Choosing to Mature God’s Way
I only have to look in the mirror to be reminded of the many birthdays I have experienced. It’s funny how my excitement and attitude toward turning another year older have changed since I was young. Birthdays used to be the happy focal point for my entire year. It’s easy now to slip into a dark gloom as I count down to those milestone dates that mock my youthful days. What is there to look forward to as the number of candles on my cake moves well beyond a half century?
Other than increased body aches and my age corresponding with the decade that gave us lava lamps and bubble wrap, I haven’t minded getting older. I have experienced benefits, and I try to focus on those. The youthful angst is gone. I care less about what others think about me and feel freer to be and do life according to how God made me. I thoroughly enjoy solitary moments but believe more than ever that I have valuable things to offer others. And as I reflect on what has been the most important ingredient contributing to my growth from a shy, foolish, insecure boy to a man who is less shy, less foolish, and less insecure, I realize there’s been an anomaly at work.
A paradox is a statement or idea that seems contradictory at face value but when examined more closely is quite true. It’s easy to overlook such things since much of the time we don’t probe beyond the surface of an idea. The paradox that so many miss, and that I believe to be a key to greater wisdom and maturity while aging, is that I must become more like a child. Yes. I’m confident that valuing, embracing, and living out qualities that we typically attribute to children will change any life for the better.
Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it” (Mark 10:15, NLT).
Read MoreChoosing From Where I Seek Help
For some reason it’s painful to admit that I’m not a handyman. Sure, I have taught myself how to fix some things around the house. But, I have also created a lot of messes. The bottom-line issue has almost always been to save money. Time is usually less expensive for me than hiring a trained professional. So, I have been motivated to figure it out myself, or find convenient and cheap advice. My do-it-yourself plumbing jobs and electric wiring projects, therefore, have rarely been completed without mishap. Yet I’ve had just enough successes to keep me feeling “I’ve got this one.”
The writer of Psalm 121 said, “I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come?” This is an ageless question. Where should we look when we need some help? We all require it, regardless whether we admit it to ourselves or not. Whether it’s how to fix the bathroom faucet from dripping, or how to climb out of a massive hole of credit-card debt, or what to do with the confusing questions surrounding identity, purpose, sexuality, past, future, etc. Sooner or later we all ask ourselves, “From where does my help come?” How we answer greatly determines where we end up down the road. The source we seek help from today will either create greater messes or lead us toward a life-giving, peaceful future.
Read MoreChoosing an Incarnated God
At the beginning of my senior year in high school, my family moved to another state. It was difficult for many reasons. The hardest one was that I was leaving a girlfriend (who would eventually become my wife). This was back before the internet and FaceTime. Cell phones were still a thing of the future, and long-distance calls were expensive. Yet Christine and I somehow managed to keep our relationship going, eventually attending the same college. But I can say this with conviction: long-distance relationships are difficult.
Zoom meetings (though they got old) made the COVID pandemic, with all its isolation, more tolerable. Yet, the longing for almost everyone was to be with others in person. There are some things that can only be communicated, imparted, and received when we’re together in the flesh!
Christine and I enjoyed our overpriced phone calls and hand-written letters during that last year of high school. But the real thrill came counting down the days to each visit when we would actually be together (and we managed several throughout that year). Those were the moments when I paid attention to every movement, posture, facial expression, fragrance. Her words and smile resonated in my mind and heart in a way that wasn’t possible over the phone. Those visits cemented our love for each other and are part of the foundation of our relationship to this day.
What a Loving Creator Will Do
God began His love affair with humans in person, in a Garden. But through our own fault, we were separated. He provided an opportunity for a long-distance relationship with willing people through laws, regulations, and other communications of His expectations. But while these commandments revealed some aspects of God’s desires and character, intimate connection was painfully difficult to develop merely through a written code.
And at a certain point in human history, God decided it was time for a visit.
Read MoreChoosing the Way of the Magi
Christmas stirs my imagination. Not only can I endlessly ponder the significance of our eternal God becoming a full-fledged human, I am intrigued by the variety of responses in the Bible to this event: Bethlehem shepherds awestruck by an angelic light show; Nazareth residents scandalized by an unwed pregnant teenager in their tight-knit community. Jerusalem’s citizens and king confused and disturbed that a new king is being announced when the old one is still on his throne. But the characters who arouse my curiosity the most are the Magi from the East. Depending on the Bible translation one uses, they are also referred to as kings or wise men in the Gospel of Matthew.
So, what makes them special?
As I have researched these guys over the years, the main thing I’ve learned is that we really don’t know much about these travelers. We can make some educated guesses taking a historical look at who the Magi were known to be. And those guesses can open a whole new appreciation of what these mysterious characters were all about and what their motivations might have been.
Read MoreChoosing to Call Out Courage in Another
I was in the third grade when I painfully discovered something about myself. A teacher was giving a math lesson on the multiplication table using a chart with colored geometric shapes. She asked for a volunteer to provide the answer to 3X3, referring to the colored circles on the poster. I raised my hand, was called on, and enthusiastically shouted out, “Nine blue circles!” I knew I had the right answer. But the teacher’s response confused me. “No, they’re purple. What’s wrong with you?” She then asked another child to provide the “correct” answer. Everyone in the class was looking. That was the first time I remember feeling such shame. Something was wrong with me. A year later at an eye doctor’s appointment, I was diagnosed with a type of color blindness. Certain shades of blues and purples, among other colors, looked virtually the same in my world.
On the surface, this shouldn’t have been an event that left a scar. Yet more than 50 years later, it’s still quite vivid in my memory. I forgave the teacher who callously humiliated me a long time ago and have since learned to laugh off most of my color-blind blunderings. But the incident also highlighted for me the difference between merely calling out people’s weaknesses versus calling out courage for them to grow beyond their weaknesses and walk out their destiny.
Read MoreChoosing to Be Holy
The word “holiness” has always fascinated me while at the same time making me feel uncomfortable. Throughout the scriptures, it is used to describe God, His Spirit, His dwelling place and many of the things he does and has done. My discomfort comes from the fact that I can’t relate.
To be holy gives me the impression of being disconnected from reality, in a way that sounds extremely boring and a little scary. Yet on the more attractive side, it has sometimes stirred a sense of mystery within, mainly because I feel there’s more to it than I have experienced or understood. Something or someone that is holy seems to be in another realm that is definitely not of this world. “Otherness” or “indescribable purity” come to my mind. If true, it could be kind of fascinating to experience. But, practically speaking, why would I want it?
Most definitions I hear equate being holy with being “set apart.” Most the examples of “holiness” that I have been shown over the years, however, have centered on what a person didn’t do (and were usually proud of it). People who were serious about holiness didn’t wear certain clothes, especially the kind that were popular or trendy. They didn’t touch alcohol, tobacco or drugs—at least so others knew about it. They stayed away from expressions of any kind of sexuality, never even talking about it. And for the overachievers, women wouldn’t wear any makeup or jewelry, the men grew no facial hair, there were no tattoos, and everyone avoided going to dances or watching movies. And then there were those who seemed to see it all as a competition. That was my impression.
No thank you. I can live without “holiness.”
There’s more to it?
But then, as a Jesus follower, I find the word all throughout the scriptures. What am I supposed to do with it? One verse in particular gets me: “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord” (Hebrews 12:14, NIV). This appears to say that holiness is a requirement for getting close to God. Really? It sounds like God thinks this is pretty important.
Read MoreChoosing to Believe Anyway
“He will order His angels to protect you.”
These words from Psalm 91 are a great comfort for many people right now. It says in verse 6, “Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday” (NLT). What a reminder that COVID with all its variants, and every other potential disease outbreak, are not outside God’s jurisdiction. Neither is the threat of nuclear war, nor a sinking economy. The promises here are meant to stir up our confidence in our Heavenly Father’s love and power today in the same way this Psalm encouraged the original hearers nearly 3,000 years ago.
But interestingly, this Psalm has also been used as a tool of temptation. We’re told in Matthew 4 that when Jesus was tempted in the desert, Satan quoted scripture at Him, portions of Psalm 91. It was the second of three temptations (read post, Choosing to Not Take the Bait). The devil took Jesus to the highest point of the Jerusalem temple and dared Him to take a leap. “If you are the Son of God, jump off! For the Scriptures say, ‘He will order his angels to protect you. And they will hold you up with their hands so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone’ ” (Matthew 4:6 NLT). This might sound reasonable to some of us as a way for Jesus to prove He’s the Son of God—performance of a superhuman feat! But Jesus did not give in to Satan’s use of this Psalm.
He responded: “The Scriptures also say, ‘You must not test the LORD your God’ ” (Matthew 4:7 NLT).
Testing God?
What is that supposed to mean? I personally have never felt the slightest temptation to throw myself off any tall edifice to see if an angel would catch me. Curious? Maybe. Temptation? Definitely not. So, how am I to relate this incident to my own life? Is it testing God merely when I stupidly get myself into a dangerous situation and expect Him to snap His fingers and get me out?
No. I think there’s much more to it.
Read MoreChoosing a Thankful Heart
I am afflicted with a condition that I understand many men have. I often cannot see what is right in front of my face. The can of soup I’m looking for in the pantry mysteriously disappears when I go to retrieve it. I’m perplexed and frustrated. And then my wife steps in and produces it out of thin air. How is that possible? To my embarrassment, it isn’t a mere coincidence.
Somehow, she has the ability to see what is really there. I look, and if it is not where I imagined it should be, or if it is a different color or shape than I assumed, or not moving, I’m afflicted with a curious blindness. Items in plain sight are cloaked. I experience this while searching for socks, medicine, keys, and books more often than I care to admit.
But I’ve come to see that it also is a condition that affects my soul.
Read MoreChoosing to Acknowledge My Need
“I’m so disappointed,” the young man said to me. “I came here wanting to experience God’s love. But I have felt nothing new. This has been a waste of my time.”
I was interviewing one of our discipleship students as the program was winding down. It is always discouraging to hear our students give negative reports and to hear of it only at the end of the program. Frustrated and unsure how to respond, I quickly asked God for guidance. Typically I would try to come up with some kind of encouragement in an interview like this to redirect to a more positive outcome.
But, in response to my prayer, a scripture came to my mind.
Nothing to forgive?
A woman came to Jesus and anointed his feet with expensive perfume. When she was criticized for doing this, Jesus made a very interesting comment about her and the nature of love: “Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven – for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little” (Luke 7:47 ESV).
This story had always been a bit of an uncomfortable mystery to me. For so many years I interpreted it to mean that one can give and receive love deeply only if one has been dreadfully sinful before receiving forgiveness. I (like many people) have never considered myself a terribly scandalous sinner. I always wondered, was Jesus telling me that I could never experience the depths of loving and receiving His love because I had not sinned enough?
That afternoon, however, as I sat listening to the young man’s complaint, the mystery of this passage began to clear up for me. The issue at hand was self righteousness. It is only as a person is willing to look at and acknowledge the depths of his or her need for a Savior does one experience this love relationship with Jesus.
A Respectable Sinner?
A Savior is not required merely for the ghastly, unmentionable sin of the past. I need a Savior today. And I will need one tomorrow too. In fact, the biblical concept of salvation tells me that through faith in Jesus, I was saved. I am being saved. And I will need to be saved in the future. Being rescued from the effects of sin is not just for those who have committed heinous crimes. Many of us more “respectable” sinners still carry around loads of pride and self-centeredness that we remain blind to. This might be one of the reasons we don’t experience a deeper sense of love for or from God: we are still blind to the things in our lives that keep Him at arms’ length.
This is what I ended up sharing with this young man. I asked him what he needed to be saved from. He couldn’t answer me. He had been brought up in a Christian home and felt good about his life. He had asked Jesus to forgive a few sundry sins here and there, but he had never wrestled with his heart motivations of arrogance and self righteousness that tend to plague us who have lived “good lives.” He had managed to be “good” all on his own and did not feel the need for a Rescuer.
Why do I still need a Savior?
But he wanted to experience the love of God. And the experience and all the wonder feelings were not coming. That interview ended with me praying for him. I asked God to show him WHY he needed a Savior so that his love for God could be more than merely something he tacked on as another cool spiritual experience.
Upon finishing that interview, I too was convicted of my tendency toward self righteousness. When we become experienced at doing good things, it is easy to feel that all we really need is to keep on doing good stuff, and then we and Jesus will be good with each other. When I let Him, He gently shows me those attitudes, blind spots, and behaviors from which I still need to be rescued.
By choosing to continue to learn humility, I can be assured that loving God and receiving His love will not be relegated merely to spiritual experiences. Our love relationship and all the good feelings that may come with it will be genuine byproducts of recognizing my need for forgiveness and help.
This is meant to be the lifestyle of a disciple.
I will never not need Him.
Response:
- What do I need to be rescued from?
- Where in my life am I trying to create my own righteousness?
- Where might sin be hiding in my life? Why might I not be able to see it?
- In what ways might I be seeking an “experience” of God’s love without looking at my need for Him?
- Jesus, show me my need for salvation every day!
Choosing Real Love
I was in Lhasa, Tibet the first time I saw someone physically bow in worship to a statue. The Buddhist temple was filled with smoky incense, and dozens of people prostrated before a grinning image. Sunday-school stories of the ancient Israelites giving offerings to idols bubbled up from my memory. It was difficult to comprehend there were people today still worshiping gods made of wood and metal. The second Commandment came to mind: “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them” (Exodus 20:4, ESV).
My next thought: “I’m so glad we don’t carve images and worship them in our Western culture.”
Of course, I’m embarrassed now that I blindly believed the American people were idol-free. As a nation, we’ve made gods out of so many things, it’s mind blowing. Money and comfort are only the tip of the proverbial iceberg. There are all kinds of things we worshipfully run after to make our lives feel easier and worthwhile. We have relational idols—ideal connections with others that we trust will remove or cover our loneliness and give a greater sense of significance. We have philosophical and political idols—ideas we count on to provide a sense of control, self-determination, and justice. We even have religious idols—reshaped images of God that allow us to better relate to, manage, and fit the divine into our lifestyle.
Yes, we still worshipfully “carve” and fashion things and ideas into shapes we believe will benefit us. And we then bow down in submission, living our lives and treating others according to how these “gods” dictate.
Buddhist temples have nothing on us when it comes to worshiping hand-crafted images.
The Shape of Love?
One such thing I have noticed popping up more and more among Christians is the refashioned image of love. We quickly assume we know what it is: to show love is to affirm the feelings and personal interests of another. Granted, sometimes that is how love is manifested. But as far as a definition goes, it’s not quite what’s presented in the scriptures. Nobody today disagrees that we need more love in our society. However, if you ask someone what the word means, you’re likely to hear something about being nice and letting people alone to do and be whatever they want.
The most succinct definition of love in the Bible is found in 1 John 4:8: “God is love.” It’s important to note that it doesn’t merely say God is loving. In other words, love is the essence of the totality of God’s being. It is not just what He does, it is what He is.
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Choose This Day 