short (and unsatisfying) answer that I usually offer: it depends.
So, maybe the better question is, how do I determine the character of my desire?
The Bible talks a lot about desires, and I have written before on the topic (read “Choosing to Desire Well”). Here I am writing about it again. I never seem to be able to get away from thinking about how desires are integral to how we do life. Whether we’re always aware of it or not, we make our choices and pursue our paths according to whatever object or goal our desires have zeroed-in on. Thus the Bible warns us of deceitful desires (Ephesians 4:22) and even ones that can lead to death (James 4:2). But it also informs us that there are desires that lead us to good places (Proverbs 11:23) and those that God longs to fulfill (Psalm 37:4; 145:16).
They are not all trustworthy
I have recently been going through the Book of Ephesians, and my mind got stuck on a verse warning that my life can be corrupted through deceitful desires (4:22). I began to think about how there are desires that lie and lead us in directions that are not good for us. They make promises like “If you just had more money, you would be happier.” Or, “If you had a spouse or a different spouse, or none at all, then you could flourish as a person.” Or, “If you had more education or certain skills, then you would feel valued.” All these and many more promises like them basically tell us that any particular thing or status, or relationship that we strongly desire will bring satisfaction once it is attained. Therefore, pursue it!
If there can be a “deceitful” desire, does that mean there are also honest or truth-telling desires? As I have written in the past, we typically get focused on the object of what we want which is the item or goal that we believe will satisfy. This is where we so often get deceived. An honest desire can thus be understood to be one that God has planted in us. I would call these the real or core desires of our hearts. They are what so often get overlooked as we pursue the unreliable promises of the objects we are lusting after.
Read MoreChoosing to Believe in Paradise
Dystopian stories have been all the rage for quite a few years now. The 20th Century produced novels like Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell, Brave New World by Alex Huxley, and Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury. They each described an imagined future in which powerful forces sought to control not only people’s behavior but also what they thought—a very grim outlook. More recently, The Hunger Games by Susan Collins and Divergent by Veronica Roth are examples of popular stories turned into movies that describe a similar bleak future for humanity in which a controlling elite, through fear and manipulation, hold the populace in bondage. Interestingly, many of the most recent and fashionable dystopian novels have been labeled “Young Adult” fiction. Might this provide a peek into this generation’s expectations for what is to come?
The word dystopian comes from the Greek prefix “dys,” which refers to something bad, harsh, or wrong combined with the Greek word “topos” which means place. The opposite would be utopian, which refers to a community or country where everything is perfect and ideal.
So, why are there no utopian novels being made into movies? It seems that would be much more uplifting. My guess is that no one believes such places are possible, and stories about perfection are typically considered boring anyway. In fact, most of the dystopian novels I am aware of concern societies attempting to make themselves into utopian communities. But of course as is generally true, but not always believed, such human efforts fall short, often miserably. And thus the “best” tales that seem to resonate with the most people are those of the gloomy failures in which humans ineptly seek to make their own paradise.
Has it ever worked?
Speaking of paradise, the Bible has a few things to say on this topic. God appears to be interested in drawing humans into a place of utter joy and contentment where there is no evil. We are told in the first two chapters of Genesis that He in fact created a paradise for the first humans. Not only was this Garden perfect with every human need met, but God Himself walked and interacted with all He created, taking particular delight and interest in humans. The man and woman drew their life from the unmediated Divine Presence as the rest of creation looked to them for proper care and management. And it was this unbroken connection with the Creator that allowed the Garden, administered by the humans, to be a successful utopia. It was the place where heaven and earth met. It was the reference point that would be buried deep within the soul of every future human of what ought to be and what we were made for.
Read MoreChoosing a Real Friend
I was a child when I remember first hearing the concept of having a “friendship with God.” It provided a welcome relief from the burden of legalism my young perception of religion had pressed on me. But looking back, I now see that this new paradigm also brought a problem. My reference point for “friendship” was rooted in adolescent relationships, which were all focused on what made ME feel good. Thus, while thinking of my connection with God as a friend made Christianity more attractive, it also skewed my image of Him as I viewed our relationship through the fuzzy lens of what’s-in-it-for-me.
Friendships, in my adolescent mind, were supposed to boost MY self-esteem. They were supposed to make ME feel more valuable and less lonely. I was supposed to feel happier, more attractive and always affirmed in MY likes, dislikes and behavior. With the perfect friend at MY side, I imagined MY social awkwardness would disappear; MY shyness around girls would evaporate; I would get more compliments and affirmation. And I would have someone to help ME with MY homework to get straight A’s. The friendship motif was brilliant! Who would not want a relationship like this with God?
A Different Kind of Friendship
Initially, I felt hopeful. I had found the secret to the good Christian life: walking through this world with God as my Buddy. However, as time went on, I began to experience frustration and disappointment. God didn’t show up as a friend in all the ways I expected. I didn’t always feel happy, and I felt even more socially awkward. Loneliness still haunted me and guilt and shame nipped at my heels. My relationship with God eventually cooled as I began to see Him as not knowing how real friends were supposed to act. He needed to learn a thing or two about how to be there for me when I needed Him.
It was quite a few years later that the truth dawned on me. I had never looked into or thought about God’s understanding of “friendship.” Was it possible that His perspective was different than mine? Was He actually friends with people in the Bible? And if so, were there ground rules? How did they work?
Read MoreChoosing My Source of Glory
The pop artist Andy Warhol is said to have come up with the phrase that is now known as “15 minutes of fame.” There is disagreement over whether it was actually his idea. But regardless of who coined it, the idea took hold and is now a cliché catch phrase. It refers to the fleeting nature of celebrity status. The vast majority of those who have a season in the spotlight (be it for good or ill), are soon forgotten, relegated to the trash heap of notoriety in favor of the next interesting personality, talent, oddity, or horror. “Enjoy your 15 minutes of fame,” we might be told after getting some kind of media attention for a worthy accomplishment (or an embarrassing blunder). For typically, that is all it will be – a quick bright flash, and then mundane nothingness.
As a child, I always thought it would be great to be famous. Popularity at school would have been an encouraging start – if I only could have attained it. However, the desire did not necessarily disappear as I grew older. Perhaps it changed shape a bit, but the perennial longing for acclaim followed me into adulthood. To be recognized. To be known. To be admired. To be highly esteemed. To be remembered. By the time I was somewhat more mature, I understood that this wish to be famous and/or popular was not a godly thing and therefore probably not God’s will for me. Thus I tried to bury it.
But was my hunger for attention that far out of line?
A God-Given Craving?
In his essay, “The Weight of Glory,” C.S. Lewis addresses our human desire for fame. He concludes that glory is what we are after, and glory is what God is offering us. But, of course, like so many qualities in the broken world we live in, our understanding of this attribute has been twisted to fit our fallen self-indulgence. In our “me-centered” minds, glory is merely another word for human recognition that affirms that we are above and somehow better than others. This kind of glory is typically sought by doing anything that gets people to notice and not easily forget. It will almost always involve making a lot of money, getting major media attention, being the best at something, scoring goals, turning heads, behaving badly, forcefully overpowering others in a grandiose way, and even killing on a massive scale or in a unique way.
Hmm.
So what does God have in mind instead?
Read MoreChoosing to Embrace the Dry Season
The Sahara can be a lonely and disheartening place. I’ve been to this seemingly endless North African sandbox several times. Its beauty, overshadowed by the harshness and potential for disaster, was often not seen till after I returned home and reviewed my photos. On one trip, I hunkered down in a house with my team, riding out a sandstorm in which the air remained a hazy dark brown with little visibility for almost three weeks. During another, I nearly froze under the stars in my sleeping bag in the sand, anxiously wondering if I would be trampled by a group of nearby camels.
But the most disheartening experience was running out of gas along a barren stretch of road, miles from any village. We never saw another car. Our vehicle had a second fuel reservoir, but the mechanism used to switch the intake between the two tanks wasn’t working. In the end, I had to suck on a siphoning tube to manually move gasoline from the full one to the empty one. What a relief when the car finally started again.
And yet occasionally I have had eyes to see some profoundly beautiful things in this grim and desolate place. Green spots can suddenly appear while driving through the sea of brown rock and sand. An oasis is an exquisite sight in the desert. Jesus followers who somehow persevere in the midst of threats and persecution can unexpectedly show up at your door. What a humbling experience to interact with a believer who truly understands the cost of following our Lord. In my mind, the symbol that best represents hope in this seemingly lifeless and uninhabitable land is the date palm. It thrives in desolately arid regions and produces some of the sweetest fruit I’ve ever tasted. We gorged ourselves on this desert candy while camping beside a cool pool of water in an oasis. It was truly an exotic and refreshing experience.
Life in the Wilderness
Sometimes, followers of Jesus feel as if we have been led into a desert with no oasis in sight. It’s difficult to imagine beauty or opportunities for nourishment in harsh, dry and dusty places. The goal is usually just to find a way to get through as quickly and as painlessly as possible. And yet many followers of Jesus talk of the “dry seasons” of their faith. They wonder where God has gone, what’s up with not being able to hear His voice like they could in the past, and why serving Him feels so much harder than it used to. Desert experiences are not fun. What kind of good can they possibly provide?
Read MoreChoosing My Allegiance
The 4th of July has traditionally been one of the most important days for Americans to express their patriotism, loyalty, and love of country. As a kid, I vaguely understood this. Fireworks, picnics, and homemade ice cream were what I perceived and appreciated most. American Independence Day slowly worked its way into my overall awareness of history, politics, and symbolic gestures as part of the trappings of being an American.
Speaking of gestures . . .
I was a part of the generation that grew up saying the Pledge of Allegiance in class each morning in my public school. We would stand next to our desks and place our hands over our hearts as we faced the U.S. flag. The words would roll off our tongues without really hearing them. It was a ritual that I never thought about deeply. I saw its main value as a reference point for learning to distinguish my right hand from the left as a child. And yet, aware or unaware, it still was a powerful declaration that we children made each morning. As we grew older, we would then decide how much of it we actually meant.
We Cannot Escape Them
But allegiances are part of life. They are what give shape to our identity as individuals and as groups. Who I am is typically best put into words by speaking of the community, activities, beliefs, roles, and goals to which I have attached myself and continue in submission to. Even among those who say they have no allegiances, it’s likely they have a strong loyalty to their own independence and self-preservation at the very least. To literally hold no allegiance to anything is somewhat equivalent to being one of the walking dead. That person would theoretically be just a body, with no sense of connection to anything that raises him or her above the status of an animal. And thus there would be no ability to clarify uniqueness, beliefs, hopes, dreams, etc. I doubt there are many, if any, who truly have no loyalties to anything. Without some point of devotion or commitment to that which gives them meaning, they would be worthy of pity from the rest of us because they would not really be living.
Allegiance ultimately is an activity of the heart. Humans, I believe, were created to exercise it and do so without a lot of conscious effort. It arises from within and says, “This is what I am going to give myself to. This is going to give me my sense of purpose.” I often hear people talk about it in terms of what their passions are – the things they feel strongly about and give themselves to with abandon, holding nothing back.
Read MoreChoosing the Goodness of God
It has become a beloved classic. The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, although written by C.S. Lewis as a children’s story, has powerfully communicated the Gospel message to many adults as well. Aslan, a lion and a Christ figure in the story, has a way of getting behind some of our unhelpful stereotypical images of Jesus and God. In one very memorable scene, the four Pevensie children are questioning Mr. and Mrs. Beaver about this lion they have just heard about and are having a difficult time understanding his appeal. “’Then he isn’t safe?’ said Lucy. ‘Safe?’ said Mr. Beaver; ‘don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? Of course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.’”
Lucy’s concern about this powerful being that she and her siblings are just learning about is similar to that of many Jesus followers. Am I safe in God’s hands? Do I dare allow myself to fully trust Him with my entire life? Will I in the end get hurt or regret making myself vulnerable to Him? These are fair and very natural questions. But ultimately, I don’t think they allow us to explore God to the fullest or open the door to know Him in the way He desires to be known.
Expectations and Disappointment
Most people are searching for ways to better control their lives. The pursuit of wealth, knowledge, and power are the classic means humans have always used to minimize the pain and unpredictability of living in this broken world. We search for pathways that guarantee safety, provision, health, success, and satisfying relationships. Uncertainty of desired outcomes is unnerving, stirs anxiety, and leads us to do almost anything to maintain a sense of control.
Read MoreChoosing to Avoid the Spiritual Black Hole
“I will kill as many of them as I can.”
A young man from Prizren, Kosovo said this to me quietly through clenched teeth. Not knowing how to respond, I replayed the story he had just told me. It was July of 1999, and I was staying in a town just across the border in Albania. This young man told me how he had come home to find his entire family dead and buried in a shallow grave in their front yard. Groups of Serbian paramilitary had made their way through Kosovo, an autonomous region of Serbia at the time. Generations of ethnic hatred erupted into a move to purge the land of the traditionally Muslim Albanian-speaking Kosovars. The young man’s family was one case out of thousands of murders that had recently taken place. It got so bad that NATO finally intervened, bombing until the paramilitary troops retreated.
I and my YWAM team were there to help the United Nations repatriate thousands of Kosovar civilians returning to their homes that summer. But though the war was technically over, healing was not on the horizon. This young man I talked to told me that the sin of the Serbs could only be covered with their own blood. When I finally asked him what he expected from the family members of those he planned to kill, he replied matter of factly, “They will come and kill more of my people. This kind of thing never stops. We will all ultimately be destroyed.”
Does it never end?
Years later, the words of that young man still echo in my mind – and stir despairing questions. Is there no hope for an end to the ongoing violence layered throughout human history? Can the cycles of our sin against each other ever be broken?
Read MoreChoosing Kindness as a Lifestyle
It was the first week of my summer vacation after finishing the 3rd grade. There was an unexpected knock on our front door. The teacher who had started the school year and then disappeared in the spring on maternity leave stood there. In her arms was her newborn child that she had brought to show me. As a nine-year-old boy, I had no appreciation for how far she had driven, nor the inconveniences of taking an infant out in public. I also had little interest in looking at a baby. Yet I can still remember her smile as she sat in our living room and invited me to take a closer look at her treasure. I don’t know how many other students she visited, but the feeling of importance I felt was beyond my capacity to express at the time. She honored me that day, and my little-boy’s heart could feel it. This thoughtful and tender act left such a deep impression that it is one of the few things I can now recall from that year of my life.
Kindness is powerful.
I’m certain that I have experienced many more acts of kindness than I can remember. And I believe they have all been part of shaping me into who I am. However, I have also heard this tender quality referred to as something much less meaningful and impactful. Some see it as nice but not necessary for a relationship, kind of like garnish on a dinner plate or a cherry on top of ice cream. It makes things a bit more pleasant, but it’s not the main dish. Afterall, it is often the first thing to be discarded when a relationship comes under stress.
For others, to be kind is to show weakness. Therefore, to sit in the relational power seat, kindness is either twisted or disregarded. Many thus view outward expressions of kindness as little more than manipulative tools. They find themselves using “kindness” to get what they need or want. And they perceive questionable motives behind the thoughtful and generous acts of others.
How important is it really?
Yet kindness is listed among the nine Fruits of the Spirit in the Bible (Galatians 5: 22-23). And since fruit is the result of something that has been planted and cultivated over time, real kindness is something that should show up when the Spirit of God is at work in a person’s life. It’s one of the character qualities of our Heavenly Father that He desires to see in His children. But what difference does it really make? Does its absence in a person’s life or its manipulation for personal gain create any concerning consequences?
Read More
Choose This Day 