Choosing the Right Words
As far back as I can remember, I have largely interpreted life, my value, and my impressions of those around me through the words I hear. What I have taken in through my ears has lodged deep into my soul. Countless words have cut like a knife, leaving me emotionally bleeding and struggling for air, while many others have wrapped around me like a warm blanket on a wintry day, imparting strength to keep going. And still others, for better or worse, have quietly and subtilely shaped my perceptions and understanding of the world. Some carry the breath of life. Others work to strangle or crush it. They are more than just physical sound waves pounding on my eardrums. They carry something invisible and other-worldly with a potency that can rearrange my insides for good or for bad.
Words matter!
Their force, I believe, is rooted in their origin. The Bible tells us that the Almighty Creator brought into physical existence that which was in His mind by speaking. “And God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light” (Genesis 1:3). In that same chapter, we’re also told that God created man and woman in His image (Genesis 1:26-27). While bearing His image holds many theological implications, one of them, it seems, is that we possess abilities patterned, to a lesser degree, after our Creator. Humans can take something they have imagined in their minds and bring it into existence through creative labor. Every invention (like the lightbulb), every work of craftsmanship (like a mahogany table), and every organizational system (like government agencies) started at one time as an idea in someone’s head. Like the One who made us, we all are creators at some level . . . for good or for bad.
What are we calling into being?
Words are the most basic creative element we possess. They start as ideas in our heads, or even in our spirits, and as we choose to speak or write them, they can transform into forces that impact everyone around us.
I heard a phrase when I was young that I believed to be true, but I now am certain is a falsehood: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me.” It would be nice if words with ill intent would just bounce off like rain on an umbrella. But typically, they do not. There have been moments in my life when I would have much rather endured a physical injury than bear the cutting trauma of being ridiculed, accused, discounted, or belittled by what someone said. The pain a person’s tongue inflicts can leave a soul cut, battered, and feeling as if it is dying.
Read MoreChoosing a Life of Substance
Music of the rock group Kansas takes me back to my high school days. I particularly remember the hauntingly beautiful harmonies of “Dust in the Wind”. The sound would echo in my head days after I listened to it on the radio. Who could resist humming or singing the mournful tune and wallow in a melancholic puddle of feelings. Supposedly, it was inspired by Native American poetry, an enchanting yet bleak reminder of where our modern materialism takes us. But how many who savored the bittersweet melody back in the 70’s ever really thought about the implications of what it was saying? “All we are is dust in the wind.” Was there a hopeful antidote? Something that could impart substance to our nothingness? Immortality? The song didn’t say, and I never took the time to think too deeply about it.
Why? Because I had my whole life in front of me. As a teenager, I pretty much behaved as if I would live this present life forever (of course, without much thought). No rush to get anything done, make any solid plans, or think about what happens at the end. I had plenty of time to work that all out at some point in the fuzzy future.
And the Bible Says?
Interestingly, the scriptures offer some parallel thoughts with the mournful crooning of Kansas. A single human life on this earth is short, stunningly insignificant. Its weight cannot be measured in terms of time spent wandering the globe, the amount of material wealth collected, or the number of tasks performed. When considered in light of the thousands (millions?) of circuits the planet has completed around the sun, 80 years is nothing. While there are many passages that could be quoted, here are three:
“Seventy years are given to us! Some even live to eighty. But even the best years are filled with pain and trouble; soon they disappear, and we fly away.” Psalms 90:10 NLT
“We are here for only a moment, visitors and strangers in the land as our ancestors were before us. Our days on earth are like a passing shadow, gone so soon without a trace.” 1 Chronicles 29:15 NLT
“How frail is humanity! How short is life, how full of trouble! We blossom like a flower and then wither. Like a passing shadow, we quickly disappear.” Job 14:1-2 NLT
It’s Depressingly True
As I have aged, I’ve spent more time pondering what of my life will remain after I’m gone. The glimmer of past accomplishments (things I was very proud of in my youth) has already faded. What will be left to remember when my body is buried? Who will care about athletic and academic awards or fawning words of approval? Who will reverently honor any clever financial decisions? Business accomplishments? The size of my house? The landscaping of my back yard? The type of car in my garage? Titles after my name? Some of it may be mentioned in a eulogy. But will people concern themselves thinking about me after earth covers my coffin? Nah. Everyone will be moving on to the next thing (their own concerns). Memories will fade and eventually be whisked away as if I had never existed.
Read MoreChoosing to See Beyond What’s in Front of Me
How many plans have been started with grand vision and then abandoned because of how insignificant and underwhelming the idea later felt? My visionary follow-through often struggles. Emotions of discouragement settle in when the glorious things I imagine don’t swiftly materialize.
Not seeing an acorn rapidly sprout into a mighty oak, could easily keep me from watering, nurturing, or even planting it in the first place. Difficulty envisioning a broken, painful relationship restored to something beautiful and life-giving could keep me from pursuing it, praying for it, and persevering in hope. Even the process of what God desires to transform within me could stall before it starts as old fears, mindsets, and doubts stubbornly refuse to surrender their dominance. It’s so difficult to go all in when what I’m starting with is pitifully minuscule or deformed, carrying no resemblance of what I’m hoping for.
Exercising faith can be so difficult.
Yet a tiny, mediocre, or unlikely beginning best describes the inception of so many significant undertakings. Only later is the fully-matured outcome looked upon as grand and imposing. God seems to have no problem starting with something or someone that is tiny, broken, or unimpressive. In the book of the prophet Zechariah, He warns His people to not wrongly judge the initial steps of rebuilding the temple. All they could see was a sadly mediocre foundation. It promised none of the greatness of the awe -inspiring place of worship that Solomon had built.
“Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin . . .” (Zechariah 4:10a NLT).
Read MoreChoosing to Stand
Many years ago I read a slim little book by a Chinese pastor known as Watchman Nee. It was a study of of the Biblical book of Ephesians. It is called Sit, Walk, Stand, and I have referred to it many times since.
SIT
He points out that the first three chapters of Ephesians focus on what God has done for us through Jesus. We are told that God predestined us to be adopted by Himself through Jesus (Ephesians 1:5). That He’s given us the Holy Spirit as a guarantee of our future inheritance until we acquire possession of it (Ephesians 1:13-14). That we have been saved by grace through faith (Ephesians 2:8). That we are no longer strangers and aliens but members of God’s household (Ephesians 2:19). That Christ is ready to dwell in our hearts (Ephesians 3:17). And these are a mere fraction of what all is stated to be ours in the first three sections.
Pastor Nee calls these the SITTING chapters. All that God has done for us is laid out, and we simply have to learn to rest or SIT in what has been set into motion. There are really no commands or directions given to obey here. We are called to believe and trust — which of course is not always easy.
Read MoreChoosing to Seek the Highest
The word ‘love’ in English is quite pliable. I can say that I love my wife and I love pizza, and most people will not accuse me of reducing my spouse to a mere platter of pepperoni nor seeking to marry an Italian meal. The word can refer to a need (a plant “loves” water) or enthusiasm for a particular thing or activity (my son “loves” the Minnesota Vikings). It can also describe a profoundly tender affection for another (I love my children). In addition, it can reference almost every positive feeling between the two extremes. This flexibility, however, can sometimes lull us into not thinking about what we mean when we use the word. For a follower of Jesus, care in what we say we love and particularly in what we actually do love has important theological, and eternal, implications.
When I talk about the concept of love with others, I like to point out that it is much more than a feeling. It is a type of choice. Most people agree with this in theory but then get a bit uncomfortable when we examine how we actually apply the term. When we use phrases like “falling in love,” or “falling out of love” there’s no getting around the idea that we’re talking about an emotion that acts independently of our will. It can be here one moment and gone another. Such usage leaves the impression that we are helpless victims to this thing we call love. So much of today’s understanding of relationships (romantic and otherwise) is centered on what we feel about a person at any given moment. All the fluctuation in our feelings can stir up deep insecurity in relationships, not to mention crass cynicism. Love does not seem very stable.
A More Durable Understanding
The biblical presentation of love, however, talks about something more reliable than good and affectionate feelings. How else should we interpret Jesus’ command to “love one another” (John 15:12)? He tells His followers to do it, no qualifications or exceptions. Most people realize that feelings cannot be commanded to come or go. Instead, feelings tend to follow our beliefs, our choices, and what we focus our attention on. The love Jesus is talking about, therefore, must be something we choose to engage with regardless what we may or may not feel. It’s a matter of obeying Him.
A definition I find helpful for this understanding of love is choosing to give the highest good to another. It’s what God does for us and what he tells us to do for others. Sometimes the words that carry the meaning of love the best are I still choose you.
Read MoreChoosing the Gift of Shalom
I once read an article by an atheist describing the serenity he felt as he overlooked a beautiful valley while drinking a cup of coffee. The point he was trying to make was that Christians do not have a monopoly on peace. He was irritated with the claim that religion is somehow necessary for a person to have a sense of tranquility. His way of refuting this was to recount the many times he had experienced an internal quiet and harmony with nature and others without any acknowledgement of the divine. His conclusion was that a belief in God is not necessary to feel peaceful. And after reading all that he had to say, I had to agree with him.
But is there more to it than what he was experiencing?
Jesus followers often talk about the peace that comes over us after surrendering our lives to Him. It’s often part of what we felt was missing in our lives. And it makes sense. Afterall, Jesus the Messiah is called the Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6); one of the fruits of the Spirit is peace (Galatians 5:22): and peacemakers will be called the children of God (Matthew 5:9). But what exactly is this quality that is promised all throughout the Bible?
Shalom
The biblical Hebrew word is still used by many modern Israelis as a greeting. Its general sense is that of holistic goodness. The Old Testament presents shalom as a multidimensional quality that includes physical, psychological, social, and spiritual wellbeing. God’s shalom thus adds up to an overall sense of inner security for the person who experiences it, which imparts many benefits. One example is stated in Psalm 4:8. “In peace [shalom] I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety” (ESV). Biblical peace appears to be something that is not created by the individual but comes from God. It also appears that trusting Him is what activates His shalom in our lives.
Read MoreChoosing to Remember Who I Am
No matter how hard I try, why are some things so difficult to resist? Overeating? Harsh responses to those who correct me? Anxiety about the future? I know how I should respond, what I’m supposed to do, and what I ought to feel. But that rarely gives me what I need to actually do it and never provides what is necessary to truly feel it. No matter what they say, will power alone does not have what it takes to change me and keep me strong against all the types of temptation that push on me.
A 15th Century German-Dutch follower of Jesus named Thomas á Kempis wrote, “The beginning of all evil temptations is a mind not firmly fixed on its purpose…”* I have pondered what this means for quite a while now, and I think brother Thomas has something to teach us. The understanding of my purpose is rooted in the understanding of my identity. Who and what I believe myself to be forms the foundation for all that I do and why I do it.
But to make it a bit more complex, it’s not just what I believe about my purpose and identity that is key. The essential point is that these beliefs are what motivate me and they, in turn, shape me. I act according to who and what I interpret myself to be. My identity informs all that I do. How I view myself and my purpose then becomes that which determines how I make all my life decisions.
What’s the Connection?
So, what might be the relationship between temptation and what I believe about myself and my purpose? I now understand that what I most identify with is what makes up the blueprint of the desires and feelings I submit to, as well as those I resist. If I see myself fundamentally as someone suffering because of my environment and other people’s choices over which I have no control, I will find it difficult to resist the temptation to see myself as a victim. And I will more easily submit to resentment and bitterness, feeling stuck, like I have no other choice.
If, however, I understand myself primarily as one who is loved and valued, I can see more options when I make decisions. My purpose can more easily come into focus by believing there are those who believe in me. What I root my identity in and draw my sense of purpose from contribute greatly to whether or not I am emotionally stable. Purpose and identity are shaped by these mindsets that have captured my allegiance.
Read MoreChoosing a Different Perspective
Perhaps you’ve seen the presentation before. Someone asks you to tell them what you see on the screen. You look, and there is a single black dot in the middle. That is all. The presenter then asks if there is anything more. Once you confirm that the tiny black speck is the only thing there, the presenter then asks about all the white space surrounding the dot. Oh! You never thought about considering that as part of what was there. Now you’re looking at the screen differently.
This is just one of a million ways to introduce the idea of “reframing.” It’s the act of seeing a situation or problem from a different perspective. It can be a very helpful instrument for change. Therapists use it. Life Coaches use it. Leaders use it. And many individuals have turned it into a personal problem-solving tool. The goal is always to find a solution or way forward when confronted with the feeling that you’re limited or stuck.
Viewing circumstances from a different angle will almost always loosen up stiff thinking patterns. In the example above, our minds tend to put a “frame” around the one tiny particle at the center of the screen, and that is all that is consciously acknowledged. A new perspective is gained when the “frame” is stretched outward to encompass the entire screen. Awareness of new space opens the door for new possibilities and, for any potential problem, new solutions. We also see that the dot (or problem) is actually quite small when a new frame opens our eyes to a much larger context.
A New Perspective
I learned to do this long before I knew there was a name for it. As I was hit with problems, fears, and hurts when I first joined YWAM, a wise voice often asked me, “What does Jesus want to teach you in this, Jeff?”
Read MoreChoosing to Care for that which Belongs to God
A few years back, some friends asked if I would keep their car while they spent a few months working in Asia. I could use it as a second vehicle as long as I took care of it. It ended up being a great deal for us as a family who had only one vehicle. It was more sporty than our minivan, a stick-shift, and a lot of fun to drive. Ironically, I was accused of giving it more tender-loving-care than our own vehicle – checking the oil at each fill-up, regular car washes, vacuuming the inside. Why? Though I enjoyed it for the season as if it was my own, I knew it was not really mine. I wanted my friends to continue to trust me and think of me whenever they had something else of importance that needed watching.
The old-fashioned word for such a role is “steward.” The term “stewardship” refers to the management of someone else’s property. It’s a word you’re likely to hear these days mainly in church services when the pastor is speaking on giving. And for the longest time, that is what I thought the word meant: giving money to the church to keep it going. I’ll save my thoughts on that for another post.
But as the years have passed, my role as a steward has taken on greater meaning. Giving thanks has become an important discipline in my life (read post on Thanksgiving). After all, there really is nothing I possess that I have acquired purely on my own. The problem, of course, is that I easily behave as if what I have is solely mine to do with as I wish. Money, titles, relationships, and time are all gifts from my Creator. Yet how I use them is still often directed by my desires and fears, not the love and wisdom of the One who gave them. Typically this produces a short-term mindset, seeking immediate gratification, rather than understanding long-term purpose. But what might be the benefits if I truly believed and lived as if everything in my possession ultimately belongs to another – to the One who gives generously but always with a purpose?
Read MoreChoosing to Offer an Invitation
In the movies it always looked so easy and nonconsequential. As a kid, I watched shows where chairs were busted over heads in barroom fights, the recipient merely staggering a few paces before flinging his opponent through a wooden railing. In addition there were the scenes where a medium-built man kicked a front door wide open. And he never walked with a limp afterwards or stopped to rub the jolted knee or hip joint. Power. It all seemed impressively real until the day I picked up a chair in anger to throw at my brother. Besides being too heavy (fortunately) to lift above my head to toss, I was instantly sobered with the realization that if the chair did break apart on his head, it would likely kill him. I didn’t even have to experiment with kicking a door to realize that it would take someone with a lot more strength than me to pop a solid oak barrier off its hinges with one swing of the leg.
And yet there is someone with “door-busting” abilities that we should all take notice of.
Jesus began His earthly ministry overpowering (or “kicking down”) obstacles that were raised against Him and His purposes. He ordered demonic interference to be silent and flee. He commanded stormy wind and water to be calm, unfruitful trees to wither, diseases to leave human bodies, and corpses to come back to life. No human had ever displayed such might over nature, physical ailments, spiritual darkness, and death. Nothing could stand in His way. Truly, He was the archetype man of the movies that caught my imagination as a kid. He could not be stopped, no matter what was thrown at Him, no matter the barrier in front of Him. Nothing resisted His will . . . except for one thing.
Read More
Choose This Day 