Choosing to Care for that which Belongs to God
A few years back, some friends asked if I would keep their car while they spent a few months working in Asia. I could use it as a second vehicle as long as I took care of it. It ended up being a great deal for us as a family who had only one vehicle. It was more sporty than our minivan, a stick-shift, and a lot of fun to drive. Ironically, I was accused of giving it more tender-loving-care than our own vehicle – checking the oil at each fill-up, regular car washes, vacuuming the inside. Why? Though I enjoyed it for the season as if it was my own, I knew it was not really mine. I wanted my friends to continue to trust me and think of me whenever they had something else of importance that needed watching.
The old-fashioned word for such a role is “steward.” The term “stewardship” refers to the management of someone else’s property. It’s a word you’re likely to hear these days mainly in church services when the pastor is speaking on giving. And for the longest time, that is what I thought the word meant: giving money to the church to keep it going. I’ll save my thoughts on that for another post.
But as the years have passed, my role as a steward has taken on greater meaning. Giving thanks has become an important discipline in my life (read post on Thanksgiving). After all, there really is nothing I possess that I have acquired purely on my own. The problem, of course, is that I easily behave as if what I have is solely mine to do with as I wish. Money, titles, relationships, and time are all gifts from my Creator. Yet how I use them is still often directed by my desires and fears, not the love and wisdom of the One who gave them. Typically this produces a short-term mindset, seeking immediate gratification, rather than understanding long-term purpose. But what might be the benefits if I truly believed and lived as if everything in my possession ultimately belongs to another – to the One who gives generously but always with a purpose?
Read MoreChoosing to Offer an Invitation
In the movies it always looked so easy and nonconsequential. As a kid, I watched shows where chairs were busted over heads in barroom fights, the recipient merely staggering a few paces before flinging his opponent through a wooden railing. In addition there were the scenes where a medium-built man kicked a front door wide open. And he never walked with a limp afterwards or stopped to rub the jolted knee or hip joint. Power. It all seemed impressively real until the day I picked up a chair in anger to throw at my brother. Besides being too heavy (fortunately) to lift above my head to toss, I was instantly sobered with the realization that if the chair did break apart on his head, it would likely kill him. I didn’t even have to experiment with kicking a door to realize that it would take someone with a lot more strength than me to pop a solid oak barrier off its hinges with one swing of the leg.
And yet there is someone with “door-busting” abilities that we should all take notice of.
Jesus began His earthly ministry overpowering (or “kicking down”) obstacles that were raised against Him and His purposes. He ordered demonic interference to be silent and flee. He commanded stormy wind and water to be calm, unfruitful trees to wither, diseases to leave human bodies, and corpses to come back to life. No human had ever displayed such might over nature, physical ailments, spiritual darkness, and death. Nothing could stand in His way. Truly, He was the archetype man of the movies that caught my imagination as a kid. He could not be stopped, no matter what was thrown at Him, no matter the barrier in front of Him. Nothing resisted His will . . . except for one thing.
Read MoreChoosing to Relate from the Heart
I was the new kid. I knew no one, and no one knew me. Having just moved from out of state, I was trying out for the football team as a high-school freshman. This was my uncharacteristically bold way of seeking connections. But half-way through the first day, I realized it wasn’t working. Everyone could see by my clumsy movements that I had never played before. I was an athletic pariah. No one dared risk expending social capital to get to know someone who would not increase their chances for success on the team.
At the end of the long day, I dragged myself to the locker room, intending to quit.
“Hey, I think you’ll do all right,” a voice said behind me.
I turned to see the player who, from the beginning of the day, I had identified as the overall star of the team. He slapped my shoulder pads. And with that heavy thud, my life changed.
Kelley ended up becoming my best friend through high school. His extroverted popularity covered my shy awkwardness in ways I had never experienced before. We went on to room together at college (he continued his success as a football player) and were the “best men” in each other’s weddings (I finally beat him in something by finding a wife sooner). We were the first ones at the hospital when each of our daughters were born within a few weeks of each other (both, little beauties). To this day, decades later, though we live in different states and stay connected with phone calls and visits whenever possible, I still consider him my best friend.
Years after that first day of practice I asked him why he, with such rich social and athletic capital, reached out to me, an unknown nobody. He shrugged and said, “I don’t know. I just felt my heart go out to you.”
That was it.
Why do we choose the relationships we do?
It’s no secret that many use relationships as stepping stones to get what they want. It is not unusual for someone to let a “friendship” wither once it is no longer useful or convenient. And for most of us, the thought of initiating a relationship that demonstrates no potential for personal benefit does not even enter our minds. There are natural subconscious blocks against such a move. Whether I consciously acknowledge it or not, relationships are most often evaluated on “what they can do for me.” Energy, effort and commitment to others are meted out as I envision the return on my investment. Granted, sometimes wisdom requires me to trim my social interactions when I get overextended or a relationship becomes unhealthy. But what is the godly standard for such pruning?
Read MoreChoosing My Building Materials
I first became a homeowner when I was 25. It was a small run-down rental in a suburb of Sacramento, California. My wife and I decided we could buy it at a good price and “fix it up” ourselves in preparation for our soon-to-arrive first child. I had never done any kind of remodel work or even basic house projects for that matter. And this was before YouTube do-it-yourself videos. But it seemed like a good idea at the time. And thus I began to climb a steep learning curve: painting, wallpapering, roofing, siding, wiring, digging (an inground sprinkler system). Many mistakes, and a lot of money, later, our house was pretty much the way we wanted it. And then we sold it and joined Youth With A Mission (YWAM), all five of us living in one bedroom for more than a year.
Upon reflection, there are a couple of valuable life-lessons I learned, besides “measuring twice to cut only once” and that aligning wallpaper patterns does matter. For one, it is not good for someone with a red-green color blind condition to do household electrical work (a true story for another time). But probably even more important to be applied to the big picture of life is that the quality of the materials you use in your projects makes a difference – especially long-term.
My tendency has been to go cheap to save money. There are always less expensive toilet-repair kits, garden hoses, and brands of paint that catch my eye and keep more in my wallet. In contrast, my wife’s mantra has always been, you get what you pay for, so go with quality for the things that are important. We have had more than a few disagreements over this topic when money was tight (more true stories for another time). But, as the years have gone by and after many repeated repair jobs, paying again to replace the same part, I have come pretty close to now agreeing with her. The bottom line is, I want things to last. And making that happen never comes cheap.
The Most Important Investments
Yes, the Bible does have some things to say about quality building materials and lasting dwelling places. There is Jesus’ parable about the man who built his house on the rock (Matthew 7:24-27). We’re told that it is the quality and wisdom of Jesus’ teachings that are solid enough to be the foundation of our lives and keep us from collapsing in the storm. Of course, there is the cost of studying, meditating on, memorizing, and loving His word to actually have the benefits of this foundation.
But there is another passage that intrigues me, found in 1 Corinthians 3:10-15:
Read MoreChoosing to Follow Honest Desires
As a Follower of Jesus, is asking God to fulfill my desires a bad thing? I have been asked this question more than once. There are two extremes that I now see getting associated with Christianity. One comes out of the God-wants-you-to-be-happy theology and therefore wants to satisfy every desire. The other is more related to Eastern asceticism, labeling the pursuit of desires as a source of distraction that leads to suffering and deceitfully draws us away from God.
The short (and unsatisfying) answer that I usually offer: it depends.
So, maybe the better question is, how do I determine the character of my desire?
The Bible talks a lot about desires, and I have written before on the topic (read “Choosing to Desire Well”). Here I am writing about it again. I never seem to be able to get away from thinking about how desires are integral to how we do life. Whether we’re always aware of it or not, we make our choices and pursue our paths according to whatever object or goal our desires have zeroed-in on. Thus the Bible warns us of deceitful desires (Ephesians 4:22) and even ones that can lead to death (James 4:2). But it also informs us that there are desires that lead us to good places (Proverbs 11:23) and those that God longs to fulfill (Psalm 37:4; 145:16).
They are not all trustworthy
I have recently been going through the Book of Ephesians, and my mind got stuck on a verse warning that my life can be corrupted through deceitful desires (4:22). I began to think about how there are desires that lie and lead us in directions that are not good for us. They make promises like “If you just had more money, you would be happier.” Or, “If you had a spouse or a different spouse, or none at all, then you could flourish as a person.” Or, “If you had more education or certain skills, then you would feel valued.” All these and many more promises like them basically tell us that any particular thing or status, or relationship that we strongly desire will bring satisfaction once it is attained. Therefore, pursue it!
If there can be a “deceitful” desire, does that mean there are also honest or truth-telling desires? As I have written in the past, we typically get focused on the object of what we want which is the item or goal that we believe will satisfy. This is where we so often get deceived. An honest desire can thus be understood to be one that God has planted in us. I would call these the real or core desires of our hearts. They are what so often get overlooked as we pursue the unreliable promises of the objects we are lusting after.
Read MoreChoosing to Believe in Paradise
Dystopian stories have been all the rage for quite a few years now. The 20th Century produced novels like Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell, Brave New World by Alex Huxley, and Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury. They each described an imagined future in which powerful forces sought to control not only people’s behavior but also what they thought—a very grim outlook. More recently, The Hunger Games by Susan Collins and Divergent by Veronica Roth are examples of popular stories turned into movies that describe a similar bleak future for humanity in which a controlling elite, through fear and manipulation, hold the populace in bondage. Interestingly, many of the most recent and fashionable dystopian novels have been labeled “Young Adult” fiction. Might this provide a peek into this generation’s expectations for what is to come?
The word dystopian comes from the Greek prefix “dys,” which refers to something bad, harsh, or wrong combined with the Greek word “topos” which means place. The opposite would be utopian, which refers to a community or country where everything is perfect and ideal.
So, why are there no utopian novels being made into movies? It seems that would be much more uplifting. My guess is that no one believes such places are possible, and stories about perfection are typically considered boring anyway. In fact, most of the dystopian novels I am aware of concern societies attempting to make themselves into utopian communities. But of course as is generally true, but not always believed, such human efforts fall short, often miserably. And thus the “best” tales that seem to resonate with the most people are those of the gloomy failures in which humans ineptly seek to make their own paradise.
Has it ever worked?
Speaking of paradise, the Bible has a few things to say on this topic. God appears to be interested in drawing humans into a place of utter joy and contentment where there is no evil. We are told in the first two chapters of Genesis that He in fact created a paradise for the first humans. Not only was this Garden perfect with every human need met, but God Himself walked and interacted with all He created, taking particular delight and interest in humans. The man and woman drew their life from the unmediated Divine Presence as the rest of creation looked to them for proper care and management. And it was this unbroken connection with the Creator that allowed the Garden, administered by the humans, to be a successful utopia. It was the place where heaven and earth met. It was the reference point that would be buried deep within the soul of every future human of what ought to be and what we were made for.
Read MoreChoosing a Real Friend
I was a child when I remember first hearing the concept of having a “friendship with God.” It provided a welcome relief from the burden of legalism my young perception of religion had pressed on me. But looking back, I now see that this new paradigm also brought a problem. My reference point for “friendship” was rooted in adolescent relationships, which were all focused on what made ME feel good. Thus, while thinking of my connection with God as a friend made Christianity more attractive, it also skewed my image of Him as I viewed our relationship through the fuzzy lens of what’s-in-it-for-me.
Friendships, in my adolescent mind, were supposed to boost MY self-esteem. They were supposed to make ME feel more valuable and less lonely. I was supposed to feel happier, more attractive and always affirmed in MY likes, dislikes and behavior. With the perfect friend at MY side, I imagined MY social awkwardness would disappear; MY shyness around girls would evaporate; I would get more compliments and affirmation. And I would have someone to help ME with MY homework to get straight A’s. The friendship motif was brilliant! Who would not want a relationship like this with God?
A Different Kind of Friendship
Initially, I felt hopeful. I had found the secret to the good Christian life: walking through this world with God as my Buddy. However, as time went on, I began to experience frustration and disappointment. God didn’t show up as a friend in all the ways I expected. I didn’t always feel happy, and I felt even more socially awkward. Loneliness still haunted me and guilt and shame nipped at my heels. My relationship with God eventually cooled as I began to see Him as not knowing how real friends were supposed to act. He needed to learn a thing or two about how to be there for me when I needed Him.
It was quite a few years later that the truth dawned on me. I had never looked into or thought about God’s understanding of “friendship.” Was it possible that His perspective was different than mine? Was He actually friends with people in the Bible? And if so, were there ground rules? How did they work?
Read MoreChoosing My Source of Glory
The pop artist Andy Warhol is said to have come up with the phrase that is now known as “15 minutes of fame.” There is disagreement over whether it was actually his idea. But regardless of who coined it, the idea took hold and is now a cliché catch phrase. It refers to the fleeting nature of celebrity status. The vast majority of those who have a season in the spotlight (be it for good or ill), are soon forgotten, relegated to the trash heap of notoriety in favor of the next interesting personality, talent, oddity, or horror. “Enjoy your 15 minutes of fame,” we might be told after getting some kind of media attention for a worthy accomplishment (or an embarrassing blunder). For typically, that is all it will be – a quick bright flash, and then mundane nothingness.
As a child, I always thought it would be great to be famous. Popularity at school would have been an encouraging start – if I only could have attained it. However, the desire did not necessarily disappear as I grew older. Perhaps it changed shape a bit, but the perennial longing for acclaim followed me into adulthood. To be recognized. To be known. To be admired. To be highly esteemed. To be remembered. By the time I was somewhat more mature, I understood that this wish to be famous and/or popular was not a godly thing and therefore probably not God’s will for me. Thus I tried to bury it.
But was my hunger for attention that far out of line?
A God-Given Craving?
In his essay, “The Weight of Glory,” C.S. Lewis addresses our human desire for fame. He concludes that glory is what we are after, and glory is what God is offering us. But, of course, like so many qualities in the broken world we live in, our understanding of this attribute has been twisted to fit our fallen self-indulgence. In our “me-centered” minds, glory is merely another word for human recognition that affirms that we are above and somehow better than others. This kind of glory is typically sought by doing anything that gets people to notice and not easily forget. It will almost always involve making a lot of money, getting major media attention, being the best at something, scoring goals, turning heads, behaving badly, forcefully overpowering others in a grandiose way, and even killing on a massive scale or in a unique way.
Hmm.
So what does God have in mind instead?
Read MoreChoosing to Embrace the Dry Season
The Sahara can be a lonely and disheartening place. I’ve been to this seemingly endless North African sandbox several times. Its beauty, overshadowed by the harshness and potential for disaster, was often not seen till after I returned home and reviewed my photos. On one trip, I hunkered down in a house with my team, riding out a sandstorm in which the air remained a hazy dark brown with little visibility for almost three weeks. During another, I nearly froze under the stars in my sleeping bag in the sand, anxiously wondering if I would be trampled by a group of nearby camels.
But the most disheartening experience was running out of gas along a barren stretch of road, miles from any village. We never saw another car. Our vehicle had a second fuel reservoir, but the mechanism used to switch the intake between the two tanks wasn’t working. In the end, I had to suck on a siphoning tube to manually move gasoline from the full one to the empty one. What a relief when the car finally started again.
And yet occasionally I have had eyes to see some profoundly beautiful things in this grim and desolate place. Green spots can suddenly appear while driving through the sea of brown rock and sand. An oasis is an exquisite sight in the desert. Jesus followers who somehow persevere in the midst of threats and persecution can unexpectedly show up at your door. What a humbling experience to interact with a believer who truly understands the cost of following our Lord. In my mind, the symbol that best represents hope in this seemingly lifeless and uninhabitable land is the date palm. It thrives in desolately arid regions and produces some of the sweetest fruit I’ve ever tasted. We gorged ourselves on this desert candy while camping beside a cool pool of water in an oasis. It was truly an exotic and refreshing experience.
Life in the Wilderness
Sometimes, followers of Jesus feel as if we have been led into a desert with no oasis in sight. It’s difficult to imagine beauty or opportunities for nourishment in harsh, dry and dusty places. The goal is usually just to find a way to get through as quickly and as painlessly as possible. And yet many followers of Jesus talk of the “dry seasons” of their faith. They wonder where God has gone, what’s up with not being able to hear His voice like they could in the past, and why serving Him feels so much harder than it used to. Desert experiences are not fun. What kind of good can they possibly provide?
Read MoreChoosing My Allegiance
The 4th of July has traditionally been one of the most important days for Americans to express their patriotism, loyalty, and love of country. As a kid, I vaguely understood this. Fireworks, picnics, and homemade ice cream were what I perceived and appreciated most. American Independence Day slowly worked its way into my overall awareness of history, politics, and symbolic gestures as part of the trappings of being an American.
Speaking of gestures . . .
I was a part of the generation that grew up saying the Pledge of Allegiance in class each morning in my public school. We would stand next to our desks and place our hands over our hearts as we faced the U.S. flag. The words would roll off our tongues without really hearing them. It was a ritual that I never thought about deeply. I saw its main value as a reference point for learning to distinguish my right hand from the left as a child. And yet, aware or unaware, it still was a powerful declaration that we children made each morning. As we grew older, we would then decide how much of it we actually meant.
We Cannot Escape Them
But allegiances are part of life. They are what give shape to our identity as individuals and as groups. Who I am is typically best put into words by speaking of the community, activities, beliefs, roles, and goals to which I have attached myself and continue in submission to. Even among those who say they have no allegiances, it’s likely they have a strong loyalty to their own independence and self-preservation at the very least. To literally hold no allegiance to anything is somewhat equivalent to being one of the walking dead. That person would theoretically be just a body, with no sense of connection to anything that raises him or her above the status of an animal. And thus there would be no ability to clarify uniqueness, beliefs, hopes, dreams, etc. I doubt there are many, if any, who truly have no loyalties to anything. Without some point of devotion or commitment to that which gives them meaning, they would be worthy of pity from the rest of us because they would not really be living.
Allegiance ultimately is an activity of the heart. Humans, I believe, were created to exercise it and do so without a lot of conscious effort. It arises from within and says, “This is what I am going to give myself to. This is going to give me my sense of purpose.” I often hear people talk about it in terms of what their passions are – the things they feel strongly about and give themselves to with abandon, holding nothing back.
Read More
Choose This Day 